These things annoy me, but can't admit out loud without sounding like a w*****

[1wokeuplikethis]

Not exactly 'oh I won euromillions and have too much money' but the following things really annoy me and I can't tell anyone for fear of sounding like a total douche;

1. my legs are too thin. They aren't knobbly twigs, they've got a great shape but are probably a size 6 while my waist is a 12 so any jeans that fit my amazing legs won't do up and I need to let my belly hang free.

2. my expensive Clarins hand cream is shite.

3. I spent £40 on an amazing lancome toner only to realise after opening that it's the wrong one. So I had to spend £20 on the one I meant to buy.

4. after losing 4 stone in the last year none of my winter coats fit and I can't afford a new one -because I spend all my money on ridiculously expensive toiletries- so I basically look like a winter turkey with my giant coat and stick legs.

Am I allowed to be annoyed by the above? Am I alone in my self indulgent tragedies?

My DH and I have just bought our very first house. It has four bedrooms and we are struggling to decide what to do with them all.

I've bought my children far too much for Christmas and am really struggling with storing it.

My size 10 jeans are loose at the waist but I can't find my belt so I have to keep hitching them up as I walk.

The lovely lemon perfume I can only get in the US is a bit light so I have to keep applying it.

I've had to put the same plate through the dish washer four times now as there's some kind of herb dried onto. I did not buy a dishwasher so I could still have to hand wash the stubborn stains. It will keep going through till it comes off!!!

This is my perfect thread . Thanks OP.

I've got the opposite leg / waist problem to you OP and I may have the answer - Levi Curves jeans. They've got different leg/bum to waist ratios on their jeans. I imagine you'll be going for the opposite style to me though!

My car is in for a service today. They will wash it and vac it too.
But I can't be bothered to go and pick it up. I wish they would deliver it to me.

I also won £100 of love to shop vouchers but I can't decide what to buy..woe is me!

Orange - one for bedroom, one for study, one for spare and one for future kids?

I got an extremely generous voucher from friends for my birthday. It's for a shopping centre so I can spend it on anything, but I hate shopping centres especially this one. Whinge. How churlish is that?

My mum has kindly loaned me (lent?) her car to do my shopping this afternoon. I am due to collect DD from ASC shortly.

Mum just called and asked me to bring car back after pick-up.

Ffs. So unfair. I've got to trek across town now when I had planned to come home, feed children and get ready for my night out oh yeah she's babysitting

We've recently moved into a military married quarter and are now paying a stupidly low rent each month for a massive amount of space (water and council tax included). This has been ruined by the fact that my John Lewis cutlery tray doesn't fit in any of the ridiculously small kitchen drawers.

First winter in our new house, the central heating is so good (underfloor hot water heating, it's lush) that it's too warm to justify lighting the fire (which was one of the key features of this house!!!).

Ha ha OP, you may be my favourite mumsnetter now, that's exactly the kind if dumb stuff I do all the time ??

My hair is so thick and luxurious that my appointments have to be extra-long so that the stylist has time to blow-dry and style it. Last time her comb broke in my wet hair.

OP you need to find a tailor to adjust your lovely oversized coats down to your new slimline form.

I personally have a lovely new 6 ring gas hob which it took ages to track down to fit the precise gap in my quartz worktop. It works brilliantly. But my equally lovely cleaner, who's been with us for 10 years, is totally unable to fit the bits back in the right order when she's cleaned it. DH (who does all the cooking) fumes about having to rearrange it each week.

My baby sleeps through the night and sometimes wakes up so late in the morning that I get too much sleep and feel tired all day.

All you whining about vouchers has reminded me I have sainsbury vouchers from a BT promotion, enough to cover all the christmas food shopping.

But we don't have a Sainsbury's locally, will have to travel 15 miles to spend it

I'm struggling with moans right now but enjoying the ones given so far - we have one Le Crueset and only dh ever uses it...

However, if the whiney Cornish fancy a trio for their coffee date, I can probably think up some relevant whinges

My eyes look too blue when I wear eyeliner.

Another one with extremely thick hair that takes ages to dry.

I'm skinny, lose weight far too easily and have to make a real effort to put weight on. I can't join in on friends moans about food and diets.

I'll let you off Wizard, my dream was in the idyllic lanes of leafy Lancashire.

I just graduated from a good university with a good degree. Which unfortunately means that I'm now so employable that my lovely relaxing days at home with DD are numbered.

I have loads of points on my Boots advantage card and want to treat myself, but the only perfume I wear is Diptyque and Boots don't stock it

DMIL has offered to send DH and I on a lovely holiday over the Christmas break (we're students). But organising a holiday is a colossal ballache and I'm worried about not doing enough work on my dissertation and reading in the time I've got off.

My wallet's too small for my 50s and my diamond shoes are too tight.

And it's lattay to rhyme with pate. If you say lartay the barrister won't think that you're posh they will just think that you're wrong.

I'm sure they get it all the time though!