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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave baby asleep with a working monitor whilst I go next door for Christmas drinks?

252 replies

PatButchersLostEaring · 12/12/2014 20:36

Really unsure if this is a bad idea so opinions please.

Baby 18 months sound asleep with monitor on and working. DH next door quaffing mulled wine and I plan to join him...... Maybe.

Is this ok?

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 12/12/2014 20:49

I was about to ask what the set up is. A large detached with big gardens in between, no. Terrace then yes.

But a flat is no different to being downstairs when the baby is upstairs surely?

If you have a working smoke alarm (and test it to be sure, hold a towel over it to mask the noise) and a working monitor then I would.

But I see that I am in the minority! I just take the view that if I was in the garden of a summers evening, sitting on the patio then I would be further away from my child than if I was next door, but somehow that is deemed ok as I am on my property!

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 12/12/2014 20:50

Yes. There are people with huge houses who would be further away. However I would hook up my iPad and iphone using a monitor app so I can see the baby. I wouldn't rely on listening alone.

Or just take baby too if they were Velcro ones like mine Hmm

Bulbasaur · 12/12/2014 20:51

It's not that something will happen, but if it does happen you'll both be charged with neglect for leaving a baby alone.

I really wouldn't. Especially as it's not a video monitor and you may not be able to tell the difference between quiet room static and no signal static.

Tallypet · 12/12/2014 20:51

I'd do it too

TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle · 12/12/2014 20:51

if its flats in the same building, how is it different from living in a bog house and leaving the DC asleep upstairs? I would probably do it, but I'd go back to check on them every 30mins and I'd hold the monitor in my hand. that said I doubt I'd relax so I'd go home after one drink....

Fixerupperz · 12/12/2014 20:52

I wouldn't do it but I think if you feel it's ok for you then why not.

TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle · 12/12/2014 20:52

living in a bog house? I'd definitely leave them if it was a bog house... *big.

PrimalLass · 12/12/2014 20:52

Flats in the same building, same floor? Absolutely fine but check every 15 minutes.

parakeet · 12/12/2014 20:53

I think logically, it's OK.

But personally I would be checking my monitor so much I wouldn't really be able to relax and enjoy myself. Can you not somehow take in the buggy or car seat?

Kaekae · 12/12/2014 20:53

Would never even consider leaving my baby alone.

Selinasupreme · 12/12/2014 20:53

Oh god no. How can anyone say that's ok? Isn't that illegal?

TaytoCrisp · 12/12/2014 20:54

Theoretically it should be ok. But I would probably not in case you did not hear it. I would take it in turn to pop in for a drink.

DustOffYourHighestHopes · 12/12/2014 20:55

Nope. Wouldn't do it myself.

arethereanyleftatall · 12/12/2014 20:55

It's different because there is a locked door between you. It's different because a burglar could get in to your house without you knowing, as you're not in, and be in your child's room before you hear them on the monitor. Unlikely, yes, worth taking the risk for, never.

Ragwort · 12/12/2014 20:57

I would, and have done, & know other people who do, but I would never ask anyone's opinion on Mumsnet about it Grin.

bialystockandbloom · 12/12/2014 20:57

I think not too. It's not about proximity, it's about being able to see your house from where you are, IMO. If you were in your garden even if the same number of metres away, you'd still be able to see your house. But you couldn't if you were next door/above/below. Sorry. Next time get your neighbours to give you some notice so you can get a babysitter and both go!

Fabulous46 · 12/12/2014 20:58

It's not something I would have done.

XmasTimeMammariesandWine · 12/12/2014 20:59

I wouldn't. Monitors can be a bit unreliable.

Plus neighbours could see and report you. Plus it's illegal.

alsmutko · 12/12/2014 21:00

Take the baby with you!

notagainffffffffs · 12/12/2014 21:01

There is a poster on here who was permanently scarred rescuing her baby sibling from a terrace house fire- her dad was a couple of houses away with a monitor but couldnt hear the flames.
So no.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 12/12/2014 21:02

A friend who lived in Switzerland for a while, told me that there it's considered perfectly acceptable to pop down the pub leaving your baby tucked up at home alone. Now I wouldn't go that far, but I might pop to the flat next door for half an hour.

RollTheBallRollTheBall · 12/12/2014 21:02

No way would I do that, I couldn't relax.

LadyCassandra · 12/12/2014 21:04

If it's a flat and its next door, do it. We used to do this all the time, check every 15 mins or so.

FATEdestiny · 12/12/2014 21:04

In Friends when Rachel had a baby, she was often across the corridor in Joey and Chandlers apartment with baby monitor in hand.

So it's evidently OK for the cast of Friends... Hmm

BikeRunSki · 12/12/2014 21:04

No. I once went to a street party outside my house when the dc (5, 2) were sound asleep, and got a letter from social services about it. I was closer to my front door tgan if I'd bern in the garden.

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