To Expect a Vegetarian Option at Christmas Lunch?

[HedgePony]

I am a vegetarian but for the last two Christmasses at my MiL's house, there has been nothing for me to eat at Christmas lunch! Literally all I can have is the peas! (I can't eat the potatoes as they are cooked in the goose fat and I can't eat the stuffing as it is cooked inside the goose.)

Then, for supper, there is only scraps - i.e. whatever is leftover from lunch and whatever else might be in the fridge. For everyone else this means cold goose or turkey, cold ham, cold pigs in blankets, etc. For me, this means wilted old salad and a wedge of cheese if I am lucky.

The first year, I thought it must have been an oversight (although I was upset about it as I had only had DD a few weeks before and was breastfeeding so I needed to eat). But when it happened again the next year, I was actually really upset.

I don't get on with MiL very well and she is quite a passive-aggressive person. So I sort of think maybe she is doing it on purpose. (Money is absolutely no object for her and I don't think it's that she doesn't have time either - she pretty much does the minimum for Christmas lunch/buys ready made stuff.)

I have on occasions when staying there taken veggie tarts, etc with me, but I am not sure if I should do this (as a host, I would be embarrassed if a guest felt they had to bring their own food!).

I should probs help more in the kitchen tbh but then I am busy looking after DD and I do help a bit.

Am I being unreasonable?!

I've sent her one.

Now we wait..

Ah thank you posters who messaged me and reminded me to provide an update! So chuffed you all remembered and wanted to know how it went!!

MIL emailed me a couple of weeks ago about Christmas plans and I replied asking her to let me know what we can bring and if it would be easiest if I brought something for myself for Christmas lunch. She replied just bring yourselves and certainly don't worry about your Christmas lunch.

SO, she got a bag of fish pieces in a "fish for fish pie" bag from a supermarket and fried that in some kind of sauce. It was a bit random but tasted OK actually. And she did the stuffing separately this year so I got some of that too, and some mashed butternut squash (which was revolting but I made it myself so can't complain ). Potatoes and parsnips were cooked in goose fat so couldn't have those.

Still nothing for supper but I ate about a billion cheese biscuits and most of their stilton so was OK .

Phelia - Yes, shooting, hunting, the whole shebang. I have no idea why he married me, we are the most unlikely couple you could ever imagine! I don't fit in at all!

I used to go out with DH on the shoots but as you can imagine it's not great as a veggie watching the poor birds get shot and then flap around in circles in the grass and as often as not have to be finished off by getting their necks wrung . So now I'll go along for the weekends but stay in in the mornings and maybe join them for elevenses or lunch but not watch the shooting. I do think shooting is generally better than most farming methods for meat but I do worry that an awful lot of the pheasants don't actually get eaten - DH goes on seriously big shoots where sometimes 1,000+ birds get shot in one day and I do worry if they all actually end up on the dinner table...

DD is being brought up eating chicken and fish but no red meat - a sort of halfway house between us until she is old enough to decide for himself.

I'm glad you got a proper dinner (although a little disappointed you didn't have the chance of drama!)

Am I the only one confused by this, you say you are veggie, offered to bring a veggie tart etc and she served you fish?! I have R(most of)TFT but might have missed a bit.

Glad you got some food anyway OP, seems a shame and quite rude that they couldn't run to some potatoes and parsnips, and an actual veggie main if that is your preference. Next year I might skip the conversation about whether to bring stuff, and just take my own. A bit of potato seems a reasonable expectation on Christmas Day.

The whole veggie/pescatarian debate (debacle) is further up the thread.

I agree you are letting them treat you appallingly still. It doesn't take much to do some veg separately. If she doesn't have room in the oven for separate dishes, fair enough, she should then have asked you to bring some with you, rather than you have a substandard meal.

Your husband is a spineless wimp and is completely out of order for not noticing / speaking up for you.

On a separate point if you are a veg / pescetarian for ethical reasons, how the hell can you be in love with someone who partakes in blood sports ?

Everyone sounds completely bonkers.

Ah, thanks LittleBear, my apologies OP.

Thanks for the update OP - glad you didn't go hungry this time. Hope your MIL can at least stretch to some potatoes ans a few more other veggies next year though!

Glad some effort was made OP! Think Phelia's post is spot on.

Also am married to vegetarian but parents shooting-fishing-beef-farming landowners. He wasn't very happy about DS going beating at the weekend, but all his cousins/uncles were going out so of course DS wanted to go. I am not keen on it myself either, and he met me in a completely different context (work), but it's the culture he's married into.