AIBU - how little partner pays towards dc

[Bunnystopper]

I have a 4 month old dc with my partner, I also have an older dc that has no contact with her dad and I have raised/supported single handed!

Myself and bf do not live together, but he stays at my place half the week, he does not contribute to my household but whilst here eats, uses gas/elec/water etc!

Since our dc has been born he has given me no money towards her upkeep, he has brought most but not all of her formula and 4 packs of nappies, I have brought all our dc Xmas presents except one toy for £6 that he brought.

My income has gone down (SMP) and my bills habe gone up because I'm home most the time during the day so spending more heating/electric ect!

AIBU to think that this is a little unfair and that instead of making a huge deal out of 1 box of formula he buys when we are out shopping he should be giving me a little something weekly/monthly towards the upkeep of our dc do I don't have to feel like I'm having to ask him to please buy milk?

AF this thread has depressed and angered me in equal measure.

Proof that we still have a long way to go

So Numbers:

I just think people should take responsibilities for their own actions and choices.
AND
I do not agree with abortion

How do these statements correlate exactly? You didn't say 'I support a woman's right to choose but it's not for me'. You said 'I DO NOT AGREE WITH ABORTION'.

Taking all your posts into account, I'm trying to knit together your thought trajectory here.

A woman shouldn't get pregnant in the first place obviously (unless it's planned and agreed) but if she does, that's her fault because contraceptive failure rarely happens. In most cases, where women 'accidentally' conceive, women are tricking men into becoming fathers by lying about their contraception.

Women shouldn't have abortions because there's no such thing as accidental conception.

In the event where a baby is conceived and the woman decides to go ahead with the pregnancy and give birth, if the man is not an enthusiastic father from the outset, the woman shouldn't ask him to contribute to the cost of raising that child.

I think that's about the size of it.

Going with a friend to have an abortion means jackshit incidentally.

Oddfod i would love to hear the friends side of it.

I agree with WooWoo on this it's a stance I've always had.

But I think we've digressed somewhat and this isn't productive for the OP who needs help

God this is depressing and boring! I can't even be bothered to keep reading!

Thank you to all of you who offered advise and support.

I'm checking out of this thread now

bunny I hope you found something useful from this mess of a thread, hope you manage to get it sorted. Good luck to you and your family.

Best friend - why would I guilt trip her? I went to support her. At one point I had to reassure her she was doing the right thing.

But hold up, why the fuck am I explaining myself to you bunch of bullying, assuming and nasty man haters?

But hold up, why the fuck am I explaining myself to you bunch of bullying, assuming and nasty man haters?

Because you've hi-jacked someone else's thread and derailed it to follow your own unhelpful agenda?

I love men especially ones with nice smiles

I've not read this whole thread. But I think you have to get payment on a formal basis. That is a fixed sum each week or month rather than this casual paying for bits and pieces when he feels like it. If he's not prepared to do that then go to the CSA. If he stays at your house then of course he should contribute as well as maintenance for the baby. Work out what you think is a fair sum and say please pay me £x each week.

And woowoo - you seem to have a very warped view of responsibility. If a woman is left raising a child on her own, isn't she being responsible?

That depends. I don't think it's responsible to bring a child into the world if you can't afford to support them without relying on other people, or relying on a partner who said they would prefer the baby to be aborted.

A woman can be responsible by having a child on her own, without the fathers emotional or financial support, but that depends on whether she has support for herself and whether or not she can afford to have a child.

A woman raising a child alone does not automatically mean they are being responsible, not at all.

I love men too Sock Have a thing for male feminists especially. And a nice smile is a bonus

Hi I was wondering if anyone had any advice about an ex husband who regularly sees his son but refuses to financially contribute to things he needs. I receive £100/month from him for son based loosely on CSA recommendations but they expect us both to contribute equally to things such as clothes and clubs which he does not. How do I get him to contribute? We’re talking winter coat from charity shop and thermal vests nothing excessive. Ps I’ve lost my job recently due to health and on UC, he is in full time managerial role!

Popco you’ll probably get more useful responses if you start your own thread. Otherwise you’ll get loads of people commenting on the situation in the OP from 4 years ago

I’m afraid I’ve no useful advice but hopefully others will do!

Thanks, I’m still trying to work out how this works