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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why my brother hasn't proposed to his gf yet?

232 replies

amibeingunreas · 22/12/2014 15:03

They have been together for about 5 1/2 years, they both want to get married one day as far as i can know.

We got married at 19 so perhaps i'm a bit bias but do you think 5 1/2 years is too long to just be 'in a relationship'?

they are 23 and 26.

J

OP posts:
DishwasherDogs · 22/12/2014 15:06

YABU.
MYOB.

They are still very young, perhaps they are happy being a couple without being married.

JeanneDeMontbaston · 22/12/2014 15:06

Sounds normal to me.

mswibble · 22/12/2014 15:07

I personally think that 19 is far too early to be married off. I'm a totally different person now at nearly 30 and my social circle is completely different, dread to think what my life would be like now if I had stuck with what I had then!
And I've been with my OH for nearly ten ... so YABU.

ProcrastinaRemNunc · 22/12/2014 15:07

Marriage isn't a prerequisite for a happy life or a LTR. YABU! Its their choice and a very personal one too.

magpieginglebells · 22/12/2014 15:07

We were together 11 years before we got engaged. We wanted to be stable in our careers, be debt free and in a position to buy a house before we got married.

RabidZombie · 22/12/2014 15:08

Maybe they don't really want to get married. They just let nosy relatives believe they do because its easier than answering "but...why not?"
You never know!

Bulbasaur · 22/12/2014 15:09

Me and DH were together for about 5-6 years before we got married.

I also had two relatives that were never married, and were eventually classed under common law marriage. They lived happily together until they died. I also have relatives that have been divorced and remarried 3 times.

amibeingunreas · 22/12/2014 15:09

They own a house etc. I know they both want to get married as they have expressed opinions on it etc. I think maybe the gf is embarrassed by it, especially as we were married so young.

OP posts:
Hurr1cane · 22/12/2014 15:10

I want to get married eventually, but not yet. I'm 26 and I love DP to bits but I have my disabled child to raise first and then I have to find a way to get back into work when he's at a point were he's not at hospital every other week.

IloveOreossx · 22/12/2014 15:10

Together 14yrs. Not married. JUDGE ME

Lj8893 · 22/12/2014 15:10

Why does it matter to you?

fairylightsonthetree · 22/12/2014 15:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsKoala · 22/12/2014 15:11

23-26 seems very young to me to be married and 19 is positively a baby! I was with ExH for 9 years before we got married - he was 27 and it was still too young for him really.

amibeingunreas · 22/12/2014 15:11

they are very traditional, would not have children before married, so this is why I don't understand it.

OP posts:
amibeingunreas · 22/12/2014 15:12

it doesn't matter to me really, it is just a bit embarrassing for the gf.

OP posts:
Fanfeckintastic · 22/12/2014 15:14

Why would she be embarrassed? They sound incredibly sensible, anyone I know who married at 19 in this day and age were far from sensible, didn't have houses, careers etc.

bloodyteenagers · 22/12/2014 15:14

Not that traditional if they are shacked up... Just saying.
Maybe they are married already.
Could have eloped. You never know.

Lj8893 · 22/12/2014 15:15

Whys it embarrassing for her?

amibeingunreas · 22/12/2014 15:15

Why does them living together make them not traditional? I didn't actually say they were living together anyway

OP posts:
mommy2ash · 22/12/2014 15:16

why are pushing your own assumptions on the issue. you are being both unreasonable and ridiculous. they are both young and im sure the age you were married at has no bearing on their life decisions.

SwedishEdith · 22/12/2014 15:17

They're very young to be thinking about children. And why should he propose and why would she have to wait for this? Marriage is a joint decision so adults should discuss it as such not sit around waiting for someone to propose. Confused

Fanfeckintastic · 22/12/2014 15:17

You said they own a house OP.

BreakingDad77 · 22/12/2014 15:17

Seems bit early, I think many people experience a lot of change in this period, I know I am quite a different person to who I was then. Nothing wrong with them hanging on as long they both on same page.

Letthemtalk · 22/12/2014 15:17

I've been with dp for almost 21 years. Engaged for more than 20 of those. Should I be embarrassed?

Fuckmath · 22/12/2014 15:17

Yabu

Why on earth should she be embarrassed

You sound really very weird

Perhaps you should butt out of their business

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