To expect people to use my actual surname when sending us Xmas cards

[CantStopEatingCheese]

First AIBU post so be gentle!

Every year this gets to me. I am married but never changed my surname to DH's surname. Every year Christmas cards arrive with "Mr + Mrs DHSurname" on the envelope. I am not Mrs DHSurname, I am Mrs CantStopEatingCheese. I would expect cards addressed to "Mr DHSurname and Mrs CantStopEatingCheese". Is that too much to ask?

I can uderstand it coming from elderly relatives (for whom the concept might be alien). I can understand it from people who maybe don't know us very well (or only know DH and might not be aware of my surname). I can even understand cards addressed to "DHSurname Family" (both DCs have his surname so there are more of them than me). But from my own parents? Close friends of mine who've known me since before I got married? Is this not a bit weird?

Can I add that I come from a country where women don't change their name when getting married (there is no official way for achieving this) and that when this law was passed back in the 80's my mum changed her name back to her maiden name (my parents are still married).

Aw, Chipping. Don't worry, we all know that what really matters is that the electricity company knows and acknowledges a woman managed to catch herself a man. Don't worry about the naysayers.

OP: entirely with you. All the more annoying as I stick on the back of our envelopes address labels with my maiden surname on (I receive them from the charities I suppport) so everyone on my list should be reminded every year of my surname, in case they had forgotten. The most annoying thing is that my in laws, who know my views on the subject, do it every year. Particularly annoying as to me it says "Husband and Husband's chattel".

I have sometimes considered replying with a card signed from Minnie Mouse (another random name that does not describe me).

I have friends, family and work colleagues that still spell my first name wrong (and it's not particularly unusual). Doesn't bother me one bit.

The term 'pretentious' means you think people with PhDs are trying to pretend they're better than they are - but they're not, they're just using the title that denotes what they are, and I don't see why it's pretentious to be defined by what you do rather than whom you've married (or not).

The sense in 'pretentious' that there's an overblown claim to something more than that in using Dr rather than Miss/Mrs is all in your head because you obviously have an issue with PhDs.

I have been guilty of this in the past with sending cards to unmarried friends! However this year I decided to change! No idea why! Instead of writing Mr and Mrs Bloggs, where my friend was the female, I just wrote Jane Doe on the envelope and inside Dear Jane and Joe :-) Ta daaa! well chuffed with myself lol