To be offended by the lack of support for my hobby from DH?

[brandis]

I am in my 30s and a few years ago took up dancing. We don't get paid but we shoot videos and stage shows in professional theatres with people paying to come and watch us dance. Not to mention that it is incredibly rewarding as dancing has been my long-time ambition and I worked hard to get into that dance group as it's selective. We all are about the same age there.

The problem is my DH doesn't take my hobby seriously at all. He is not happy when we have weekend rehearsals as it means that he has to ferry two DC to different activities. He never asks how I am doing in my classes and never takes pictures when he comes to my shows. When I come out into the foye after the show his words are "Can we go home yet"? It is painful to see my fellow dancers being hugged by their DPs with "You looked so amazing" and "What a great show!"

I guess DH just doesn't believe it's anything special and cannot fake excitement for me when he doesn't feel it. Am I really expecting too much? He makes a bigger deal out of our DD's dancing achievements.

If there is an aftershow party and socialising maybe agreeing you will separately go home so he doesn't have to hang around and the OP can come and chat to him then get changed and chat to her co-dancers may work better.

What a strange bunch of replies.

OP - no YANBU to expect a "well done" or flicker of interest from your husband, seeing as your shows are only once or twice a year.

It's great that you have a hobby you enjoy!

if my DH asked me to go and support him while he watched cricket, I would do it once but not again. It is very selfish to force someone to endure your hobbies. why do you need his support on this? he is making it possible for you to go. isn't that enough? maybe he would rather have one to one time with the kids at home while you dance.

solde read ops posts. If your dh asked you to go to one night a year - for a presentation or a cup final. You really wouldnt? I find that selfish myself.

i have read the post and I insist I would do it the first time but definitely not regularly. I travel a lot for work plus long commute so the little free time I have is precious and I would not want to spend it watching something I hate. We have plenty other interest in common.

Oh fgs I'm not being misogynist. I think people should appreciate a partner who agrees to stay home with the kids two nights a week whatever the genders involved. I would say the same thing if it were a woman staying home two nights a week while her husband went out. It's not a huge accomplishment, I never said he should be applauded for it, but it's not doing nothing either.

My husband and I work strange hours sometimes and we are always appreciative whenever the other person has to accommodate that, even when it doesn't really mean any huge burden. We both do a lot of stuff on our own and think that's normal, but that doesn't mean just expecting the other person to be at home on a regular basis without appreciating it.

Dreamingbohemian - He expects her to stay home all week when he's away on his jollies. He resents it if she is not there because he thinks she is less important than he is.

I can't believe this thread is still going.

OP, YANBU. And I also contend that if you're hobby was along the lines of cupcake n crafting rather than DANCING IN PUBLIC in your decrepit 30s while BEING A MOTHER then you'd have had a unanimous YANBU.

Late to this - but utterly in support of SolidGold's take on the whole thing, and outraged on your behalf, OP.