To have expected my BF to text me on hol?

[Angel1983]

I've been together with my bf for over a year now and the relationship has had its ups and downs but is generally pretty good.

A couple of months ago my bf announced that he had booked up to go on holiday with five of his friends who are all single. I was ok with this. It subsequently became apparent that the hotel he was going to was very much based around 'adult' activities.

However, since he has been on holiday he hasn't contacted me at all. It has now been 5 days and I have had zero contact from him. Not even a quick text/email to say he has arrived safely. It is possible that his phone doesn't work abroad so he couldn't text me but he would definitely have been able to email me. The hotel he is staying at has wifi available at a small cost.

When he was on holiday last year (shortly before we got together) he texted me almost every day and we see/talk every day when he's home.

Am I being unreasonable to have expected my bf to make some contact whilst he was away? Even a quick 'I'm fine - I miss you, see you when I get home' text/email would have been enough to stop me from worrying.

Thanks! Sorry this is so long

I would not be happy with DO going to a hotel to partake in 'adult' activities. Are you having an absolute giraffe? Big fat no.

And I would also expect a bit of contact on holiday. Don't need a blow by blow account of his movement a but from an EU country with phone signal of expect a text every day probably.

Five single blokes in a swingers hotel and no communication? If he were my 'BF' he could consider himself well and truly dumped.

Sorry, just want to laugh at this. You deserve better than this.

It wouldn't be the lack of texting that would bother me - it's tha fact he has gone at all on this type of holiday with a bunch of single mates.

Who knows what little "present" he might bring you back.

Get rid of him.

Actually goes to show how under your skin he has gotten, that your initial concern was the lack of texts, rather than the whole grubby, piss taking, cheating jaunt abroad, with his fellow mucky sleazers.

Bag up his shit and take a shower. It'll wake you up.

Of course he hasn't texted you.

He's too busy shagging randoms on holiday.

This isn't exactly a respectful and loving relationship is it? If he gave even a tiny bit of a damn about you he 1, wouldn't have gone on the holiday and 2, would have been in touch.

Blimey, him not texting is the least of your worries!

Assuming that he had no choice but to go to a sex hotel , and that he really was just going to lie by the jizzy pool , he should be making every effort to reassure you. He's not. That's nobbish at the very least.
Is he a nob in any other areas of your relationship?

He can be. He talks about how hot other women are and he is always late for our dates (by at least an hour)

Seriously, the more I'm thinking about this objectively the more I'm questioning what the heck was I thinking.

He needs to jog on with his sleazy pals! Let him try and find someone as good as me.

I would have dumped him before he left.

Angel- this is a lucky break.

I don't know when he is back but please don't have sex with him- you have your own sexual health to consider.

Oh for goodness sake. He's awful. Are you quite a nice and tolerant person? Please don't be a doormat. Just drop him, for your own sake.

Angel, nobody but nobody 'accidentally' books their mate into a swingers hotel without running it past that mate first. He is totally taking you for a ride. Get rid, pronto!

I'm glad you're opening your eyes here.

Read back what you've written about it.

He has never been in this relationship the way you have.

I wouldn't even wait until he was back. Why afford him that respect when he has none for you?

"Hi. Listen, it's over between us because frankly you're a complete wanker and I'm way too good for you. Have a nice holiday and do try to come home venereal free."

OP you first need to give us a link for the hotel.

You then need to text him, 'dear ex-bf, time apart from you this week has made me realise you are not the one for me, I've donated all your clothes to the charity shop and changed the locks, regards, OP'.

This would be a deal breaker for me, what a knob

Pleased to see your last update OP, you deserve much better.

Oh yes, please let us see the hotel !!

I wanted to ask for a link to the hotel earlier, but was worried I might be in bad taste.
G'wan OP. Linky?

this it ??

No, that's not it! Looks like the type of place my soon to be ex and his friends would enjoy though!

He has gone to Mexico but I don't want to accidentally 'out' myself on here by giving the name of the hotel as I know his sister sometimes comes onto MN.

Sorry!

this??

Ewwwwww

ER...yes, single men DO go to swingers resorts and clubs, it's not just for couples.

Frankly, the fact he has even gone is completely disrespectful....at the very least, he takes you (if that what floats your boat) or doesn't go.

my first ever LTB....run, run, run away...and find someone else!

and it is impossible I imagine to book a swingers hotel without knowing about it.....they don't book via Thomas Cook you know!

x

Please don't automatically equate nakedness with 'swingers'. We have been many times to naturist and clothing-optional family resorts, and there is probably less sex happening than ordinary beach hotels.

But five men going to a hotel without partners sounds like they are going for only one thing, and will be probably getting too much of it to bother calling home.

You'd be right to ditch him now, particularly as he might be carrying something unpleasant home with him.

Holy shit, just trying to imagine my dp telling me about a plan like this!

He just wouldn't want to go, and nor would I,I can't think of anything worse tbh.

Glad you're planning on dumping him, are you going to tell him now or when gets back?