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Original poster

To think that this is the most embarrassing thing to happen to anyone, ever?

231 replies

zaracharlotte · 14/12/2014 20:50

PIL's staying at ours this weekend. DH and I snuck off to our room whilst PIL were walking the dog.

Turns out, we thought they'd left the house when they hadn't. Cue MIL walking in our bedroom to ask where we keep the poo bags. I was squatting butt naked with DH's knob in my mouth whilst he leaned against the wardrobe.

So yeah, my MIL saw me giving her son a blow job.

Kill me now.

Please can someone cheer me up with your stories? MIL hasn't looked us in the eye since!

OP posts:
McFox · 14/12/2014 21:43

Ha ha that's brilliant but mortifying Smile

My DH said that you might feel better if I shared the incident where my mum said to me"oh you've got toothpaste on your face" and did that lick the finger to wipe dirt off your child thing that mums do. Only it wasn't toothpaste was it?! We'd just been surprised by my parents arrival home at a very inopportune moment!!

Boak!!

OldCatLady · 14/12/2014 21:44

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!

randomAXEofkindness · 14/12/2014 21:45

Really funny thread. Still laughing at "MIL moves like a ninja". Hahahaha.

Not very long ago, one of the kids grabbed my enormous forgotten dildo from under the sofa where MIL and FIL were sitting and waved it in MIL's face. I put a thread up about it: I truly have never felt embarrassment like it - or moved so quickly.

TheRtHonGeorgianaGobshite · 14/12/2014 21:45

Everything will have innuendo & remembrance for you from now on.
Innocent little remarks like "Oh lovely to see you, when are you coming again".
Every time your dog has a poo...

It'll take a while; and I very much doubt your DH will be getting another blow job anytime soon.
But you will get over it. It'll just take a long time.

CupidStuntSurvivor · 14/12/2014 21:46

Honestly, being walked in on by a person while you've got a mouth full of her son's cock is really up there on the list of 'kill me now'.

Are you planning on pretending it didn't happen or making a joke of it?

randomAXEofkindness · 14/12/2014 21:49

God, I hope they don't send you up to talk anyone down from a ledge RtHon Grin

CorporateRockWhore · 14/12/2014 21:49

We once had seriously loud sex at the ILs as we thought they had gone out.

They were in the next room. FIL is a Minister...Blush

WowserBowser · 14/12/2014 21:49

I kind of feel sorry for her! I bet she is so embarrassed as it was her error really - she shouldn't have walked in.

Go and see her! Break the ice.

So so so embarrassing though.

And i've been caught at it several times, just not in full glory.

TheRtHonGeorgianaGobshite · 14/12/2014 21:50

random Grin

Original poster
zaracharlotte · 14/12/2014 21:52

Pretend it never happened I think. Won't see them until Jan, I can play dumb can't i?

OP posts:
TooManyMochas · 14/12/2014 21:54

No it could have been worse.

He got have come a split second after MIL walked in.

You could have bit down on his cock in shock, necessitating an emergency trip to A & E.

It could have been bumsex.

TheRtHonGeorgianaGobshite · 14/12/2014 21:57

Yeah. That's right TooMany.
You could easily have bitten her son's cock off; instead all you did was give it a nice little lick.

Christmasshame · 14/12/2014 21:57

Okay OP, I will share this one. Have NC.

Two years ago we invited my parents for Christmas. Precisely to avoid your scenario we have a no-sex-under-the-same-roof-as-parents rule. So we had a last afternoon quickie a good hour before we were expecting them. Halfway through I heard a really familiar car engine outside. Then the doorbell rang. Our bedroom is at the top of the house - there was no way to get downstairs in a reasonable time and have them not know what we'd been up to.

To this day I have no idea why it was an excellent quickie, this is probably why, but we carried on whilst my parents continued to ring the doorbell Blush Eventually they stopped and sat in the car, we scrambled our clothes on and I answered my ringing mobile and pretended we'd been having a nap and not heard the bell.

Obviously they didn't believe us. For starters DP's face was flushed to high heaven and I had sex hair. To this day it still gives me and DP fits of the giggles.

Christmasshame · 14/12/2014 22:00

And I agree, it could have been worse. When I was in Year Nine a classmate turned up on Monday morning with a neck collar on. Teacher innocently asked her how she'd hurt herself and she grinned and said, "Wouldn't you like to know sir!" Turns out she'd got mild whiplash from being surprised mid-blowjob and someone pulling her off the bloke. This was corroborated by other people who'd been at the party. Teacher went bright red.

letsgetreadytoramble · 14/12/2014 22:01

Not on same scale of embarrassment, but in the height of a very hot, sleep deprived summer when DS was a small baby I would sleep naked most nights. One night while PIL were visiting I was in my usual exhausted deep sleep when the bawling baby woke me. I stumbled into his room, without a stitch on, picked him up and then heard a noise in the bathroom. My tired head told me it was my DH heading off to work, so I positioned myself outside the bathroom with DS clutched to me, waiting to say goodbye. Only it wasn't my DH who emerged was it - it was my FIL, resplendent in a pair of stripy boxer shorts. My tired brain literally couldn't compute who this person was, so I just stood there. As did he. Then I said, hello, and stumbled backwards into our bedroom. All I can say is thank god for the invention of baby sleeping bags, it kept most of the necessary parts covered up. MIL still teases me about it to this day.

Gileswithachainsaw · 14/12/2014 22:01

I once got caught having sex with someone I worked with. by some on else that I worked with Blush

also got walked in on by someone's house mate who incidently I also fuckin worked with .

Thank god I was on top and could hide under the duvet.

mortifiedbum · 14/12/2014 22:02

NC-

OP I'm not sure but I think I can beat that!

I'm 18, living at home with my bf who lives with us. Thought all family members bad left for afternoon out. I put on an outfit and now DH and I get down to it.

We move into "doggy" style position. And i hear the door swing open. DH leaps off of the bed faster than the speed of light the absolute fucker and leaves me ass up. (Which is framed by the frills of the dress)

It was my step dad. He'd stayed behind to start decorating and was getting the old sheets from under my bed.

I've never recovered from the shame.

Charitybelle · 14/12/2014 22:03

Sorry op, this is categorically the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to anyone...ever. My face is burning for you! I would stay in the bedroom until they leave tomorrow, and then avoid ever seeing them again, oh the shame! Blush

TheRtHonGeorgianaGobshite · 14/12/2014 22:04

Yup that's bad.

notenoughwine · 14/12/2014 22:05

I don't know why I don't spend more time here. It must be one of the funniest places on the Internet.

Oh my god McFox that toothpaste story has my dying, so your mum has actually touched your DH's......um, juices. LMAO

I don't even know whether I want to share.

Sunny67 · 14/12/2014 22:08

Oh you have so made my evening!!GrinGrin

Jessbun16 · 14/12/2014 22:08

DP's 15 yo brother walked in on us once, don't think it's quite as bad as yours but almost! DP was on top, bare arse facing the door Blush

DB said 'breakfast is ready' and left... It never got mentioned again!

Mintyy · 14/12/2014 22:10

Why? Don't you think your pil know you have sex?

Once again I'm failing to spot the hilarity.

And its a shame that not many people have been moved to "share" as requested.

Never mind, give it a few more hours and HQ will probably make this a Classic thread and share it on facebook.

MrsMarcJacobs · 14/12/2014 22:10

On the plus side, next time she'll knock!

bigbluestars · 14/12/2014 22:11

Same thing happened to me. Only FIL seemed v proud of his son, giving him "secret" winks.