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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have expected my BF to text me on hol?

219 replies

Angel1983 · 21/10/2014 06:54

I've been together with my bf for over a year now and the relationship has had its ups and downs but is generally pretty good.

A couple of months ago my bf announced that he had booked up to go on holiday with five of his friends who are all single. I was ok with this. It subsequently became apparent that the hotel he was going to was very much based around 'adult' activities.

However, since he has been on holiday he hasn't contacted me at all. It has now been 5 days and I have had zero contact from him. Not even a quick text/email to say he has arrived safely. It is possible that his phone doesn't work abroad so he couldn't text me but he would definitely have been able to email me. The hotel he is staying at has wifi available at a small cost.

When he was on holiday last year (shortly before we got together) he texted me almost every day and we see/talk every day when he's home.

Am I being unreasonable to have expected my bf to make some contact whilst he was away? Even a quick 'I'm fine - I miss you, see you when I get home' text/email would have been enough to stop me from worrying.

Thanks! Sorry this is so long

OP posts:
pictish · 26/10/2014 09:45

He'll be thinking..." Meh...it's fine. I'll get her told talk her round when I see her".

rockpink · 26/10/2014 17:05

Angel have you heard from him?

my2centsis · 27/10/2014 05:54

Any update op?

Angel1983 · 27/10/2014 11:38

Saw him yesterday. He seems to think that everything is ok and that I am over-reacting!

Another thing I'm annoyed about is that I also gave him money and asked him to get me some perfume in duty free and he hasn't bothered.

Said he got to the airport too late to do any duty free shopping and that they didn't have what I wanted in Mexico.

All I want is a quiet life with someone who gives a damn. Clearly this is too much to ask!

OP posts:
pictish · 27/10/2014 11:41

But you have dumped him unceremoniously, yes?

Bowlersarm · 27/10/2014 11:42

Please confirm that he is now dumped!, OP.

Littleturkish · 27/10/2014 11:44

For god's sake, please say you've dumped him???

Angel1983 · 27/10/2014 11:55

Don't worry. I have dumped him but he doesn't seem to think i mean it.

Argh!!

OP posts:
Charley50 · 27/10/2014 12:00

And ask for your perfume money back!

cherrybombxo · 27/10/2014 12:00

Stay strong OP, please don't take him back. He has absolutely no respect for you and his attitude towards this whole thing is horrendous!

DidoTheDodo · 27/10/2014 12:04

Please re read the thread for all the reasons he should be dumped and remain dumped.

Of course HE thinks you are over-reacting. You are not.

Itsfab · 27/10/2014 12:06

No need for Argh. Doesn't matter if he believes it or not. Tell him you want your perfume money back and just don't talk to him ever again. How much was it?

pictish · 27/10/2014 12:10

So he showed up to get you told.
That's nice.
gather together any of his stuff that's lying around yours, and drop it off outside his house with a note telling him not to contact you again. Then ditch him from fb, and block his number.
He'll be hard pushed to misinterpret that.

Only1scoop · 27/10/2014 12:20

Gave him money for perfume from duty free....

I'd ditch him just for accepting it.

Hope you are serious....don't lower your standards.....

He is a waste of time.

Only1scoop · 27/10/2014 12:22

Sadly I hope you do mean it....

Don't treat this disrespectful twunt 'like a king' anymore....

I would have refused to even see him....other than to get back my perfume money which he couldn't even get his selfish arse to buy....
Awful

LineRunner · 27/10/2014 12:25

all I want is a quiet life with someone who gives a damn

You definitely haven't found him yet. Keep looking - he's out there.

Waltermittythesequel · 27/10/2014 12:29

Jesus! Tell me you got your money back??

Stupidhead · 27/10/2014 12:29

He shouldn't have taken your money anyway and should have bought you some! That's apart from staying in a whore house.

I'm kind of sorry he came back and got in touch, I was hoping it was like the film 'Hostel' and he was lured by beautiful women to be tortured and operated on in some warehouse. Oh well.

LineRunner · 27/10/2014 12:33

Or that place in From Dusk Till Dawn with the vampires.

ApprenticeViper · 27/10/2014 12:35

Wow, this guy is an uber-tool. You're over-reacting? Sounds to me like you've been under-reacting for a long time!

Obviously we don't know his financial situation, but if he can afford to go to Mexico he can't be short of a few bob. For him to then take money from you for him to get you some perfume, for want of a better word, stinks. And then he couldn't even be arsed to get you some anyway! Hmm

Please don't let this man minimise what he's done. He has treated you with complete disrespect and utter contempt and does not deserve you. Have faith that you will find someone better, and don't let this wankbadger back into your life.

AcrossthePond55 · 27/10/2014 14:15

'Doesn't seem to think I meant it'. Of course not! This is the same guy who thinks it's OK to go to a 'swinger's paradise' and then lie about his 'activities'. The same guy who, when given money to buy perfume, accepts it instead of thinking it would be a nice thing to give it to you as a gift or souvenir. Ego, much?

Get your money back. Too bad you can't get back the time you've spent on him, eh? But, just chalk it up to experience and move on.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/10/2014 14:25

Angel the impression I get from him is that he doesn't give a stuff about the relationship and about you. He should have got you that perfume as a gift and not taken your money. Again he has minimalised your concerns and made you out to be the bad one. I hope you told him where to go.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/10/2014 14:26

Keep telling him, delete and block his number, delete and block off Facebook and delete his e mail, hopefully eventually he will get the message. What a wanker.

Angel1983 · 27/10/2014 16:01

Yes, I got my money but he tried to rob me of £20. Not sure if this was a joke or not......

OP posts:
curlyweasel · 27/10/2014 16:07

Angel - just let it go now. He's a complete twat and you've had a lucky escape. Just give him a wide berth (or go completely NC if possible). You've done good work here Grin