To leave baby asleep with a working monitor whilst I go next door for Christmas drinks?

[PatButchersLostEaring]

Really unsure if this is a bad idea so opinions please.

Baby 18 months sound asleep with monitor on and working. DH next door quaffing mulled wine and I plan to join him...... Maybe.

Is this ok?

And people are probably judging you too, Pishedorf, for all sorts of things you do and don't do.

Why I'm sure they are judging MrsMcColl. I've been judged plenty. But I can put my hand on heart and say anything I have ever done as a parent has been with good intention and with my child's best interest at heart. When I make a mistake I learn from it. I cannot see how leaving a young child alone in a residence so you could socialise with alcohol involved regardless of time frame has that child's best interest at heart or good intentions from the parent! And no I'm not a martyr to my child, I'm not sitting at my child's bedside having palpitations every night. However I wouldn't leave my child alone in a residence to I could go and have a drink for half an hour next door. IMO it's bad parenting to do that :)

One of the 'mainstream' Madeleine McCann theories is that she was wandering the apartment, climbed on the sofa to look out of the window and fell onto a tiled floor.
If that was the case she would have lived if her parents had been there in the flat

I've done similar, having assessed the risk to my children, and don't regret it.

TooHasty - firstly, that is not a mainstream theory. That is a whacky theory which then goes on to assume that her parents instead of being struck by horror at the sight of their daughter's dead body on their return instead concocted a devious plan to dispose of her body, in a place they did not know well, so thoroughly it has never been found. And then instigated a huge media campaign, thus increasing the chances of their deception being discovered.

However, even if that WERE the case, there is nothing to say your second statement is true either. Even if she had climbed on something and fell, hitting her head and dying, it is possible that would have happened even if her parents were there.

In short - you are talking bollocks.

Doesnt beat you, called last night :o

Someone already had bingo.

Mentalists.

Take a breath everyone.

NRTFT but I hope you haven't been flamed OP. my DD is the same age and I wouldn't do it. 99.9999% chance nothing will happen but that 0.01% could be something tragic. Sorry! Get your DH to get his back to yours so you can have some neighbourly time

OP, don't be a dick just because people said you were BU...

...in an 'AIBU.'
In case you've missed the point of AIBU, it is to get advice/ a new perspective on things. You clearly made your mind up from the get-go.

(To the posters who said 'bingo' re Madeleine McCann being mentioned as a reason not to leave a child alone... doesn't that erm, mean you also thought it? )

No it means that whenever any mentions anything such as this on MN someone will always say "Think of Madeline McCann!" despite the two situations being totally different.

THe biggest risk to children (outside of illness, accident and/or having been born with life-limiting conditions) is that their male relatives will rape or murder them. Small children are statistically much safer from sexual abuse and violent assault if they are left alone than if they are in a house with an adult male relative. So the OP's baby is actually safer sleeping in his/her cot with both parents next door having a drink than s/he would be if the OP's H was in the house without the OP.

I can think of a couple of genuinely credible risks (as opposed to the 'baby monitor being used by Spectre' nonsense).

1. Child wakes alone & is distressed. That's what the monitor's for - just as effective next door as two floors away in a big house.

1. Child wakes, climbs out of cot & has accident - once you're out of the room, never mind the house, you aren't really safeguarding against that one.

3.. House fire - yes, horrible nightmarish thought. But approx 300 fatalities (all ages) a year relative to approx 2000 in RTAs, for example. & the vast majority of house fire fatalities have a clearly attributable cause (cigarettes, candles, open fires) & affect middle-aged/elderly adults. Only 21 of these deaths in 2012 were children U16, for example. It really is vanishingly unlikely that your house will catch fire & kill your toddler whilst he's asleep in bed & you're briefly next door, unless you're daft enough to leave a chip pan heating up, smouldering fag butts or lit candles unattended.

4.. Child might be harmed by an evilly-intentioned person - as SGB says, that's far more likely to be the babysitter/your family member/your partner, sadly, than an opportunistic intruder who has somehow deduced that you're not within the bounds of the property. Plus, it's silly magical thinking to assume they'll strike if you're next door with an eggnog but wouldn't dream of it if you're three floors away in a big house.

I don't think that this means that we should all fling ourselves into nightly partying whilst leaving teeny children to fend for themselves, but equally I don't think that it's fair to chuck around accusations of irresponsibility, when statistically, being left to sleep Home Alone with mum carousing with the neighbours, is a much lower risk activity for a small child than getting into his parents' car to be driven to nursery.

I did it once and regretted it. I wouldn't do it again.

Why what happened Darkandstormy?

For all the people who would never do this, would you leave your baby asleep while you were in the garden with a monitor? What about being in another room, or two floors away in a large house?

My cousin used to do this on a regular basis 40 years ago, and only got a sitter (me) if they were going out of range of the monitor. I was a bit shocked, but her daughter lived to tell the tale.

I would love to know where all these mythical social workers are who will come and investigate 'issues'. I had a genuine concern a few months ago which I tried to report to Social Service, no one seemed at all interested, I go the third degree in questions about the situation (not that I minded) and nothing at all was investigated. .

Similarly a young parent I know, (one child already in care) receives no help/support/visits from anyone 'in authority' despite the possibility of her second and third children being at risk.

So the thought that someone would be investigated for nipping next door to have a swift drink with a neighbour actually makes me laugh - and yes, I have done it myself.

Your an idiot if you think social services are non existent.

Ragwort what makes you think someone you reported or whatever wasn't investigated? It could well have been,you just weren't told.

Oh and if you think the other examples kids are at risk I suggest you do something about it.Just because she has one child in care -the eldest- does not mean the others are now at risk or ever were or that her eldest was ever at risk from her either.

TripTrap - I know because the questioning didn't even get as far as asking for the personal details of the child involved - thankfully I did find out, via another source, that this particular child was no longer living in the unsafe situation so hopefully it had only been a temporary arrangement - albeit a very unsatisfactory one.

Not sure why your comments are so defensive towards me? Perhaps where you live social service do give better support but I can only speak from my own experience and I see an awful lot of 'concerns' having to be mopped up by the voluntary sector and/or well meaning friends and relatives as the statutory services are suffering from so many cutbacks etc.

WUME of course I know Social Services exist, it's just that the chance of them visiting someone in this example seems highly unlikely when so many more serious cases are being ignored.

I'm not being defensive.I'm merely trying to point out that the actions of social services generally aren't known to others.Social services,if the opera had been reported,would have visited.Heck,I even remember someone on nethuns doing it,someone on there reporting her and her getting a letter and visit!It does happen.And leaving a baby alone,especially for the purpose to go and drink with friends,is NOT the kind of behaviour that makes you look like a responsible parent.

Btw if you report someone again Ragwort give the families details first.If you were being questioned I wonder what happened Normally,if you report you tell them what is going on,any questions from them tend to be minimal in my experience.

TooHasty - firstly, that is not a mainstream theory. That is a whacky theory

It is the Portuguese police theory.Although the McCann team like to paint them as some incompetent Johnny foreigner key stone cops, were actually the primary investigators.This theory was backed up by the sniffer dogs which the British Police brought in.

This thread is amusing.

This thread is amusing. I'm getting popcorn.