To wonder why how you feed your baby is such an emotive subject?

[Absofrigginlootly]

Currently 3&1/2 weeks into BF my pfb/DD

Have had no end of feeding issues due to tongue tie, poor latch, constant cluster feeding, fractious baby and no sleep (alongside fertility issues, anxious pregnancy and very traumatic delivery)....

At my best moments I am feeling proud of the fact I've kept going so far. DD is putting on weight beautifully and following her centile line exactly. Lots of the daytime she seems happy and content.

At my worst (desperate!) moments (usually 3am when DD has been cluster feeding for hours and is being very fractious and i feel completely EXHAUSTED!) I think about all the advantages of FF (namely being able to share the feeds and have some physical/mental space from her for a while)......

But what stops me?! .....Guilt? Obligation? Self pressure? Desire to do what's deemed "right" or "best" for her?! Reading some of the feeding pages where people talk about expressing off pure blood etc (!) but still keeping going BF part of me reads it and thinks "gosh, why put yourself through it?!" ....but then I'm doing the same! Why.....? I don't know really if I'm honest.

What are your thoughts? Why do women persist despite the difficulties? Societal pressure? Guilt/obligation? And if you decided to FF, how did that make you feel? We're you fine with your decision?

Ps....please don't let this turn into a "breast is best"/ BF vs FF bunfight.....I am just genuinely interested to hear your thoughts, mainly as it may help me understand my own feelings that aim currently struggling with

Thanks :)

Also, anytime a surgeon is operating on you or a loved one or indeed anytime a car is driving towards you, let's hope they don't live in a bf household hey

I don't get this?? I'll say it again WHY is it ok to slag BF mothers off in this way? No one would say "oh I hope a surgeon who performs on me wasn't formula fed" they would get lynched

Also babies pooing once a week is normal. Projecting issues much?

Also no one has answered my question about the pressure of formula companies pushing their agenda onto us? Surely if they are offended by NHS pushing BFing onto mums they must be equally offended by formula companies doing it but on a larger scale?

Um I have simply said the benefits are small as the numbers in the stats are actually small,the research isn't exactly reliable and often changes.

Don't twist my words or inference thanks.

Bottom line is it is preferable(as are many things) but as a parent in 2014 UK there are bigger parenting choices worthy of my worry.

chippy - FFS the point was about sleep deprivation. Not offending anyone bf (so including myself FFS)

chippy - not when it makes them upset. But, sure a generalization covers all babies yes. You are right.

Not everyone feels that BF is a sacrifice though .
I loved it, it was absolutely a blissful time of my life

Totally agree with everything milk said above .

I think maybe then it's the assumption from those who loved it ( so lucky then..) that everyone should?

Bottom line is it is preferable(as are many things) but as a parent in 2014 UK there are bigger parenting choices worthy of my worry.

It's not preferable, it's normal. And fair enough if that's how you feel but don't sneer at others who do feel it's important and worthy of their worry.

PS sorry pomme that went totally over my head! Probably cos I'm a sleep deprived BFer

I will sneer if they over inflate it's importance thanks,because I can and don't think transferring worry to others is needed.

Just below we have a poster stat twisting and suggesting ffers should worry about SIDS.The fact is thankfully the numbers involved in SIDS are tiny and if you are a non smoking,non co sleeping,non drug using household with a baby using a dummy,kept cool and sleeping in the same room you really don't need to worry if you don't bf.

In some ways I do think I've sacrificed a lot in order to BF but I won't be feeding him for ever and everything I've had to sacrifice has been worth it.

Now DS is 8 months old he's only having 4-5 BF's a day so life is starting to normalise

Mini, do you mean me personally when you ask if I need to "promote the two to make myself appear equal handed?"

I don't even really understand your point. I have already said I know breast milk is the best choice for babies. It wasn't the best choice for me personally and MY mental health however.

This thread quickly has derailed since I left this morning. What a shame.

Why can't people just appreciate their choices and thoughts aren't always the same as other peoples. Some of these posts are so disrespectful, it's so sad.

Hee hee chippy truth be told this ff er isn't getting as much sleep as she'd like.

I love the stat about dummies. Seriously, my kingdom for a dummy.

Nope - do what ever you like - all the BFs on here have said the same thing.
No one has said everyone has to do it,each to their own, but simply responded to the constant undermining of the proven benefits.

It all smacks of " I didn't do it so I don't want anyone elses DC to have benefitted "

Research has shown they too reduce the risk of a Sids,so much so in Holland they were recommended but hey heaven forbid we quote or over inflate that research.Only seizing on pro bfing research will do for some.

It all smacks of "I didn't do it so I don't want anyone else's dc to have benefitted"

Not at all....I personally feel none of my posts have reflected that.

No sorry - was mainly referring to LePetits constant refrain that BF has no benefits when it has been consistently proven otherwise.

Again don't twist my words.I have said the benefits to my children(and many others) were minimal given the stats involved,reliability of the research and the negatives of bfing.

I have far bigger parenting choices to waste my time worrying about.

My posts definitely don't reflect that as they are mainly about how much I hated bf for nine months

Whether you worry about it is neither here nor there LePetit - the benefits of BF are well documented and proven.

I will sneer if they over inflate it's importance thanks,because I can and don't think transferring worry to others is needed.

So LePetit you and you alone get to decide the importance of feeding on behalf of ALL women do you?
For someone who doesn't care very much about other peoples feeding choices that's a very involved view.

It is not your place to tell other women what is important to them. Feeding is very important to me and others, why can't you get that just because it's not important to you?

And no one is transfersing worry, maybe you choose to read it like that based on your own experience?

And in this country not worry of any parent losing sleep over.

Lots of things are well documented.

yes pomme you really do come over as bitter; what was it you actually "hated" "for nine months" anyway, and why didn't you just give it up? lots of people find it makes life easier for them, which is why they do it-not because they've a sense of misplaced superiority which makes them want to belittle others' sense of achievement.
fwiw I think this present-day GUILT-INDUCING advice about not taking the baby into bed beside you is tot ott, and must cause UNBELIEVABLE amounts of parental sleep deprivation (with many ensuing problems)I actually think that health professionals should be ashamed of themselves for adding to this 'getting at mothers'stuff :diet/alcohol/excersize/it's all your fault/etc

Oh Chippy really.

You and you alone are deciding what parents should think.

The fact is millions of parents read the info,read the stats,decide any risks or benefits aren't worthy of worry and act accordingly.

You don't like that.

Who are you to judge or dictate what parents do as regards feeding for 6 months of their dc's lives?