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Original poster

To Expect a Vegetarian Option at Christmas Lunch?

611 replies

HedgePony · 22/11/2014 20:06

I am a vegetarian but for the last two Christmasses at my MiL's house, there has been nothing for me to eat at Christmas lunch! Literally all I can have is the peas! (I can't eat the potatoes as they are cooked in the goose fat and I can't eat the stuffing as it is cooked inside the goose.)

Then, for supper, there is only scraps - i.e. whatever is leftover from lunch and whatever else might be in the fridge. For everyone else this means cold goose or turkey, cold ham, cold pigs in blankets, etc. For me, this means wilted old salad and a wedge of cheese if I am lucky.

The first year, I thought it must have been an oversight (although I was upset about it as I had only had DD a few weeks before and was breastfeeding so I needed to eat). But when it happened again the next year, I was actually really upset.

I don't get on with MiL very well and she is quite a passive-aggressive person. So I sort of think maybe she is doing it on purpose. (Money is absolutely no object for her and I don't think it's that she doesn't have time either - she pretty much does the minimum for Christmas lunch/buys ready made stuff.)

I have on occasions when staying there taken veggie tarts, etc with me, but I am not sure if I should do this (as a host, I would be embarrassed if a guest felt they had to bring their own food!).

I should probs help more in the kitchen tbh but then I am busy looking after DD and I do help a bit.

Am I being unreasonable?!

OP posts:
SurfsUp1 · 27/11/2014 02:27

Confuddled - I think that's her point really. You can't be a vegetarian and eat beef just like you can't be a vegetarian and eat fish.

For some reason you're suddenly disqualified from "acceptable eating choices" if you decide to eat fish.

SurfsUp1 · 27/11/2014 02:28

Rather than seeing pescatarians as fussy meat eaters I prefer to think of them as vegetarians who make things easier for omnivorous cooks.

FunkyBoldRibena · 27/11/2014 06:42

Rather than seeing pescatarians as fussy meat eaters I prefer to think of them as vegetarians who make things easier for omnivorous cooks.

Then you would be wrong. People who eat fish are not vegetarians. HTH.

SurfsUp1 · 27/11/2014 07:07

…and people who constantly have to make that point are a bit pathetic IMHO.

FishWithABicycle · 27/11/2014 07:43

We "constantly have to make that point" because of the number of times we've gone hungry because the so-called "vegetarian option" is haddock and there are no other sources of food available.

"making things easier for omnivorous cooks" is fine, their choice, but by then using the same word to describe this non-vegetarianism they make life an awful lot more difficult for vegetarians.

MrsGuyofGisborne · 27/11/2014 07:44

Sorry pony but i did feel like crying and he wouldn't say anything because she's an absolute harridan ... FFs get a grip you pair and sort yourselves out a decent Christmas . Fool you once shame on her, fool you twice shame on you. Please take control.. Sorry for being a bit strict and shouty.

FunkyBoldRibena · 27/11/2014 07:54

and people who constantly have to make that point are a bit pathetic IMHO

I'd rather be pathetic and correct. Than completely wrong. Which you are.

Failedspinster · 27/11/2014 08:05

OP, YANBU for sure! I'm having a vegan guest for Christmas for the first time this year and have put loads of effort into thinking about how I can ensure she has nice things to eat and drink. I see that as part of my responsibility of a host.

SurfsUp1 · 27/11/2014 08:06

I was light-heartedly making the point that it's really all about how you think of it. I wasn't in any way discussing the semantics or the definition of the word vegetarian. I didn't say that pescatarians "are" vegetarians, I said "I think of them as" which is a totally different point. If I were to say that I think of my gay friends as girls with penises that does not mean that I am incorrectly under the impression that my gay friends are girls.

I'm afraid that makes you both wrong and a bit pathetic? Wink Grin

Lighten up!!

FishWithABicycle · 27/11/2014 08:21

Backpedaling much surfsup
There was nothing lighthearted or jokey in your post of 7:07. It was a direct insult and criticism. And now when met with robust defense you pretend you meant it as a joke. That's pretty pathetic.

SurfsUp1 · 27/11/2014 08:30

I meant my earlier post as a joke. The reply to that was aggressive and I responded in kind.
I find aggressive responses to light hearted remarks to be rather pathetic.

SurfsUp1 · 27/11/2014 08:31

No back-pedalling.

FunkyBoldRibena · 27/11/2014 09:23

I find aggressive responses to light hearted remarks to be rather pathetic.

Yes of course you do. People who point out that you are completely wrong are pathetic AND aggressive now. What else?

confuddledDOTcom · 27/11/2014 16:21

There isn't a term for a meat eater who only eats beef, there is a term for pescetarians though. I don't like bird meats, doesn't make me a vegetarian who only eats beef, pork and rabbit. My family know this and usually have different meats at Christmas, usually means I eat pork or a bit of chicken (the only one I can push myself to eat).

We all know that people who aren't vegetarian will call themselves that because it's easier, so if you have a veggie coming over ask them what they will eat (wafer thin ham anyone?) I know someone who will eat fish and eggs but not milk, some don't mind if it's an ingredient or cooked in... It's not about being a fussy eater for most it's about morals.

bilbodog · 27/11/2014 16:49

I think that is appalling - I have to cater for a lot of vegetarians in my husbands family and I wouldn't DREAM of not providing suitable food - in fact for family parties we all go veggie. I wouldn't go without my turkey on Christmas Day but I would provide something for a veggie. If I was in your shoes I would refuse to go to MILs house for any meals if she is not going to make any effort. If you live near by go and have drinks and canapies (if she can be bothered with them) and then go home and have a lovely veggie christmas dinner. Merry Christmas!

SurfsUp1 · 27/11/2014 23:51

People who point out that you are completely wrong are pathetic

How can I be wrong in telling you about the attitude I choose to take about pescatarians? It is the attitude I choose to take so I am not wrong and to get all upity about it is a bit pathetic! Hmm

I didn't say Pescatarians were vegetarians (that would be technically wrong).

SurfsUp1 · 27/11/2014 23:52

What else?

Tell me what I said that was wrong of back off?

FunkyBoldRibena · 28/11/2014 09:03

How can I be wrong in telling you about the attitude I choose to take about pescatarians?

Because your basic assumption is completely incorrect. And being a vegetarian and having had 30 years of this bollocks, and being logged onto the internet and typing in a forum giving my views means that I can say that you are wrong. No amount of pretending it is banter obscures that fact that it is insulting both to pescetarians and vegetarians. If you are neither, perhaps butt out of the conversation as it doesn't actually involve you at all.

SurfsUp1 · 28/11/2014 09:32

My only assumptions that I choose not to treat pescatarians as lesser people for not being vegetarians, which is, in fact, not an assumption, it's a fact. Most of the people I know who are pescatarians were vegetarians who then chose to include fish in their diets to make thing a little easier for themselves and their friends/family. I don't think of them as fussy, I think of them as slightly reformed vegetarians. READ CAREFULLY - that does NOT mean I believe that they are vegetarians!! How many times do I need to say that??

You really do sounds absurdly cranky!

So I don't want to look down on pescatarians - you can if you like, but I'd rather just be happily non-judgmental about other people's choices.

I'll look down on aggressive, cranky people who can't stand other people being a bit more relaxed than them.

having had 30 years of this bollocks
Maybe if you stopped being so rude about it and misrepresenting what people say then you'd find that you'd get a lot less bollocks in your life? My vege friends and family have only the rarest of issues in this area.

SurfsUp1 · 28/11/2014 09:33

You STILL haven't told me what I said that was wrong - maybe because I didn't say what you keep insinuating I said??

FunkyBoldRibena · 28/11/2014 09:36

You really do sounds absurdly cranky!

You sound very confused. You seem to take something and make it something completely different in your head for no reason whatsoever.

Such is life I suppose.

SurfsUp1 · 28/11/2014 09:39

And yet you can't point to what it is that I said that was wrong? Why it that?

Siarie · 28/11/2014 09:41

I came in this thread to see how it was all going, I see it's turned into a definition of vegetarian debate.

SurfsUp Smile I agree with you, since I do exactly what you're saying. I really don't care that Im not a true vegetarian, it's just easier to say than pescatarians. Try saying that at a restaurant I bet most wouldn't know what on earth I'm talking about. Yes I could make it more well known but life is too short.

If we had a name for every thing people don't eat (even meat eaters) it would be pretty tiresome to read s menu.

FunkyBoldRibena · 28/11/2014 09:45

And yet you can't point to what it is that I said that was wrong? Why it that?

Because I didn't expect you to be completely stupid.

My post above was quite clear. I'll pop it on here for you again.

You - Rather than seeing pescatarians as fussy meat eaters I prefer to think of them as vegetarians who make things easier for omnivorous cooks.

Me - Then you would be wrong. People who eat fish are not vegetarians. HTH.

You can think of them in whatever means you want. But you are wrong. Just because you know a few and that's what they think - doesn't mean a jot.

It is this ridiculous attitude which means that when I go to vegetarian restaurants they offer me fish. It's not your fault of course, and I can see why you aren't willing to understand the complexities but it really is that simple.

SurfsUp1 · 28/11/2014 09:46

Siarie haha! And apparently it's not even allowable to not look down on pescatarians Hmm !! If we don't think of them as fussy we are just plain "wrong"!!

Some vegetarians give vegetarianism a very bad name.