Am I really being unreasonable? I mean, really?

[FruitCakey]

DS (he is 7) has just had an iPad mini for Christmas. SIL and MIL feel I am being a total bitch not allowing my 2 year old nephew to "take turns" in playing with my DS brand new tablet. I am actually really cross! They keep making comments about how sad it is for poor nephew, that he should be fine.

I have told them that there is no chance. I wouldn't have bought a tablet for my son at 2, therefore DN won't be using DS tablet at only 2 either. For no other reason than I don't trust that he can look after it.

I have explained this in the nicest possible way. They still keep making remarks regarding DN having a go when he screams and tantrums to get to it.

I have now just overheard MIL telling SIL that it isn't my place to tell them that DN isn't allowed a go. Excuse me!? When I have paid a lot of money for a tablet for my DS, do I really not have the right to decide who the hell can use it?

Am I really being unreasonable? I just can't imagine how I am?

[helenthemadex]

YANBU at two years old children are curious about many things that they cant have, sometimes we have to say no and they have to learn to accept it

[usualsuspect333]

We all know that MN two year olds are told no and just accept it.

Silly me for forgetting that.

[usualsuspect333]

In fact all MN children know the meaning of no before they leave the womb.

[Frogme]

Nobody says it is easy or that there won't be tantrums etc but taking the easy route isn't necessarily the best route.

Why should the ops ds not be able to play with his christmas present? especially when dn has another one he is allowed to play on and why should he be allowed to play with an expensive electrical device that he may break? especially when dn has another one he is allowed to play on

[PurplePidjingThroughTheSnow]

My just 2yo is perfectly capable of asking his big cousin before he plays with his toys - any toys. They're dn's to share if he wishes. My only advice to dn is that he keeps things that are precious (like a new tablet) out of my ds's reach in case it gets broken accidentally

I certainly wouldn't demand ds was given a turn on a brand new expensive toy, that's just pure rude.

[merlehaggard]

I would have let my son (now 4) play on our iPads when 2 but under supervision. In these circumstances, where it is his cousins ipad and not siblings/mum/dad's and you have said no (which you have every right to do) then I think YANBU.

[NowBringUsSomeFuzzpiggyPudding]

Not read thread but YANBU, though DS should be old enough to understand that he should perhaps put it away while toddler is around.

[Moreisnnogedag]

Yanbu. My now 4 yr old has always played with my iPad (I did learn pretty sharpish how to stop him deleting apps!) but has never been allowed on either his nana's or granny's. He tantrummed like a good 'un but just wasn't allowed.

[Stitchosaurus]

I just don't know what to make of threads that take the piss out of people who are able to tell their child no and then put up with the tantrum...is it really that rare? Of course a 2 year old isn't allowed to play with a 7 year old's expensive present! Sounds like he's being egged on by his mum and grandma anyway and probably would have lost interest ages ago without their input.
YNBU op

[ShadowSuperNova]

YANBU, especially as you've seen the 2 yr old throwing MIL's iPad around. They're expensive gadgets, not kids toys. If your MIL is happy to let her DGS play roughly with her iPad, fine, but that doesn't mean you should be happy to let him play with your DS's new iPad.

I was initially in agreement with the don't let DS play with the iPad in front of the 2 yr old argument, but as later posts made it clear there's another iPad around that the 2 yr old is normally allowed to play with, I don't see why your DS should have to put his new iPad away (or be expected to share).

[IHeartChristmasMoomies]

My 2 year old wouldn't necessarily accept being told no, but I still tell him no! If that results in a tantrum then so what?! He still has to learn it isn't his and no is no.

He's three now and much ok not really better

[SamCroClaus]

yanbu
you no you arn't
and why shouldn't your son play on his new "toy".
the 2 year old should be told NO and that should be the end of it.
next year I would have christmas at home

[Nanny0gg]

the 2 year old should be told NO and that should be the end of it.

ROFLMAO!

(Ooh, haven't used that for years!)

You haven't met my DGC have you? And I'm actually considered a reasonably strict nanny! Not many two year-olds will just accept a No and then pootle off. Not the ones I've met, anyway.

[GraysAnalogy]

My 2 year old wouldn't necessarily accept being told no, but I still tell him no! If that results in a tantrum then so what?!

Exactly!

[hoobypickypicky]

YANBU but as MIL and SIL disagree I suggest that whichever of them has the more expensive mobile/iPhone should hand it over to the tantruming 2 year old while you sit back and watch while he breaks plays with that.

It's not for you to stop your 7 year old from playing with his Christmas present. It's for your SIL to accept that her 2 year old can't have it and for her to relay that to her child.

The child is 2. The iPad isn't appropriate to his age. He can't have it. End of story.

[NoImSpartacus]

YADNBU !!!!

[Dancingincircles]

Yanbu - the fault seems to lie with MIL not letting your DN play with her ipad.

No way would I let a 2 year old on anyones brand new Ipad they'd just got for Christmas.

[ShadowSuperNova]

Even if the iPad wasn't new I wouldn't want a 2 yr old that had form for throwing iPads on the floor and sitting / standing on them anywhere near an iPad belonging to me / my DC. They're too expensive for me to tolerate that kind of rough handling.

[QTPie]

Your son's tablet, completely his choice (well done for supporting him).

I wouldn't be keen on allowing a toddler free access to a brand new tablet. When DS was small, we set up an old iPad (iPad 2) especially for him to use and put it in a special (tough) case.

If it means so much to SIL and MIL, they should buy DN a tablet or lend them their's.

[DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease]

Yanbu, sounds like sil just cba to deal with enforcing the no, and wants to make it your fault rather than the fact that she's tired of the toddler single-mindedness and tantrums. Tantrums or reactions to no which may have been made worse by being pandered to on previous occasions, but that's not your or ds' fault.

Is sil having a hard time with the toddler? Would it be kind to move yourself and dad to another room for a bit to diffuse the situation, even though by rights, of course you shouldn't have to.

[CheerfulYank]

YANBU, but I'd have DS play it in another room or when his cousin was in bed. A two year old is still little. It's not the same as a five year old throwing a fit.

And "isolating" your son...playing the tablet is isolating in and of itself. It makes no difference if he does it in another room or not.

[paperlace]

Oh I'm surprised at the responses actually.

I'd say YABU (although I get your argument) - I'd let the two year old play sitting down with it on his lap on the sofa.

Whether we like it or not pre schoolers own and play with new technology (so it is a toy for all intents and purposes) and can handle an ipad - walking around with or showing the slightest inclination to throw it then take it off him.

Otherwise keep it out of his sight and let your ds play for 20 minutes in her bedroom or whatever.

I have nephews and nieces of all ages and three older dc of my own - I would definitely ask my kids to let the little ones have a play.

[Dowser]

I don't think a child should be forced to share their toys if they don't want to.

It's not really teaching them anything is it?

Being the nice granny I am I let my DGC aged 4 have a go at my iPad. Yes he was sat down. Yes he was quiet with it and thankfully his mother caught sight of him before he started to delete my photos.

I would have KTB. The K stands for Killed....you can work the rest out lol!

Never again!

[Only1scoop]

Yanbu at all.

Ridiculous.... And if I was parent of dn Id agree with you.

[FruitCakey]

Cheerfulyank - With respect, I disagree. The iPad hasn't been isolating at all. I play games with DS and we have been using it for learning. We do it together. We take turns. Making DS leave the room is isolating him to pander to my DN wishes.