To wonder why how you feed your baby is such an emotive subject?

[Absofrigginlootly]

Currently 3&1/2 weeks into BF my pfb/DD

Have had no end of feeding issues due to tongue tie, poor latch, constant cluster feeding, fractious baby and no sleep (alongside fertility issues, anxious pregnancy and very traumatic delivery)....

At my best moments I am feeling proud of the fact I've kept going so far. DD is putting on weight beautifully and following her centile line exactly. Lots of the daytime she seems happy and content.

At my worst (desperate!) moments (usually 3am when DD has been cluster feeding for hours and is being very fractious and i feel completely EXHAUSTED!) I think about all the advantages of FF (namely being able to share the feeds and have some physical/mental space from her for a while)......

But what stops me?! .....Guilt? Obligation? Self pressure? Desire to do what's deemed "right" or "best" for her?! Reading some of the feeding pages where people talk about expressing off pure blood etc (!) but still keeping going BF part of me reads it and thinks "gosh, why put yourself through it?!" ....but then I'm doing the same! Why.....? I don't know really if I'm honest.

What are your thoughts? Why do women persist despite the difficulties? Societal pressure? Guilt/obligation? And if you decided to FF, how did that make you feel? We're you fine with your decision?

Ps....please don't let this turn into a "breast is best"/ BF vs FF bunfight.....I am just genuinely interested to hear your thoughts, mainly as it may help me understand my own feelings that aim currently struggling with

Thanks :)

Jazz taking a newborn into bed with you is waaaay riskier than a few bottles of formula.Just sayin.

jazz - I didn't give up because she wouldn't take a bottle and I am too soft to try the starve them out method. I actually believe I have as much right to talk about my bf experience as people that loved it.

I hated not being able to go out in the evening, I hated existing on four hours of broken sleep a night. I hated only being able to go back to work one day a week because I couldn't bear her going thirsty at nursery. I couldn't bear exposing myself in public constantly. That enough?

Your post is quite a personal attack by the way and quite, umm, cuntish. None of the ffers or indeed myself have asked anyone stating they love bf to justify themselves exactly why.

A bad bf experience is as valid as a good one. Why can't I talk about it?

sorry p'tit, but not long ago they provided cotsides for beds in the mat unit:if it was okay then.....;also I never said once that bottles of formula were risky

• what I said was risky was an exhausted (and prob therefore unhappy) parent trying to stay awake in a chair holding a baby

Who are you to judge or dictate what parents do as regards feeding for 6 months of their dc's lives?

Erm I'm not judging or dictating. At all. I said "if it's not worthy of your worry then fine but don't suggest it shouldn't be important to other women". How is that dictating what should be important to everyone??

YOU are suggesting that because you don't find BFing important that you will sneer at those who do. Seriously why do you think that's ok to do? I don't tell you what you should find important.

Also still waiting on answer about formula company pushing.

Sigh- Individuals can state the benefits/negatives of certain feeding types to them in terms of their preference and lifestyle - so convenience/work/sleep/family/ beliefs etc

I stated up thread that I cant measure the health benefits to my DC because they are rarely specific ( probably the only really measurable outcome would be in premature babies- BF is highly protective in NEC- miraculously so and that's why donated milk is often used)

If my DC don't get the D&V or asthma or I don't get cancer then how can I measure it - I cant, so stating it was have been of little/ no benefit or of benefit individually is impossible LePetit you cannot measure the benefits in individuals ,only state that statistically BF babies will have less illness and their mothers less Breast cancer etc.

Nope you do want you want as regards your dc however you have no right to push your choices on other parents.The info is out there,parents have acted accordingly.

Pomme I did try starving them out,1 ended up in SCBU,another very nearly.

jazz I agree that your experience is as valid as someone who had a good experience, but a (non judgy!) question, do you reckon that formula would have guaranteed you a good sleeping baby? As it does seem to be a myth that formula introduction will solve all a mums problems. IME It depends on the baby not the feeding method. (Not saying you believe that too but just curious as to what you do think)

pomme you've been extremely "cuntish"(YOUR word btw)and bitter to other posters on here and now to me
"exposing myself in public constantly" : so thats how you regard b/f mums?
if a man said that there'd be hell to pay

Tell me when I pushed my choices on other parents LePetit I don't beieve I ever once said (or have ever in fact even read on MN) "I breastfee so you should too". Yet for some reason that's what people choose to read!

No that's how I felt about myself. I don't mind other people doing it but it felt very hard for me.

I have no issue with the word cuntish.

Sorry I meant pmme not jazz

Although I did somewhat at 'exposing myself in public'. Don't know about you but I never got my fanny out when I breastfee in public

*pomme not pmme

Alpaca the numbers are tiny though,there are other variables and factors involved and you can reduce the risk of asthma in other ways if you're really concerned.The research goes back and forth re eczema anyway.

I'm clearly not alone in the above views given the millions of parents happily formula feeding.

Then Chippy quit with the "how dare you not be terrified by the bfing stat twisting posts" attitude.

minifingers Are you really making a case that there are no benefits to breastfeeding in the UK?

No. Reread my post. That is not the point I am making

LePetit it's still relevant and significant though no matter how small. I can't believe you're still on a mission to convince people and yourself that there's hardly any benefits to BFing. Even if there were few benefits It's superior to formula. That's a fact. Which is probably why about 90% of mums give it a go.

Eyes rolls galore.

Felt like that to ME ME ME.

Aren't you lot the ones saying we shouldn't transpose your opinions on feeding into our choice to ff??!

I'm not trying to 'terrify' anyone. I'm stating facts and rebutting the concept that there are hardly any benefits to breastfeeding and that its not important to many women because it's not important to you

FAir enough pomme - I just liked the opportunity to throw my fanny in there

What is starving them out ??

When they won't take a bottle but you stop offering boob to make them take the bottle.

Starving them out imvho is persisting with bfing even though it clearly isn't working,the weight has dropped off and your baby is continuously distressed and hungry.

Oh and Chippy I and others have told you countless times we are aware there are benefits however in my option the benefits are minimal and by no means worthy of a starving baby,miserable mum or a visit to SCBU.

Please,read,digest and quit posting complete fabrications.

"complete fabrications" (!!!???) too much hostility here