Am I really being unreasonable? I mean, really?

[FruitCakey]

DS (he is 7) has just had an iPad mini for Christmas. SIL and MIL feel I am being a total bitch not allowing my 2 year old nephew to "take turns" in playing with my DS brand new tablet. I am actually really cross! They keep making comments about how sad it is for poor nephew, that he should be fine.

I have told them that there is no chance. I wouldn't have bought a tablet for my son at 2, therefore DN won't be using DS tablet at only 2 either. For no other reason than I don't trust that he can look after it.

I have explained this in the nicest possible way. They still keep making remarks regarding DN having a go when he screams and tantrums to get to it.

I have now just overheard MIL telling SIL that it isn't my place to tell them that DN isn't allowed a go. Excuse me!? When I have paid a lot of money for a tablet for my DS, do I really not have the right to decide who the hell can use it?

Am I really being unreasonable? I just can't imagine how I am?

[FruitCakey]

Sigh, beadybaby - Do you propose I don't allow my DS to play on his brand new christmas gift at all then? Because that's what it'd mean.

I wouldn't say my DS was being rude for wanting to play on his Xmas present. What a silly assumption.

[FrogIsATwatInASantaHat]

I'm with cheesebuster at 14.40 on the 'enforced' sharing. I always told my children that it would be kind to let their friends play with their things as they expect to at their friends houses. Anything they don't want played with can be out of bounds. I don't see why it should be put away.

[FrogIsATwatInASantaHat]

Oh and fruitcakey. I'm with you

[BoneyBackJefferson]

I'm betting if he damaged it sil wouldn't pay to replace.

I'm better the SiL (and those on here advocating sharing) would be saying that it was the OP (or OP's DS) not supervising properly.

OP as your DN has your MiL's tablet to play with YANBU.

[Nanny0gg]

Tricky one.

My youngest DGC was far more interested in her older siblings' toys than his own. (non electronic)
So any precious ones were put in their bedrooms to be built/played with to stop younger sister destroying their games.

It's very hard to reason with an 18 month-old however much you try removing and distracting.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

*betting not better

[toomuchtooold]

Huh right, I have 2 year olds, I wouldn't let them near anything expensive or electrical. YANBU at all.

[GraysAnalogy]

For god's sake it's christmas time, family is round - life still goes on! I have a huge family (think lots of adults 11 kids aged 1-9 around at the same time) and they all play with their things.

People wouldn't be complaining if he was sat there writing a sonnet but because it's an ipad he should put it away because 'people are round'.

[toomuchtooold]

Also sometimes there are times when mine are being total rotters and I'm too tired/lazy to distract them, and they fixate on some inaccessible toy/animal/piece of technology and it would be really lovely if they were allowed to do the thing they want to do. But a) in that situation they usually only want it because they know they can't have it and b) once I've said no once, I need to stick to my guns, or else I'll lose all authority. So I think you are doing what's best anyway.

[Lifesalemon]

YANBU
No way should your 7yr old have to put his new toy out of sight just because its easier then teaching a spoilt 2ry old what No means.
I don't get what is rude about him quietly sat playing with it either, its not like he's the host.

[MissDuke]

Op yanbu at all. Under the circumstances, you are right to not isolate your ds given that dn is there all the time. If it were a short visit, then the right thing would be to put the toy away.

DN needs to learn the word 'no'. Since getting a new phone, I don't allow my two year old to touch it, as she was always dropping my previous phone - she has got used to the new rule and its fine. I bet DN would be the same of firmly told 'NO'!!

Your mil doesn't sound very nice op :-/

[Topseyt]

I don't think tablets, laptops, phones or any other expensive electronic gadgets make suitable toys for 2 year olds. They are expensive and too easily damaged, so you are not being unreasonable to say that the toddler cannot play with it.

However, I think you do need to get your son to do something a little more inclusive for his cousin. If he has been on the iPad all day while SIL and family have been visiting then that is possibly being seen as a tad antisocial. Say that he takes a break from the iPad regularly, puts it away out of sight and brings out some games/toys that are suitable for the little one. I believe breaks from the screens of tablet computers are advised anyway, as they put a fair bit of strain on the eyes.

If SIL intends taking the toddler home for his bedtime then it probably won't be for much longer (a couple of hours at most, probably less) and is it worth causing a frosty atmosphere over??

[Topseyt]

Oh, and yes, I do agree that toddler's mum and grandma both seem to need to learn how to say "no" to him and mean it.

[Honeydragon]

There is a tablet the two year old can play with, so I don't see why your ds should be forced to hand over his new toy.

If your ds was 18 and got a home brewery kit would he have to share it with his two year old cousin?

[mrsfuzzy]

mil and sil need to learn some manners, dn needs some boundries,i.e you can't have everything just because you grizzle and whinge, your ds should use his tablet when he wants, who the hell are mil and sil to tell you what you should do in your home ?? yanbu, it's your money that brought the tablet for your ds, it wasn't brought for dn. if they are stupid to think a 2 year old really needs to play with a tablet then they should buy him one , stupid both of them !!

[Custardcream14]

Yabu, very rude to let him play it at someone else's house, let alone infront of your nephew.

[Sister77]

Yanbu.
I would refuse simply because your mil and sil appear to be passive aggressive.

[Chandon]

This thread brings backmemories of my 2 year old throeing a massive tantrum as he wanted to drive the car

But with toys, I'd ask my DC to share, OR play with the nephew, OR just play the i pad in his room .

It is a bit anti social , otherwise

[usualsuspect333]

It wouldn't hurt to let the 2 year old have a little supervised go on it.

[Frogme]

And this is why there are so many entitled, rude and spoilt children around nowadays. They are never told no and all their wants and whims are catered to by their parents as it is easier to give in, rather than um "parent them".

[usualsuspect333]

Oh don't talk daft, Frogme.

Perfect parents all over the shop on this thread.

[Frogme]

There is more than a grain of truth in that statement. The toddler need to be told no. They won't because preshus little prince wants a go.