These things annoy me, but can't admit out loud without sounding like a w*****

[1wokeuplikethis]

Not exactly 'oh I won euromillions and have too much money' but the following things really annoy me and I can't tell anyone for fear of sounding like a total douche;

1. my legs are too thin. They aren't knobbly twigs, they've got a great shape but are probably a size 6 while my waist is a 12 so any jeans that fit my amazing legs won't do up and I need to let my belly hang free.

2. my expensive Clarins hand cream is shite.

3. I spent £40 on an amazing lancome toner only to realise after opening that it's the wrong one. So I had to spend £20 on the one I meant to buy.

4. after losing 4 stone in the last year none of my winter coats fit and I can't afford a new one -because I spend all my money on ridiculously expensive toiletries- so I basically look like a winter turkey with my giant coat and stick legs.

Am I allowed to be annoyed by the above? Am I alone in my self indulgent tragedies?

Ha! My selfish dh now brings me tea in a thermos mug.

However he also brings a China mug up as well as I don't like drinking out of the thermos mug. Can't believe how long it took him to learn that I don't like waking up to cold tea

My dh does so much round the house I feel guilty. My garden is so big I feel bad about not knowing what to do in it in winter. My birthday present was a Mercedes but the cost of petrol for it annoys me. Sigh.

My lovely mum has bought me Jo Malone vouchers for Christmas because I'm running out of my dreamy Velvet Rose... But I want a new foundation and I'm disappointed my entire Christmas allowance is gone....
I'm annoyed just looking at my winter coats hanging on my completely stuffed wardrobe doors.
YY to the person who's ironed clothes come out of their wardrobe creases because they have so much in there

Brat alert!

I still need a wee.

The clarins jeunesse de mains hand cream is awesome, so you are being unreasonable about that.

My five bedroom detached house is far too big for just me and DP. The thought of cleaning it makes me want to stay at work!

Bladder now reaching critical mass.

Residents living downstream from Chez Turnip advised to move to higher ground.

That is such a first world problem, talc.

You should be ashamed.

My new pool blanket is a pain to roll up, so I can't be bothered going for a swim before work...

I am ashamed, dearest Alistair. I am lounging a mere two metres from a perfectly functional khazi.

The seat might be cold. I must buy a heated bog seat.

My boobs are too big
My hair is so thick if I don't blow dry it after a morning wash there are still slightly damp bits by bedtime
My child is so well behaved I don't have any strategies for dealing with tantrums, so on the rare occasion he behaves badly I literally stand there gawping while people wonder why I don't deal with the situation.
My kitchen is slightly creamier in colour than the Ivory I was hoping for but i can't confide in anyone in real life about how much this disappoints me without sounding like a spoilt princess/absolute weirdo.

Gosh, that was cathartic!

I'm pregnant and have the 'glow', it's that bad/good that even modest old me has noticed I'm quite pretty of late! Fgs even my glam octogenarian nana said I look: "sexy"!! (I know, she's a wrong un' )

But I know iabu when people notice and all I want to do is say "oh cheers, so what you're saying is, is that I look like a bag of spanners when I'm not growing a human, eh eh!!"

...Like I say iabu.

But that was cathartic, thanks OP

I can NOT decide what colour metal to get new wall lights in. It is so bloody hard...

We had a very large extension built last year, onto our already quite large house. It's added half again to our total space which is really lovely but now there are THREE reception rooms to clean, as well as two extra bedrooms. Sigh.

I'm after a pony for the kids to learn to ride on but DH isn't keen on the idea of buying one until we know the kids are really keen and so I'm having to try and find a 'mother's dream' type of pony that's available to loan instead. It's proving VERY difficult . (Feeling a little like that article in a country life type mag, where they reported on a mother's 'desperate' search for a second pony)

The cash point at canary wharf only gave me 50s which are a pain to spend.
I have a Porsche yet don't drive more than the odd supermarket run.
Cartier can't fix my cocktail ring in London, so now it has been sent to Paris and won't be back for the Xmas party season. SOB

I get asked if I've "done something to my lips" as they're so full and pouty, and my hair also takes forever to dry as there's so much of it... But the real problem is that when I go running in the rain I can't fit it all under a baseball cap.

And it's a real pain making sure there are enough loo rolls in all the bathrooms...sigh

My legs are too long I can't get any trousers to fit.

I'm going to miss out on New Year's Day because I'm flying to New Zealand via LA , I'll get two 3 Febuaries though but what would I want that.

My 1 year old and 4 year old sleep too well... We all had a 3 hour nap today in front of the TV with the fire roaring... But as a result I'm now wide awake. Damn it.

I have a gorgeous puss cat on my bed ( with my electric blanket on) and he's purring so loud I can't get to sleep...

My dad keeps buying me things that I want or need, which makes it harder to go shopping with mission oriented friend who shops for specifics rather than mooching. But then, I cba to mooch either. I like seeing my dad, and he likes getting things/solving problems so, doesn't look like this problem will end soon as I tell my dad I want things as soon as I think of them, so he'll come take me out to get them. Some things just arrive, like my new laptop, so I then need to think of something else I need so I can see him.

It's such a problem that I nearly cried in a shop this week when the second pair of boots I tried on where perfect as I didn't want such a short shopping trip. A few hours later I end up with the same boots from another shop, but they were cheaper in the second shop so the time wasted was worth it. And then I spent the difference on my niece so some good came of my shopping stalling tactics.

I look so young that people don't actually believe I do the job I do.

My Mum cracked me up last week when she said that the trouble with their house was it was so large , she couldn't shout to my Dad if he was in a different room , because he wouldnt' hear her.

THAT'S a first world/princess problem if I've ever heard one!

I have a similar problem to Azquilith - I look so young that people can't believe the job I do AND young men fancy me and then get all distraught when I reveal my age.

Its such a curse.