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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why my brother hasn't proposed to his gf yet?

232 replies

amibeingunreas · 22/12/2014 15:03

They have been together for about 5 1/2 years, they both want to get married one day as far as i can know.

We got married at 19 so perhaps i'm a bit bias but do you think 5 1/2 years is too long to just be 'in a relationship'?

they are 23 and 26.

OP posts:

SwedishEdith · 22/12/2014 15:40

What, exactly, did you Google? Actually, I don't care - this is one of those parallel universe threads.

Sparklingbrook · 22/12/2014 15:41

I don't really understand engagements I have to admit.

whitecandles · 22/12/2014 15:41

I cannot even imagine the miserable life I would have had for myself if I'd married the boyfriend I had at 19.

Maybe you were ready. I certainly wasn't. I'm 32 now and still not ready.

People are all different.

MrsKoala · 22/12/2014 15:41

Perhaps she's his beard? Or he's hers?

or it's a front for some kind of, er, dodgy, um, thing. There must be some kind of curious, intriguing, reason. I think you should investigate OP. Ask lots and lots of probing questions till you get to the truth

ProcrastinaRemNunc · 22/12/2014 15:42

Who's embarrassed/ embarrassing?

The young couple who will progress their healthy relationship, as, when, how and if they choose?

Or the IL, who appears to be undeservedly projecting all kinds of abstract, random issues onto that couple?

scallopsrgreat · 22/12/2014 15:43

If his GF is supposed to be embarrassed because you got married early and she feels 'left out', why would that not apply to your brother? Why does he not feel embarrassed about not being married?

PoinsettiaGordino · 22/12/2014 15:44

Dp and I got together as teenagers, have been together for ten years, own a house together, will probably get married and have children but no firm plans yet. Are people embarrassed for us? If so they can save their energy, we're fine. God I loathe this idea that the woman (me) must be hankering after an engagement ring and he's dodging being tied down. It's fucking depressing

Sparklingbrook · 22/12/2014 15:45

The OP is allowed to think about this. No projecting-they don't even know unless they are mind readers.

Blimey.

Original poster

amibeingunreas · 22/12/2014 15:45

Every single other couple in our family married under 20, so this is why it is noteworthy.

OP posts:

BackforGood · 22/12/2014 15:46

Lol at "Are you on glue"

OP YABU. It's none of your business, tbh.
However, as you asked, I'd say they are doing things in a pretty normal, typical way. It's unusual to be married at 19 - great, if it's worked for you, but it wouldn't be right for the vast majority of people, so I can't see how you make this jump to anyone being "embarrassed" about being sensible and content in a long term relationship without feeling the need to fix a wedding date

ilovesooty · 22/12/2014 15:46

What a strange thread. I can't imagine why she would feel "embarrassed" or "left out" or indeed why you would be so invested in this. It's none of your business and your comments sound immature and self absorbed.

Fanfeckintastic · 22/12/2014 15:46

You're as mad as a brush OP

ProcrastinaRemNunc · 22/12/2014 15:46

Not everyone holds marriage in quite the same (obsessive) esteem as you seem to, op. I, personally, would rather stick needles in my eyes than marry and no-one should ever marry because they 'feel left out'. I can't actually think of a worse reason!

BackforGood · 22/12/2014 15:46

x-posted, with that rather massive drip there.

Sparklingbrook · 22/12/2014 15:47

I thought 'are you on glue?' was a well know thing to say on MN.

Sparklingbrook · 22/12/2014 15:47

*known

SwedishEdith · 22/12/2014 15:47

Well, good for them for breaking away from this tradition.

ProcrastinaRemNunc · 22/12/2014 15:50

Sparklingbrook, are these the couples issues? No. Because the couple don't appear to have any issues. Therefore they are abstract projections on the part of the op.

Allowed to wonder? Maybe. Googling what could possibly be going on in the couples minds, due to a desperate need for understanding. Odd. Very odd indeed.

Fanfeckintastic · 22/12/2014 15:51

Ahh, are you a member of the travelling community OP?

Jackiebrambles · 22/12/2014 15:51

What an odd thread!

People don't tend to get married under 20 these days do they? Too many are still at uni/studying then. And weddings can be pricy!

I'm 37 and the youngest age my friends got married was 24. They were childhood sweethearts too.

Sparklingbrook · 22/12/2014 15:52

We have no idea whether the couple have any issues. neither does the OP.

PureMorning · 22/12/2014 15:55

I've been with do 13 years and got two kids.

Will never marry.don't believe metal and speech will keep us together forever.

We both have detailed wills so we are protected. Can never see the day when I want to marry him- or anybody

LittleBearPad · 22/12/2014 15:58

Why would it be embarrassing

Good user name by the way OP.

Mrsgrumble · 22/12/2014 15:58

Wierdest thread ever.

I take it, you want one of us to confirm and say its awful and embarassing??

In this day and age.. Er no.

ProcrastinaRemNunc · 22/12/2014 15:58

Sparklingbrook, quite! OP - MYOB.

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