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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have allowed a workman to use my loo?

273 replies

Poppyhat · 12/11/2014 14:40

Sorry ,I know this has been asked before but I've forgotten what the answers were .
A rep for a company was here measuring up in the living room , took about 10 mns .
He then asked if it would be ok if he used the loo.
I said sorry but there was a load of kids upstairs playing so I would have to say no .
I am not normally so rude ,but I just wasn't comfortable with him going upstairs when all the kids were there .wibu?

OP posts:
Pangurban · 13/11/2014 03:53

It's not so much the 'workman' using the loo, as a stranger using the loo, I'd say. However, when a person needs the toilet, they need the toilet. I'd probably have shown them the bathroom and waited nearby until they'd finished. He was a stranger in your home, after all.

This is why I'm very happy to have a downstairs toilet. All person effects and toiletries are upstairs.

musicalendorphins2 · 13/11/2014 04:13

You are well within your rights to say no, but perhaps just say someone is having a bath if it happens again?

Pangurban · 13/11/2014 04:17

Claraschu,

"If you had a doctor making a house call, could he use the loo? What about a priest performing last rites (statistically more likely that a living-room-measurer to molest children)."

I have read that paedophiles go into occupations where they have contact with and access to children. However, I wonder what the increased probability is for a priest performing last rites to molest a child, relative to the living room measurer doing so? Is your remark about the increased likelihood a personal bias, or are there studies which back it up?

Maybe he was a weirdo, and maybe he wasn't.

TheLovelyBoots · 13/11/2014 05:06

Of course you should have let him use the loo.

Workman's bathroom habits are no more or less disgusting than those of my husband and two kids, in my experience.

MrsMaker83 · 13/11/2014 06:20

How would you have felt if you were in his shoes and someone refused to allow you to use the loo?

Then suggested you wouldn't be safe around their kids?

What if he has a bowel or bladder condition?

What if he had a long journey to the next customer?

Ywbu. Extremely.

Ledkr · 13/11/2014 06:51

I'm a sw and often drive to see clients in the back of beyond.
If it wasn't for using people's loos I couldn't do my job as I often go from job to job.
Some clients even offer before I leave.
I dint pee on the seat so can't see the issue.

s113 · 13/11/2014 06:53

I used to spend all day visiting clients in south London, in a wide area so I wouldn't have time to pop home between them. Public toilets there are extremely rare: even many petrol stations wouldn't have ones open to the public (I actually had to mark on a map the very few which were still operational). Some south London pubs have signs outside which say "toilets for customer use only".

Only one customer ever refused in several years; someone happened to be having a bath, and this was after they at first said yes.

TheDietStartsTomorrow · 13/11/2014 06:59

If you'd already allowed him into your house then disallowed using the loo then that is weird and rude.

Ratbaggity · 13/11/2014 07:50

There are some very strange threads on Mumsnet about people's loo weirdness. We all need to use the bog - I just don't get all the hysteria around it, including not being able to crap outside your own home etc....

Dear SIL caused DNiece some real issues after loudly accusing her of making a public loo 'stink' (DN was about 7 at the time) - she was constipated for months because she was so embarrassed about making the toilet smell.

Jengnr · 13/11/2014 07:58

Unreasonable? Yes, of course you were but, you know, not the end of the world.

However you were spectacularly offensive to this man. I hope he is in a position to turn down the job. Or at the very least request the company sends somebody else to complete it. No way would I want to be working in close proximity to you after that.

Mehitabel6 · 13/11/2014 08:07

OP knew it was rude, maybe she hoped by asking to find that she wasn't but the majority say it was rude - as she thought.

thegreylady · 13/11/2014 08:10

How mean, you couldn't supervise the man but you could have/should have supervised the children.

paxtecum · 13/11/2014 08:28

Is it normal practice these days, to leave three DCs, age 3 and under playing unsupervised on a different floor?

BunnyMama · 13/11/2014 08:29

It's the OP's house, her loo, her choice. The rep will have encountered people saying no before, most people would say yes but at the end of the day there's no right to use a customer's toilet and they will know that.

I have always said yes to workmen using the toilet, but to be honest if it was a passing person (ie someone coming to do a quote, or a delivery driver, rather than coming to do actual work in the house for a period of time) then it would not be an automatic Yes. If for example a charity doorstepper asked, even after a long chat, then I would say no, no matter how genuine they looked and how many badges they had.

Even reps can be dodgy people. Some of the responses on here are completely over the top, a ready assumption that they are all absolutely fine to have upstairs, in your house, using your facilities.

The only difference I would make is to not suggest the children are to do with the decision to the person's face. That is... suggestive of potential inappropriate behaviour, which is quite upsetting. It would be better to give a less contraversial reason.

Mehitabel6 · 13/11/2014 08:45

It is all down to whether you are a nice person. I treat others as I like to be treated.

HungarianVodka · 13/11/2014 08:57

DP is a heating engineer and would be really upset if someone refused him the loo because of the children upstairs, you would be insinuating that he is a paedophile ffs. Who wouldn't be even a little offended at that?

He's used to not being allowed to use toilets due to snobbery though.

He services a lot of £2,000 a week Shock apartments in London.

He is treated with disdain, barely spoken to, is never offered tea or coffee or even water, not allowed to use the loo's despite there being no where else to go for miles around (plus its not like these places are short on toilets!) The more expensive the apartment, the worse the treatment is!

He has to pee in a bottle in his van, I just think that's such a sad indication of peoples attitude towards workmen!

TheLovelyBoots · 13/11/2014 09:22

That's upsetting, Hungarian. I can't believe anyone would have someone performing an essential service in their home and not offer them a cup of tea, much less deny them the loo.

Very, very bad manners and a general lack of humanity.

SheffieldWondered · 13/11/2014 09:30

Hungarian. It's awful that your DH gets treated like that. I think this thread proves that 99% of people are hospitable. Even the OP says she usually lets workmen use her loo. It was just in this case that she didn't.

Cyclebump · 13/11/2014 09:31

DH is a builder, clearly he's a predator because he occasionally needs a pee Hmm.

I can understand if he's pulling a ceiling down and super filthy so you wouldn't want crap trodden through the house, but DH would be mortified if he thought a client felt he was a risk to their children.

YABU.

carlsonrichards · 13/11/2014 09:39

These tales of people using the loo and making a mess of it or not washing their hands are triggering for me.

Jasonandyawegunorts · 13/11/2014 09:45

Surely this is a wind up?

Flingmoo · 13/11/2014 09:53

To the people saying "her loo, her choice" etc - of course it's her choice, I assume OP has free will, and as far as I know there's no law requiring people to let strangers use their loos. But but that doesn't mean it's not a rude and very mean choice to make!

I imagine my DSF who has a job where he has to visit strangers houses, he will go in, get the job done swiftly, and if it's a busy day he's not necessarily going to chat and build rapport, and maybe you would be 'uncomfortable' judging by appearance as he is bald and tattooed. But of course he is a lovely bloke.

You can get a urine infection from trying to hold in a wee! I know that sounds OTT but basically there are good reasons for why we usually extend basic common courtesy to our fellow humans when it comes to toilet use!

youareallbonkers · 13/11/2014 09:53

I've asked several times about the unsupervised children.

hackmum · 13/11/2014 09:58

This is really incredibly rude. I mean, honestly, what do you think he was going to do? Go upstairs and sexually abuse the children? How likely do you think that actually is?

Jasonandyawegunorts · 13/11/2014 10:01

Maybe it's all very Victorian....
"he looked a bit working class, i decided it was best too keep him on a separate floor to the children"