These things annoy me, but can't admit out loud without sounding like a w*****

[1wokeuplikethis]

Not exactly 'oh I won euromillions and have too much money' but the following things really annoy me and I can't tell anyone for fear of sounding like a total douche;

1. my legs are too thin. They aren't knobbly twigs, they've got a great shape but are probably a size 6 while my waist is a 12 so any jeans that fit my amazing legs won't do up and I need to let my belly hang free.

2. my expensive Clarins hand cream is shite.

3. I spent £40 on an amazing lancome toner only to realise after opening that it's the wrong one. So I had to spend £20 on the one I meant to buy.

4. after losing 4 stone in the last year none of my winter coats fit and I can't afford a new one -because I spend all my money on ridiculously expensive toiletries- so I basically look like a winter turkey with my giant coat and stick legs.

Am I allowed to be annoyed by the above? Am I alone in my self indulgent tragedies?

Yes you are allowed to be annoyed and I have the same problem with the legs although I'm fatter than you. Size 12 legs with size 16 belly, even when I was thin I had size 6 legs with Size 10 waist. There isn't anything you can do about it eithe you just have to accept that your clothes will never fit you properly.

I have two bathrooms and I find it such a pain to keep them both clean.

Clarins hand cream is ace!

But I feel your pain. I find my Le Creuset casserole annoyingly heavy to lift into the cupboard.

And I have so many warm winter coats I find storage a real problem.

Maybe somebody will notice my suffering and have a telethon...

I've bought some really lovely new knives and there's not enough stuff in my house to chop.

This is filling me with sadness. I'm eyeing up strange things at the moment in the hope of some more chopping action. The cat leeged it out the flap. I must look menacing.

Can you sell the clarins on EBay?

Not sure if this is a light hearted post or not. Or if you're just enjoying a bit of a moan.

You're probably BU not to do the following

Put the toner and hand cream on eBay

Get a coat from a charity shop with money from ebay

Donate your too big coats to charity shop to help someone else

YABU to write w***

I like the idea of a telethon, MoZa. People could donate choppables.

It is indeed a light hearted moan.

I wish I had had the foresight to stick my fancy cream on eBay instead of grumbling inwardly every time I used it. There is only about a quarter of the tube left. Can't argue with stupid.

I'm in the process of drawing up a wedding gift list. I don't want to ask for cash. Most of the stuff I like on there is too expensive to request without looking like a snob.

I thought writing w*** was rather reasonable. My life is one series of mistakes.

YANBU to be annoyed. I have the opposite problem: legs like an elephant and a waist like a wasp! My trousers are always falling down. If I get them to fit my waist, I can't get them over my arse. It's infuriating to have ill fitting clothes.
I share your pain re expensive toiletries. I have the ridiculous notion that they are the answer to all of my beauty problems. They never are and I am always skint and disappointed with hair resembling a birds nest and a face full of spots, wrinkles and dishevelled makeup.

The most "spoilt" thing I said was when we were backpacking for a year. It was Monday morning and I was a little hungover. We were moving from one idyllic Thai Island to another idyllic Thai Island. I said to dh "I know its Monday morning and everybody at home are on their way to work in the rain but traveling is hard work too, I've had to pack my rucksack, It's heavy and if we miss this boat we will have to stay here another day. There is stress involved in traveling too". Dh still reminds me of that gem.

YY to the two bathrooms. There is a house down the road being built with 5 ensuite bathrooms and a cloakroom. I think they might regret that.

OP, try the Crabtree and Evelyn La Source hand scrub and moisturizer, it even makes my old lady hands look and feel wonderful.

Yy- DH bought me a bottle of Veuve Clicqout at the weekend, I want to drink it this weekend but won't drink all of it, so it might go flat. I might have to drink it all.
My Bugaboo's wheels mean my pram is too big for my car so I have to take the back wheel off every time I put it away.

My lips are very full and sculpted, so if I wear red lipstick (and I'd love to) it looks completely porno. Sigh.

I'm away for a lovely 5 star weekend sans kids with DH who has planned the most amazing birthday surprise.

I still have to pack an overnight bag for both kids and I can't be fucked.

I am the epitome of spoiled BRAT.

I'm not ageing too badly, and I got catsbumfaces and rude comments from my mum's mates at the church fayre last week because they thought I was too young to be DD1's mum.

Adding to the list.

"My new Aga is so much work and I just want the weekend to be relaxing."

"My diamond earrings look too dressy with my Chanel suit but DH feels hurt when I don't wear them to work...I ASKED for pearls!"

I've just had a new kitchen installed and im pissed off that it's only getting painted tomorrow.

Bring your sharp knives my way Chaos, i'm cutting veg for stew with a very blunt knife.

I bought my dd (8 and ridiculously tall) an Anna costume for Christmas, her Auntie has bought an Elsa costume. I was thrilled - dressing up costumes are hard to get for her and she loves dressing up. Then I saw a Merida costume in her size this morning but no one wants 3 dressing up costumes for Christmas but her birthday is way too far away for me to hide something without giving it to her. So I shouldn't buy it but I want to!!

YABU to write W** because this is MumsNet and you're well within your writes to use Real Swearing. Wanker

Writes? Rights! Bollocks

I'm 5 months pregnant and only put on weight on my tummy so I can't find any clothes to fit, maternity is too big atm :-( and the other day I forgot to buy quinoa!

I'm 49 and look about 10 years younger so when I meet new people ( men ) and they ask my age, they don't believe me and sometimes accuse me of lying!

Former try having three bathrooms it's a PITA

I have amazing tits but it means tops don't fit me as I have a smallish waist

Since I had a baby in March and I've been breastfeeding I've got very skinny despite developing a serious cake and biscuit habit. All my clothes are too big for me.