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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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I just got punched. in front of my three and four year old.

310 replies

Faultysingledad · 07/12/2014 15:24

I'll start at the beginning. I popped to the supermarket to buy some bits and bobs for a meal that me and my boys are preparing for some family visitors tonight. I had my boys with me as I'm a single dad. We went in and got the boys and bobs that we needed. My lads are good, but we're starting to get a little bit fractious towards the end, as it was pre Christmas busy. We went back to the car and loaded up. No issues. As I was driving out, I realised that I'd forgotten the cream for making my potato gratin. No big deal, we spun round parked up again and I started to get the lads out. They didn't want to go in again. No problem. They are good lads and obedient, and understand the meaning of a promise. I asked them if they would like to stay in the car whilst I ran in to the shop. They eagerly agreed. I told them that they must stay in their seats, and that they could read their books or play with their toys. They are both sticklers for rules, so I had every confidence that this is what would happen for the couple of minutes that I would be out of sight. So car alarm internal sensors deactivated, doors deadlocked and kids happy, that's what happened. And when I returned 2-3 minutes later, that's exactly how I found them, happily reading books to each other. Everything was fine, until some bloke came and angrily pulled open my door and started yelling at me. Now I KNOW that this is a controversial subject, and that lots of people would have condemned my actions as neglectful, but respectfully, that's their opinion, which isn't born out by facts or law. I'm a fairly thoughtful bloke, but I've got some quite strong opinions about this nanny state, risk averse society that is increasingly prevalent. I've already considered this whole issue, and I'm very aware that this is an issue that has been done to death on mumsnet, and I'm also aware that my opinion is against the majority opinion these days. Anyway, I digress. The bloke that opened my car door was aggressive and shouty. I didn't get a chance to put my thoughts about risks vs benefits, or the fact that more kids get run over and killed in busy car parks than get abducted from cars, or that it was my parenting decision and none of his business, I just told him to go away. He said he was going to call the police, I said be my guest, I'd done nothing illegal. I told him to go away again, he punched me. My kids were screaming in fear at this point. It was all a bit of a blur to be honest. Shortly afterwards I managed to get my door shut and drive away.

My problem is, I don't know what to do now. Normally it would obviously be to report it to the police, but to be honest, I can't be doing with all the hand wringing and questions asked about my parenting. I should imagine that there's quite a risk that the police would report me to social services at the very least, and I don't need the stree, even though I would wholeheartedly defend my decision making process. Plus, I have no idea of this blokes identity.

Should I just chalk it up to experience and try to forget about it? That's my current plan, but I'm always inclined to bury my head in the sand about stuff anyway, and it's not always the best course of action. The most distressing thing about the whole thing is that it's obviously deeply upset my boys, who keep asking about the 'horrible man.'

Thoughts?

OP posts:
Altinkum · 07/12/2014 19:43

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thornrose · 07/12/2014 19:44

Were you in a Parent and child parking space though OP? Grin It would've shortened that scary walk across the treacherous car park. Wink

WillkommenBienvenue · 07/12/2014 19:44

So how is the injury tonight? I hope it was steak you were cooking with the potato gratin.

atoughyear · 07/12/2014 19:45

Glad you're ok . You seem like a pretty nice guy. It's unfair that something so horrendous happened to you.

Faultysingledad · 07/12/2014 19:50

Gratin was bloody lovely Grin

OP posts:
Faultysingledad · 07/12/2014 19:53

Gammon joint was annoying though; I did a lovely mustard and demerara voting for it, but didn't realise there was an outer plastic layer around it... Oh well

OP posts:
FrauHelgaMissMarpleandaChuckle · 07/12/2014 19:53

I actually did see a spontaneously combusting car. In 1989 in a works car park. It was a mini metro and it burned the paint off the cars around it too.

Altinkum · 07/12/2014 19:54

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WankingInAWinterWonderland · 07/12/2014 20:03

Glad you are okay OP.

what a bizarre thread

BramwellBrown · 07/12/2014 20:04

Not sure about grapes though; I never factored them into my dynamic risk assessment process

You might want to add them in, I don't know anyone that's knocked themselves out tripping on a grape but my sister bit through her tongue slipping on one in lidls when she was about 8, she got given a huge tin of quality street by the manager.

LurcioAgain · 07/12/2014 20:23

Loving Sparklecrate's suggestion (I can see you revving up the wood chipper as I type). Anyway, what a horrible experience OP - I feel so sorry for you. I dunno how I'd of called that particular situation - leaving children of 3 and 4 - but I do sometimes leave DS (nearly seven) in the house for five minutes while I get a pint of milk (mumsnetreceived wisdom is that you should under no circumstances leave them unattended below the age of eighteen and three quarters). But like you, I'm a single parent and sometimes five minutes of CBBC on his own (he is a very sensible child) versus twenty minutes of getting him ready and trailing him round seems like a good trade off.

Babiecakes11 · 07/12/2014 20:28

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DixieNormas · 07/12/2014 20:29

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DixieNormas · 07/12/2014 20:32

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Goldmandra · 07/12/2014 21:03

I'm glad I've given some people a giggle about cars spontaneously combusting and I completely agree that the OP's DCs were far more likely to be knocked over while walking across the car park Smile

However, I still couldn't contemplate taking the admittedly very small risk of my children dying in screaming agony deadlocked inside a ball of flame while I nipped off to buy a newspaper or a pot of cream.

It is quite possible that my experience is a bit of a blip but my friend used to regularly leave her baby to sleep in the car that went up in flames. Luckily, that day she hadn't.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 07/12/2014 21:06

Lurcio..I. am not judging you. I was home alone regularly at 11 and was fine. But I genuinely wouldn't make it widely known you leave a 6 year old home alone as people have been prosecuted in UK for that.

Bettercallsaul1 · 07/12/2014 21:07

So can we conclude that all's well that ends well then? (That will please OliviaMN Grin).

CornChips · 07/12/2014 21:22

I wanted to post only to say that I hope you are okay OP, and you say you have no visible bruises, so hope that means you are not too injured/sore.

But, seriously........ you left the plastic on the gammon ?????!!!!!

Grin Thanks
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 07/12/2014 21:24

actually sorry Lurcio. I spoke out of turn there. None of my business. I spoke out of kindness not judginess though.

It does always seem to me that the MN rule is its OK to leave v young kids alone rather than the opposite, just a mattercliffe of perspective.

I can't even leave my 8 year old in her room alone tbh, wish I could.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 07/12/2014 21:25

No idea where mattercliffe came from. Strange phone

fuctifino · 07/12/2014 21:25

Crikey Moses, was the gammon edible op?

Sorry but that made me sniggering, plastic coating Grin

Glad you're not injured.

minklundy · 07/12/2014 21:29

Mattercliffe...bet that appears in baby names soon as brother for Benjamin and Florence suggestion Grin
Waits to be flamed by someone with kids called Benjamin, Florence and Mattercliffe.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 07/12/2014 21:33

It does have a certain ring to it..very upper class Grin

Bettercallsaul1 · 07/12/2014 21:34

, Mattercliffe - yes, nice variation on Heathcliff, for the romantically inclined. Grin

Bettercallsaul1 · 07/12/2014 21:38

Perhaps teamed with Matterhorn, if twins?