To leave ds to scream in his cot tonight...

[listsandbudgets]

because I can't manage to deal with him tonight.

He's 2+4. EVERY NIGHT of his life he's screamed endlessly at bedtime. We tried going to him, lying down with him in the dark, cosleeping singing to him, letting him come downstairs, cuddling him, ignoring him, sitting holding his hand, seen GP and had various cchecks carried out to make sure he's not in some kind of pain...

but still he screams endlessly "MAMA,MAMA, MAMA, MAMA, MAMA...

Over and over again.

We finally get him off to sleep about an hour - two hours after putting him to bed (I say we its normally me as dp works away Monday to Thursday and someetimes longer).

He then wakes at 3am and it all happens again until about 4.30-5am.

Its affecting my mental health. I keep losing my temper, keep bursting into tears for no reason, I can't function properly at work and I'm facing a disciplinary for mistakes, I feel like everyone hates me and I wouldn't blame them

I've not had a full nights sleep since 3 months before he was born.

I can 't do it any more. I just can't do it....

AIBU to sleep in teh spare room with a pillow over my head and let him scream?

You'll all flame me I know you'll flame me and I deserve it.

He's still screaming I put him to bed at 8pm and I've already been in and given him 2 X10 minute cuddles

He's sleeping and he's been asleep since 8.20am (bit late tonight)

This morning he woke at 5.30am but then slept until 7.50am in bed next to me.

Interestingly I think his speech is coming along faster the last couple of days as well. May be conincidence but I'm wondering if its actually related to getting some proper sleep

And how are you? Do you feel like you are able to relax and get decent sleep finally, or are you struggling? I really hope you are and are able to recover from the trauma of such long term sleep deprivation. Congratulations and all the best for a sleepy future!

Flipping heck OP, you've done a brilliant job! Sleep stuff can work really quickly if you get it right and persevere as you have just proved, and what a difference it makes to family life! Great work

OP I haven't read past page 1, I hope you haven't had a flaming.

First of all: poor you. I've had nights like that and it's soul destroying I can't imagine what you go through every night.
My advice: do whatever you have to do to get some sleep (providing DS is safe of course) and if that means controlled crying go for it! Ask a HV for help, round here they come to your house to show you! It is NOT worth your mental health!! You need to be happier and your son will be more relaxed on a night time as he may pick up on the tension already.

oh dear screamnami began at 12.40.

I decided to try controlled crying again as I actually felt I awake enough to do it and also sent DP to spare room on the basis that he could sleep properly then get up in morning with children.

DS finally gave up at 3.30am. Feeling very proud of myself this morning as I managed to remain completely calm, stuck to what I was doing and never gave in.

This time I increased it by 1 minute intervals and didn't go over 12 minute intervals but I think (hope) the message was the same. He didn't seem upset or distressed he was just standing in his cot shouting "mummy" or "mama" or "mum" very loudly. Interestingly towards the end he was shouting "mummy bored"

DP let me sleep in until 10.30am so I'm feeling pretty good.

Hopefully this is getting the message home to him.

No phone this morning. He didn't even ask for it!

Well done!!! You did exactly the right thing and funnily enough I had been thinking about posting to 'stay strong' if he tries this again, which he undoubtedly would. My DS tried every few months for about a year but eventually got the message....it only lasted a might or two at the most when he did and it was usually pretty half hearted.

"Mummy bored" . Well done. Glad you got a lie in too.

Well done Lists and if he asks for phone remind him why not.

Bloody BRILL!! Keep going.

Well done. Maybe this is the 5 day setback someone mentioned earlier. You've made such great progress in such a short time, especially since his sleeping habits must have been really engrained.

Well done! Great news. Juat wanted to say, my dd was not this bad but I did the technique of increasing by 1 min intervals and not going over about 10 mins (may have been less, can't remember). It worked really well and I didn't feel dreadful that I was just leaving her to scream indefinitely.