To be upset that DP has told people that I am pregnant?

[ThereIsACarInTheKitchen]

I have recently found out that I am pregnant but due to a lot of reasons I am not sure that I am going to continue with the pregnancy. I was debating whether I should tell DP or not as he is not the most understanding of people and I was afraid in case he might try and pressurise me into a decision. In the end though I told him but I also explained that I wasn't sure that I wanted to continue with it and because of this I made it clear that I didn't want anyone else to know. That was on Sunday.

Fast forward ahead to today and I was on my break at work. A friend sent me a text just with the word "congrats!" and when I replied asking her what she meant she sent a text back saying "on your pregnancy of course!".

I did confront DP as soon as he got in and he confessed that it had been him who had told her and that he "might" have told some other people.

He doesn't see what the big deal is and thinks I'm overreacting but I didn't want anyone to know and he knew that. He seems to think that if people know then I will change my mind and I will continue with the pregnancy.

I am just so upset and pissed off and I have had a cry. I just don't know what to do now and feel like I can't trust him with anything. He's done this on purpose, I know he has and has put me in an awkward situation. Now people know that I am pregnant (and this friend probably will have told other people as well) I am not going to be able to terminate as everyone will bloody know about it!

Sorry if I am rambling but I am just so upset right now.

I wouldn't be having a baby with that sort of man if I were you.

You're well rid but yep, change the locks if you haven't already.

You don't have to make a decision around other people not in your position (referring to your comment about women wanting children and not getting that). I AM one woman who has had a few miscarriages and would love a child.
But I get seriously angry about a situation where a woman is pressured into having a child when she is not in the position she needs to be in.
Noone else is you, noone else's experience and situation changes where you are. Making a choice for yourself is tough and of course very emotional. My thoughts are with you going through this turmoil.

Well I have managed to get the locks changed today but he hasn't actually came back. He did text me to tell me how selfish I was being and that he only wanted us to be together and for us to have a nice little family but that's the only contact I've had from him.

I haven't said anything to the police...I have no idea what I'd even say or even if they can do anything. He did back me into a corner but think I'd feel silly reporting him when he's mostly only used emotional tactics to blackmail me and has never laid a hand on me or hurt me physically.

Emotional abuse is now considered to be domestic violence along with physical abuse. Plenty of men used to minimise their behaviour by saying "but I never touched her" not thinking that the emotional abuse cuts just as deep.

I'm pleased your head is now clear of him to make the best possible decision for you. Good luck

He may not have come back but he's still making his presence known. If he starts up with the emotionally manipulative texting again make sure you call or speak to someone OP, call Womens Aid and speak to them. In fact I'd call them anyway for advice and support.

Look, even if you don't think you can legally "get him" for physical threat, you are ignoring the number of actions which pretty clearly constitute harassment. Unwanted contact, exerting his pressure through other people and physical intimidation. Reply to his text, telling him firmly that you don't want to hear from him again, and then be ready to talk to the police.

ZOMBIE ALERT...

Three years old. Don't you have anything better to do?

How awful.

All I can say op is base your decision purely on what YOU want.

Fuck off, user1484513597. I'm reporting your posts.

Whoops... Didn't realise it was a zombie thread.

Reported.

Yawn

I've reported too. Given this is over 2 years old, it's far too late for your shite anyway. Off you fuck.

Gutted. I thought (was hoping) this was going to be a positive update from the op.

Even though its a couple of years old, I hope the op got rid of the boyfriend for good and is well

If you do decide to terminate (which you can decide to do even if people know about the pregnancy), then I dont think you should say it was a miscarriage. There are so many women out there that do miscarry and my heart goes out to them. You cannot pretend that you are one of those women because if you choose to terminate,

Don't be such an EPIC DICK.

Ignore this, OP.

Did you miss this is seriously old thread user?

I don't understand why these can't be locked.

ZOMBIE THREAD