I get what you're saying.
But the reality is you COULD go out with your DH, if you don't then its' because you don't have access to free babysitting and you think it's too expensive to hire a babysitter to do so.
But if you REALLY wanted to, you could. If that was all that mattered to you, downsize your house, and use the extra money for more leisure time.
What you forget, is the mere process of splitting up would mean that you were so much less financially stable. All of your assets would be divided in 2.
If your (potentially x)DH had shared care, you wouldn't be entitled to much, if any, maintenance.
So, YAY, you'd get free childcare, but you would have already paid through the absolute nose for it.
You sound a lot like one of my DSis, she bitter complained that our other DSis had it much better (both divorced), because DSis2's XH used to have the DC every second weekend. She completely ignored the fact that he was a drink driver and the police refused to accept her reporting of it (it had to come from a non related source), he was abusive, and left her in a deeply depressed state and paid a fraction in maintenance that he should have because he hid his earnings - let alone all of the other harassment that occurred for a period of 7 years until he finally stopped.
Whereas the complaining DSis's ex, although never had the children (he lived other side of the country) paid her maintenance regularly, paid extra for school fees, paid extra for clothing, often gave the DC additional money for camps, holidays, etc, but would only communicate with her via email (telephone with own DC).
Sure, the other DSis had free weekends, and she went out on them. Because otherwise she sat at home, driving herself out of her mind with worry.
The grass isn't always greener on the other side.