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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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I just got punched. in front of my three and four year old.

310 replies

Faultysingledad · 07/12/2014 15:24

I'll start at the beginning. I popped to the supermarket to buy some bits and bobs for a meal that me and my boys are preparing for some family visitors tonight. I had my boys with me as I'm a single dad. We went in and got the boys and bobs that we needed. My lads are good, but we're starting to get a little bit fractious towards the end, as it was pre Christmas busy. We went back to the car and loaded up. No issues. As I was driving out, I realised that I'd forgotten the cream for making my potato gratin. No big deal, we spun round parked up again and I started to get the lads out. They didn't want to go in again. No problem. They are good lads and obedient, and understand the meaning of a promise. I asked them if they would like to stay in the car whilst I ran in to the shop. They eagerly agreed. I told them that they must stay in their seats, and that they could read their books or play with their toys. They are both sticklers for rules, so I had every confidence that this is what would happen for the couple of minutes that I would be out of sight. So car alarm internal sensors deactivated, doors deadlocked and kids happy, that's what happened. And when I returned 2-3 minutes later, that's exactly how I found them, happily reading books to each other. Everything was fine, until some bloke came and angrily pulled open my door and started yelling at me. Now I KNOW that this is a controversial subject, and that lots of people would have condemned my actions as neglectful, but respectfully, that's their opinion, which isn't born out by facts or law. I'm a fairly thoughtful bloke, but I've got some quite strong opinions about this nanny state, risk averse society that is increasingly prevalent. I've already considered this whole issue, and I'm very aware that this is an issue that has been done to death on mumsnet, and I'm also aware that my opinion is against the majority opinion these days. Anyway, I digress. The bloke that opened my car door was aggressive and shouty. I didn't get a chance to put my thoughts about risks vs benefits, or the fact that more kids get run over and killed in busy car parks than get abducted from cars, or that it was my parenting decision and none of his business, I just told him to go away. He said he was going to call the police, I said be my guest, I'd done nothing illegal. I told him to go away again, he punched me. My kids were screaming in fear at this point. It was all a bit of a blur to be honest. Shortly afterwards I managed to get my door shut and drive away.

My problem is, I don't know what to do now. Normally it would obviously be to report it to the police, but to be honest, I can't be doing with all the hand wringing and questions asked about my parenting. I should imagine that there's quite a risk that the police would report me to social services at the very least, and I don't need the stree, even though I would wholeheartedly defend my decision making process. Plus, I have no idea of this blokes identity.

Should I just chalk it up to experience and try to forget about it? That's my current plan, but I'm always inclined to bury my head in the sand about stuff anyway, and it's not always the best course of action. The most distressing thing about the whole thing is that it's obviously deeply upset my boys, who keep asking about the 'horrible man.'

Thoughts?

OP posts:
CornChips · 07/12/2014 21:40

Matterhorn and Mattercliffe.

Mmm..... bit much. Horncliffe?

CornChips · 07/12/2014 21:41

We really ought to ask this thread to be moved to babynames.

It would be a social service in itself.

Bettercallsaul1 · 07/12/2014 21:48

Are you saying that something's the matter with my twin names, Chips?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 07/12/2014 21:48

Heathhorn and Mattercliffe.

Sounds like a legal firm

CornChips · 07/12/2014 21:50

No no no, not at all [backs away from better flapping hands]

Grin
Fairenuff · 07/12/2014 21:54

I'm surprised the gammon didn't spontaneously combust tbh.

Xmas Wink
dirkdiggler1 · 07/12/2014 21:57

What an absolute twat. Hopefully next time he'll pick on someone like me. He'll probably regret it once he's on the floor having his head stamped on.

Bettercallsaul1 · 07/12/2014 21:57

Be careful, Chips, I'm holding a bunch of grapes and I'm not afraid to use them.

culturemulcher · 07/12/2014 22:26
Grin
MiscellaneousAssortment · 08/12/2014 02:32
  1. Glad you're ok
  2. Theoretically, definitely call police
  3. Reality is though, don't call
  4. Try boulangere potatoes next time (uses milk/stock mixture not cream - tis gorgeous)
  5. BEWARE THE TRODDEN GRAPE
Faultysingledad · 08/12/2014 08:31

I'd just like to clarify; the plastic was the bit around the edge of the gammon that keeps it all together whilst cooking; it IS meant robe left on while you cook it, lol. I didn't just peel the label off and bung it in the oven. My error was not spotting the membrane and subsequently basting it...

OP posts:
Bettercallsaul1 · 08/12/2014 08:59

There's nothing like a bit of basted membrane to enhance a dish, I find.

WillkommenBienvenue · 08/12/2014 09:05

Proof that men should never be left alone in charge of packaged gammon.

And fancy menus and young children don't go together. You put the fancy on hold for a few years that way you appreciate it more when you get there later on. Nobody wants their friend put their childrens lives at risk for the sake of lunch.

Bettercallsaul1 · 08/12/2014 09:13

Just think if there'd been grapes involved in the menu, though - it could have been a whole-family tragedy.

IbizaLovesSundays · 13/11/2018 03:02

Try growing up. In Northern Ireland in the 1970/80s. If your parents drove the car into town they HAD to leave kids in the car or it would be a 'bomb threat' no cars were allowed to be unattended in any city, town or village centre in the troubles.... So you either brought your mam or your kids to sit in the car while you did the shopping!

AllyMcBeagle · 13/11/2018 03:06

@IbizaLovesSundays Try not resurrecting threads which haven't been posted on for 4 years!!

🧟‍♀️ ZOMBIE 🧟‍♂️

IbizaLovesSundays · 13/11/2018 03:42

#newtomumsnet... Try not to be so fucking judgemental

AllyMcBeagle · 13/11/2018 03:47

Hmm, someone starts posts with "Try growing up" and then complains about others being judgmental. OK...

🧟‍♀️ ZOMBIE 🧟‍♂️

steff13 · 13/11/2018 03:59

You have posts under this username back to July, 2017. #notthatnew

PenelopeFlintstone · 13/11/2018 04:03

@atoughyear - I feel so sorry for people who have traumatic experiences, come on her for support then get called liars sad
You're nice Smile

Grrrrrrt · 13/11/2018 04:24

#newtomumsnet...

No you're not Confused

Ffiffime · 13/11/2018 04:43

I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong. My kids are the same age, I know them and I’ve left them in the car for a few mins while I pop into a shop. I also agree with you about the risk averse society and nannny state. The risk of leaving your kids for a few mins is so low and you’re right, they’re more likely to get hurt leaving the car.
However, I’ve read stories about social services getting involved, wanting to remove kids etc so it’s unlikely I’d call the police for this reason.

AllyMcBeagle · 13/11/2018 04:54

🧟‍♀️ ZOMBIE 🧟‍♂️

Alilwolf · 13/11/2018 05:22

I like zombie threads reappearing for no reason (other than car bombs). It's like a flashback to old times. So the two neglected kids are 7 & 8 now. I wonder how they're doing? Scarred?

PenelopeFlintstone · 13/11/2018 05:24

Oh, bugger....sorry Blush.

ZOMBIE.......

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