Attempted rape at university (sensitive)

[CanadianPacific]

Due to the very sensitive nature of this post I have name-changed (sorry) but I really need to chat this through. I'm not sure whether AIBU is actually the right place for this either but I am hoping for traffic.

My daughter is in her first year at a London University. She is in uni accommodation with 100's of others (all split between several buildings on same campus).

On her floor there are approx. 18 students with a male/female split.

They all seem like a very friendly and sociable bunch with no real issues until recently.

One of the male students has become more and more aggressive towards the female students and there have been a lot of misogynistic comments etc. A few of the female students have said that they feel very uncomfortable around him and some of the male students have approached him about his behaviour.

Over the past few weeks however, things have escalated. He accompanied one girl back to her room and attempted to rape her. She managed to defend herself and get him off and he left.

Other girls have reported that he would try to escort them back to their rooms and he seemed to pick out those that had been drinking heavily.

When challenged, he became very aggressive.

This has now been reported to the college and they seem to have acted very quickly. All of the students involved were asked to provide written statements (including my DD and several male students who have witnessed some of his behaviour).

He has been spoken to by the staff and tomorrow he will be moved out of this accommodation into a nearby block (on the same campus).

The girl who he attempted to rape has received a lot of support but has been told by the college that if she reports the attempted rape to the police and he is subsequently found 'not guilty' (which is likely as it's her word against his) then she could find herself expelled from the university.

So she has decided not to report it

I'm sure that the college have/are doing all they can but I feel so uneasy about this.

I think it's appalling that she is being threatened with expulsion.

He is now going to be moved into a new accommodation block with female students who no doubt, will be unaware of his reputation.

My DD and the other female students do not feel safe

I'm not really sure what I am asking here, I just feel very uncomfortable with the outcome but genuinely don't know what else the college can do.

Given the number of people who have reported his behaviour, don't they have enough to expel him and deport him back to his home country?

Your calm and reasoned thoughts please x

Jeanne, I suspect someone has said that even if it is not official university policy. At the very least that person needs to be told not to give advice. I've witnessed dubious advice coming out of the mouths of university staff, not all that unbelievable... though of course this all needs clearing up

Perhaps the girl should arrange a meeting with someone to discuss the fact that shd will be reporting it to police, and asking what pastoral support they will put in place for her, particularly since it happened on their premises and they have gathered some evidence amd taken action. Then she will definitely get to hear the uni's position; if they support her and the expulsion threat was crossed wires, great. If theh repeat the threat, take it from there.

I know it's a police matter - but students always expect "the university' to sort out stuff that happens on campus or in halls of residence. Perhaps this needs to change. It's hard for us as university staff to change it though, as it would sound like us saying "don't bother us when you've been sexually assaulted, we're not interested, call the police instead".

OP, a senior person in accommodation services is NOT the right person to be giving this kind of advice, and neither is a counsellor!

Name and shame them.

Actually, yes, do name and shame - I can probably then PM you with a suggestion of the right person to contact. Or PM me.

Yes, katee, that is what worries me too. That someone has spread this ridiculous scaremongering and the girls have no idea how seriously to take it.

Thank you bluestocking I'm just wait for DD to clarify which staff departments have become involved. It would be really helpful to know that so that we can look at other options xxx

I don't think you should name and shame on the thread publically, it's a very sensitive and current issue, and the people involved could easily be identified. It's not fair on them. It's of no benefit to the thread for the uni to be made public on mumsnet.

I don't want to mention it on here but i'll pm you bluestocking

I really do appreciate everyones advice, thank you xx

Agree with Katee and Jeanne - I hate the thought that someone has been scaring these female students with the notion that they can't report a serial sexual predator for fear of expulsion - that is so, so wrong.

The student who has been assaulted should speak to the police!!
No don't see why the student needs to be talking to the right person at the uni

It's a crime. The right people are the police.

Naming and shaming on here might not be safe for the girls. Just thinking.

So can I just clarify, are the Uni wrong to say that could expel her if she reports to police and he is found not guilty.

Could they actually expel her on the grounds of harassment, given that they know the circumstances.

Before all this happened I would have said with absolute certainty that they could NOT do this.

But now I'm not so sure

Blue yes sorry x posted you are right re police. Your points are spot on.

I'm definitely not going to name the University. It's an RG London Uni, that is all.

She should indeed speak to police, but she also needs the right people at the uni because

A) if the police do their job they will probably involve the uni
B) the girl (and her flatmates/friends) need additional pastoral support, possibly counselling, and reassurance that the university will keep them safe and
C) so that, hopefully, someone can clear up the thing about being expelled for harassing the male student if he is found not guilty. Hopefully this was just said by someone misguided; if the uni stands by it and touts it as policy, then they have bigger problems.

I would imagine that technically they can expel anyone they like and make up whatever spurious reason. that she has been effectively threatened like this.

They are getting way ahead of themselves to even consider a not guilty at court. What do they propose to do if there isn't enough evidence to even prosecute? Doesn't mean it didn't happen, just might not be enough evidence to proceed.

Unless it was proven she had made a malicious allegation, it's hard how on earth they could justify expelling her.

The more I think about it, what a mad thing for them to say. Let's just hope it's crossed wires.

I think she would do well to consult a solicitor and, if they think it advisable, get the lawyer to write to the University deploring their stance on this and saying that if this guy should actually do something in future, they had been warned by their client (i.e. your DD) and the Uni would have to bear the consequences.

Flags up that your DD takes this seriously and puts the Uni on the spot if they are trying to sweep it under the carpet.

It is wrong on so many levels. She should be able to report the crime without fear of expulsion. Why the hell is he being moved to a different block with female students . Uni should be supporting her and he should not be allowed to live in halls.

Good idea Toby, she should get legal advice.

Threatening to expel for pursuing a complaint against the cretin? Disgusting, worthy of a lawsuit in itself.

Name and Shame - why should a potential rapist been shielded by a University. This is disgusting. I want to know which university so I don't send my kids there!