To think that the parents of the birthday child cover the cost of a birthday treat?

[Rantymop]

Ds has been invited to a classmates birthday, consisting of cinema trip and pizza afterwards.

Confined that ds would be going, and today I recieved an email asking for £30 to cover the part of his cinema ticket, dinner and transport to the venue.

Ds has had a couple of the cinema/pizza type birthdays and I have always covered all costs for all the children invited.

It's a bit odd, right?

Yep...more neck than a giraffe

Agree with others 13 / 14 is around the age when they tend to start to arrange to celebrate their birthdays by themselves, and each dc pays for themself - but that is all talked about and agreed upfront.
Nor does it cost them £30.
You can't invite people to something then slap them with a bill.

Party mum sent out an invite with no mention of costs - implying she would be hosting the event and paying for everything.
Very rude to turn around a few days beforehand and basically demand £30 for the event.
It's quite different to a group of teens deciding to go out and planning according to their budgets. Not everyone can afford £30 for one kid for one afternoon. And not any 13 year olds have a spare £30 lying around...

If party mum cant afford this for her son and five pals then she should have planned a different event that suited her budget. e.g. DVD night with supermarket pizza at home.

yes, it is sad for the boy that his mum has cocked up, but that still wouldn't make me shell out £30.

DDs birthday party hire cost was £150 Must remember to send an email round nearer the time asking for £7.50 per child plus food costs

YANBU

At 13 I would still expect to pay all costs for any child we took out on a birthday treat.

From about 16 onwards DDs friends tended to want to go out for a meal. Again, we paid for all of it when it was DDs birthday (though obviously we didn't go ourselves that would have been beyond embarrassing!) However, we were aware that not everyone could afford to do that so when DD was going to other peoples meals she always went with the money so that she could pay her way if it turned out to be necessary. In some cases they did pay for themselves and in others not, but they usually knew in advance so they could order according to their means.

My dd was 13 in the summer. She went to the cinema with 4 friends (5 including her) and for pizza afterwards. I paid for all of it. I wouldn't have expected the girls to contribute at all. It didn't cost me £150!

Bloody cheeky to ask for money IMO.

Have you heard anything back now that others have cancelled op? I'm curious to know how party mum handles the already-paid-for cinema tickets,..

12y DD is off to her friend's 13th birthday party in a couple of weekends. Lunch out followed the cinema. 6 girls going I think. The birthday girl's parents are paying for it - we just drop and collect.

Around here ( Surrey / London border) my teens and their friends organise their own birthday stuff and each pays their own way. Parents may chaffeur or the DCs use their oyster card. If the mum has older children I suspect she wouldn't regard asking for the cinema ticket money or meal money as rude. I always sent my lot out with£20 and expected them to pay their way. Presents not usually exchanged.

Surely you plan a child's party according to your pocket. Giving a little present would be the normal expectation but certainly not mandatory. Sounds as if they have the cheek of the devil. Also, you only received the payment request AFTER you had accepted. Previously informed you could have had a chance to consider it properly. Wonder what other parents think about it.

"I always thought teenagers paid their own way on birthday outings."

It isn't the norm round here for 13/14 year olds to expect them to pay their way.

It's not normal to do this for any age, op. The actual cost isn't even the issue; even if they were subsidising it and giving it to guests at the bargain price of five quid; you just don't do this...

Ridiculous! If they want to organise a party, they should pay. I think they are trying to make a profit on you. How can pizza/ cinema cost so much pp?

Don't pay OP!

Looks like a unanimous, wtf? Unacceptable.

When our older kids were teens, if they arranged to go out with friends, the assumption would be that everyone paid their own way. If a parent sent out an invitation to a birthday party then I too would assume they were paying, as I would if I'd sent that out.
I wonder how cheeky Mum will react to all the invitees bailing out...

No response from the parent yet? I think this is very poor behaviour on their part.

I dare you to send the parents a link to this thread

Just trying to gauge from others if this is normal for the age of the kids though - 13? I know it's not for younger kids, but when they are teens? Ds is my eldest so its al new to me.

It might be normal for kids that age to decide they are going to meet up, and maybe even to go in together on their friends ticket. If they live in the sort of area they easily can meet up, and they all have that level of pocket money. But having a formal invite and a fee in advance? I agree with Floral, sounds like birthday boy's mum has taken over the boy's casual plan.

Does birthday boy have older siblings? Possibly his parents have had such casual get togethers cost them when a few guests turn up without their own pocket money?

BerniceBroadside - that made me LOL. However, you're forgetting the 0.85p of petrol plus 0.35p "wear and tear" on the transporting vehicle. Honestly, you couldn't make it up!

quietbatperson - your "plan b" seems entirely reasonable in your post. You'd put that in the first email surely?

That Mum needs to be Mumsnetted if you ask me...!

Her poor son though-I bet he's mortified!

New one on me. cheeky. parents of birthday dc pay surely?

I've raised two teenagers and done many cinema/pizza trips both as birthday child and attendee. Never been asked for a penny, nor have I asked for contributions.

Now wondering whether to chase up parents from the last few years and try and raise enough for my Christmas shopping....

SistersOfPercy....you know if you do this you can add 8% interest? Go for it...why not? I am definitely going to try this route next time I need a night away from the kids and need another mug to pay for it...!