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AIBU?

to think my husband is shallow?

160 replies

StellaBelly · 08/11/2014 00:10

I'm 32 weeks pregnant and really struggling with exhaustion. This week I had a mild bleed, and after taking advice from the hospital, came home from work early to take it easy/be nearby in case it got worse. When I got in I changed out of my work skirt into leggings, and put some chunky socks on. Later that night in bed, my husband wouldn't give me a cuddle. When I asked what was wrong, he said he wanted me to look nice, suggested we go clothes shopping and said he wanted me to make an effort to look good for him. I pointed out that how I looked perhaps wasn't my priority that day after the scare of seeing blood, and he said it wasn't just that day, it's all the time. I started crying, called him insensitive and unsupportive and said maybe if he did more to help I wouldn't be so bloody knackered and might have some time to spend on my looks. Long story short, the row escalated and he said he can't possibly spend the rest of his life with such an emotional mess. We haven't spoken in three days, and in fact I haven't even seen him as he's been staying out late. AIBU to a) feel upset that he thinks my looks are a good enough reason to be off with me, especially given the circumstances; and b) want to just tell him to f*ck off and good luck to him if he can find a woman anywhere who won't wear comfy clothes when pregnant and shattered?

Sorry for the rant- can't talk to anyone about this.

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Aeroflotgirl · 09/11/2014 10:52

Exactly mammatj, like violent partners, he is putting tge blame on you, for him emotionally abusing you.

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serennu · 09/11/2014 10:55

hope you are OK op, he is a prick and doesn't deserve you. he picked a time when you are vulnerable to make you feel like shit. he's your husband you are carrying his child it shouldn't matter what you are wearing. carry on wearing your comfys. he sounds like a stroppy little child. he's criticising you for getting upset when he is vile and nasty to you, they tend to do that, (abusive controlling men) in my experience.

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teenagersknowall · 09/11/2014 11:04

You poor, poor lady. You and your baby do not need added stress right now. How dare he?! I would block out the pig and concentrate on looking after yourself. I had a similar experience when pregnant with our dd. I have never forgotten what he said. Never. But it was swept under the carpet and we somehow came through it. Other stuff kept us together. Tbh though, it damaged my love for him. They don't change.

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StarShank · 09/11/2014 11:14

I hope you are OK. I can understand not wanting to leave, it is a big step. He is clearly emotionally abusive towards you. I just hope things are OK when the baby comes... It is well known that domestic violence often increases with the birth of children.