Am I really being unreasonable? I mean, really?

[FruitCakey]

DS (he is 7) has just had an iPad mini for Christmas. SIL and MIL feel I am being a total bitch not allowing my 2 year old nephew to "take turns" in playing with my DS brand new tablet. I am actually really cross! They keep making comments about how sad it is for poor nephew, that he should be fine.

I have told them that there is no chance. I wouldn't have bought a tablet for my son at 2, therefore DN won't be using DS tablet at only 2 either. For no other reason than I don't trust that he can look after it.

I have explained this in the nicest possible way. They still keep making remarks regarding DN having a go when he screams and tantrums to get to it.

I have now just overheard MIL telling SIL that it isn't my place to tell them that DN isn't allowed a go. Excuse me!? When I have paid a lot of money for a tablet for my DS, do I really not have the right to decide who the hell can use it?

Am I really being unreasonable? I just can't imagine how I am?

Do you think Fruit and her in-laws are having a row atm?

I have 2 DSs, one 7, one 2. They both play with the (my) tablet, but the 2yo has to be supervised. I have games appropriate for him on there (shape sorting, matching, letters and numbers etc.) but he will keep getting into things he shouldn't given half a chance!

DS1 does play it in front of DS2, as do I - but he gets told "No" when it's not appropriate, and has it taken off him.

In your case, do you know whether or not your DN has used one before? If he has, then I think that it's not the end of the world to maybe let him have a supervised go for a few minutes; but if not, then maybe not.

I totally understand your "I wouldn't let my son use one at 2" - we didn't even HAVE a tablet in the house until DS1 was 5 - but once it's there, it's there and it's not actually that bad if you keep an eye on what they're doing, IMO.

If you don't want your Ds to share his tablet, then fair enough, but it is highly provocative of him to be playing it in front of his cousin if his cousin is then not allowed to touch it, so he could be kinder and keep it out of sight.

mrsstar my god daughter watches mine with me, I don't let her play with it but I put this big eff off rubber cover thing on and don't really let her touch it. BUT she dribbled and it someone got into the speaker thing and now is perma mute angry
That's shit luck, have never had any such disasters but I do tend to be holding it so can move it swiftly if needs be (what's the betting the next time something terrible happens and I end up back on here asking for advice

No mine was a little shit at times but he didn't get his own way by screaming and having a tantrum.

Having said all that, of COURSE it is "your place" to decide who gets to touch an expensive piece of kit in your house that you have paid for, and your MIL is being ridiculous.

Good manners when you have visitors = play something everyone can play with, put unsuitable items, or those that you don't want to share, out of sight.
Don't wind up an overexcited 2 year old by teasing them with something that they are bound to want but can't have.
My solution for this sort of situation is for everybody to go out for a nice long walk.

Your house, your rules.

My 2 year old nephew always plays with my iPad no biggie. He hasn't damaged my sis, daily or mine yet.

I feel rather sorry for the 7 year old expected to "compromise" - ie go to his room or stop using his present - to stop a 2 year old kicking off.

Tell your son to take the I pad elsewhere. Fine not to want dn to play with it, pretty rude to play on it in front of him.

I used to try and avoid the tantrums fat chance by avoiding situations and distracting the children before they started. Bit difficult when you're in an environment when an older child is playing with something VERY interesting and there is flat out refusal to diffuse the situation (by either taking the thing away for a while or letting the younger child have a good look and a go on it)

Little children have always been pandered to in my family, at least as far as sharing toys, watching crap on the TV and such - and then that part of the fun is over and we move on to something else usually by distraction or going out for a walk or something.

Can the 2 year old not watch? He doesn't need to have a go on the thing?

My 25 month old DS is perfectly happy to watch his older cousins on tablets.

YA NOT BU.

Has the 2 year old not got his own age appropriate toys?

Your house, your rules

?(•?•)?

yeah your house your rules

There's a really great article I read somewhere on why it's not fair to demand children share, wish I could find it.
I got a new handbag for Christmas, would hate it if I was expected to share with my cousin because she had a tantrum!

YANBU, not at all, and the view that the 2yr old should get what he wants because he throws a tantrum is mind boggling, and neither should your son have to stop using it or use it somewhere else.

Love all the 'well my two year old blah blah blah....'

Well my two year old broke the cheapy tablet we bought for him (as his older brothers were getting one each as a gift from grandad) within a day, so no, I don't think an iPad is suitable for a 2 year old. Particularly as it sounds like this particular toddler might be a little bit over-indulged and used to getting his own way?

And three days after Christmas I think he is entitled to use his main gift when he wants.

I wish OP would come back and tell us how it's going over the tea and sandwiches, that is if it's < whispers> not a wind up.

Why has the seven year old got tablet? Whatever happened to a dump truck and a few hot wheels cars?

YANBU!

They need to find ways to entertain their 2 yr old and help him to understand that your DS's ipad is out of bounds. My kids always wanted my phone when they were toddlers, but the answer was always NO. Its MY phone and its expensive - not a plaything for a baby. Sorry!

Regardless of the fact that he is too young to look after an expensive piece of technology like this, its also a brand new present for your DS - of course he is going to want to commandeer it!

They need to get over themselves.

Yanbu. However, anything my children didn't want to share didn't come out when in company.

We are in my MIL house. SIL lives around the corner. They are here from 8.00am until DS bedtime. We are here visiting for Xmas as we live 2 hours away. I refuse to make my DS leave the room on the day he received his present and the past few days following. DS has limited times on the iPad, but with DN being here from morning to night, I won't isolate my son. What is wrong with DN learning that he can't get his own way and play with everything he tantrums over? There is nothing wrong with DN being told 'no'. DN plays on my MIL iPad quite regularly. He will sit on it for hours, I literally mean hours. I have also witnessed him throw it on the floor in frustration and sit/stand on the iPad.

I understand all point of views, but it won't change my mind.

Totally with you on this. I'd be asking for a security deposit before letting DN near the iPad. Yanbu.