I'm 32 weeks pregnant and really struggling with exhaustion. This week I had a mild bleed, and after taking advice from the hospital, came home from work early to take it easy/be nearby in case it got worse. When I got in I changed out of my work skirt into leggings, and put some chunky socks on. Later that night in bed, my husband wouldn't give me a cuddle. When I asked what was wrong, he said he wanted me to look nice, suggested we go clothes shopping and said he wanted me to make an effort to look good for him. I pointed out that how I looked perhaps wasn't my priority that day after the scare of seeing blood, and he said it wasn't just that day, it's all the time. I started crying, called him insensitive and unsupportive and said maybe if he did more to help I wouldn't be so bloody knackered and might have some time to spend on my looks. Long story short, the row escalated and he said he can't possibly spend the rest of his life with such an emotional mess. We haven't spoken in three days, and in fact I haven't even seen him as he's been staying out late. AIBU to a) feel upset that he thinks my looks are a good enough reason to be off with me, especially given the circumstances; and b) want to just tell him to f*ck off and good luck to him if he can find a woman anywhere who won't wear comfy clothes when pregnant and shattered?
Sorry for the rant- can't talk to anyone about this.
AIBU?
to think my husband is shallow?
StellaBelly · 08/11/2014 00:10
So sorry, OP. 
for you. Please look after yourself and your baby.
Please tell someone in real life. I can understand that you are reluctant to do that, but if you share with someone what you have put in your OP, you can remain strong and aware that this type of behaviour is not normal but something to question.
If you keep it to yourself, there is a danger that you would come to find this sort of behaviour so much part of your usual experience that you mistake it for normal and are less able to question it.
crikey, that's awful.
DH and I are very honest with each other. If I think he's had his hair cut too short and looks like a pillock I won't hesitate to tell him likewise if I put an outfit on that doesn't suit he'll tell me. That's just how we are, honesty is the best policy and all that. HOWEVER DH wouldn't dream of telling me I looked like shit, especially not when pregnant... I think I spent about 75% of my three pregnancies in leggings and fluffy socks tbh. DH didn't find me any less attractive (at least if he did he's never said so).
as others have said, if he's like this now how is he going to be when you're bleeding post partum possibly with cracked nipples, definitely with black eye rings and not having the energy nor inclination to do your hair never mind make up and all the rest?
I'm also leaning towards he's purposely trying to cause arguments either because he wants to leave and doesn't know how to especially when you're pregnant or he's found someone else. 
all round. and hugs. You need family and friends around you to lean on right now.
Yes, what exactly IS wrong with leggins and fluffy socks 
?
I agree with everybody who is saying he is letting you know what life is going to be like. Listen to what he is telling you.
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