These things annoy me, but can't admit out loud without sounding like a w*****

[1wokeuplikethis]

Not exactly 'oh I won euromillions and have too much money' but the following things really annoy me and I can't tell anyone for fear of sounding like a total douche;

1. my legs are too thin. They aren't knobbly twigs, they've got a great shape but are probably a size 6 while my waist is a 12 so any jeans that fit my amazing legs won't do up and I need to let my belly hang free.

2. my expensive Clarins hand cream is shite.

3. I spent £40 on an amazing lancome toner only to realise after opening that it's the wrong one. So I had to spend £20 on the one I meant to buy.

4. after losing 4 stone in the last year none of my winter coats fit and I can't afford a new one -because I spend all my money on ridiculously expensive toiletries- so I basically look like a winter turkey with my giant coat and stick legs.

Am I allowed to be annoyed by the above? Am I alone in my self indulgent tragedies?

My children are too cute.

They are three year old identical twin girls, mixed race with gorgeous skin and beautiful boofy curls. We get stopped everywhere we go by people saying how gorgeous they are, do we do child modelling (do we shit, they hate having their photo taken). It gets really irritating.

Although I suppose I do have a right to complain; usually the people who say how beautiful they are will turn around and ask 'Are they yours?'
Fecking cheek.

Up with my baby. I hate you, Sternin!

My cleaner can only come at 4o clock so it's dark and I'm at home with the baby and toddler - it's a pain trying to stay out of her way and every week I work myself into a stress about it

I'm embarrassed about what a nob that makes me sound!

Also dh is amazing at getting up at night when the children wake and always has been - sometimes when I'm really tired I wish he was more of an arsehole so I could feel sorry for myself properly

I live somewhere beautiful,close to nature,but the fucking leaves all over my garden are winding me up.

I thought of another ranty one .

I take parcels in for the NDN fairly regularly and it pisses me off. I only say yes because the postman is a really lovely guy and I know it saves him having to redeliver it to them. Also I only say yes because I'm far too polite to say no, I'm way too British for my own good at times . I really despise it and I don't understand why you'd shop online if you KNOW for an absolute fact you aren't at home most of the time to take the deliveries in... I don't get it. Either don't shop online, get them delivered to work or fork out for named day delivery. It's fair enough being out and missing the postie occasionally by mistake but it's not ok to do it KNOWING you'll be wasting the posties time because you absolutely won't be in. I know it's not a massive inconvenience for me and I probably wouldn't mind so much if I actually knew and spoke to the neighbours but other than them collecting their damn parcels I don't know anything about them. Sorry, this peeves me. It's worse now because of Christmas clearly. I even had a Hermes package forced upon me the other day. The Hermes guy knew I'd be in (SAHM so often am) and didn't even inform me it was for the blasted neighbours! He handed me it label facing down and just asked me to sign for it as if it were mine, I was expecting a Hermes delivery so assumed it was mine as well! Only realised it was theirs when I got in and saw the label . So I had a huge box on my kitchen table for a day with that one too.

I'm completely fed up!! It takes forever to wash and dry my hair, I have a big belly, but otherwise so slim that people keep asking when the baby is due and well I tell them that I am 53 they do not believe me. Also since taking early retirement my dh keeps way-laying me in the kitchen to cuddle me and kiss me and he wants to drag me to the bedroom all the time, he keeps telling me how much he loves me and thinks I am so gorgeous, I am thinking of hiring a women so he can have an affair and leave me in peace and let me get on with playing solitaire & sudoku on the laptop he bought me - sigh.....

I have a lovely boyfriend who is an amazing cook and loves to make amazing big meals. I've put on two stone since I met him, not that he cares, but after losing 8 stone it's very frustrating ??

Here are mine:

1. I'm off to Brussels for the weekend and I can't decide whether to pack my Jimmy Choo or Isabel Marant trainers.

1. I'm hungover due to the consumption of too many lovely strawberry daiquiris last night.

1. I'm stressing because I've got a significant birthday coming up in a couple of weeks. That's right, I'm going to be... 30.

1. I've lost a stone this year and have the arduous task of replacing all my size 10s with 8s.

My DP is so kind and non irritating that I can't shout at her when I need to let off steam.

First world problems thread

Yanbu OP, everyone has little annoyances that wind them up!

I am pear shaped myself so my top half is a size 8 and my bottom half is 10-12, which makes me look like a duvet that's been shaken down too much and has bunched at the bottom :(

I hate using English pronunciation for Italian words! It's La-teh for me

My DH is so wonderful, great dad, works hard, does more than his fair share of housework, let's me have lie-ins and complete control of the remote.

This does mean however that I can never join in with my friends 'husband-bashing' chats, which seem to happen a lot and I always end up feeling really left out!

My DS has so many gorgeous clothes that it has taken me over an hour to decide what to pack for our weekend away - he only needs two outfits!

I have spent over £200 on a new pair of glasses and I'm gutted they haven't arrived for this weekend as they will look sooo much better than my old ones in any photos of me that are taken (so vain!)

I have to clean the kitchen, but I can't be assed to load the dishwasher and I can't be bothered to move 2 foot to load the dryer.

DS wants Heinz tomato soup for lunch.

I have said soup in cupboard, a pan and a hob to heat it on.

But I CBA going through to the kitchen to do it.

I am a terrible mother.

My wine is cold and I cba to trek to the microwave to nuke it for ten seconds, which would make it perfect.

I've got to go for dinner with my oldest friend, at my favourite pub tonight.
However, I am having a day at the Christmas markets (inc extended lunch ) with another group of friends tomorrow, so I'm going to have to pace myself and only order one bottle from their wonderful wine list.

You know this is all stuff you could change you just dont want to change it?

I'm confused what the w*** means.

whore, witch, whiner, wussy*???

YABU for censoring on a site that allows you to swear.

YANBU for getting frustrated with "trivial" problems.

It has to be a 'wanker'.

Wanker for sure

I've just spent around £150 on new skincare but can't see much difference in my skin - it's lovely and clear already. I also never had spots as a teenager. Woe.

Wanker

My macaroni has just boiled over...as usual.

The cleaner doesn't come until Monday :-(

My 1.4 carat solitaire diamond ring pokes me uncomfortably when I rest my chin on my hand.

It is wanker. Soz for not being more sweary.

Wanky titknobs cuntwaffle FUCKMUNCH.

Hope that's calmed the unease ;-)