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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have expected my BF to text me on hol?

219 replies

Angel1983 · 21/10/2014 06:54

I've been together with my bf for over a year now and the relationship has had its ups and downs but is generally pretty good.

A couple of months ago my bf announced that he had booked up to go on holiday with five of his friends who are all single. I was ok with this. It subsequently became apparent that the hotel he was going to was very much based around 'adult' activities.

However, since he has been on holiday he hasn't contacted me at all. It has now been 5 days and I have had zero contact from him. Not even a quick text/email to say he has arrived safely. It is possible that his phone doesn't work abroad so he couldn't text me but he would definitely have been able to email me. The hotel he is staying at has wifi available at a small cost.

When he was on holiday last year (shortly before we got together) he texted me almost every day and we see/talk every day when he's home.

Am I being unreasonable to have expected my bf to make some contact whilst he was away? Even a quick 'I'm fine - I miss you, see you when I get home' text/email would have been enough to stop me from worrying.

Thanks! Sorry this is so long

OP posts:
dexter73 · 21/10/2014 13:23

God can you imagine if you did accidentally book into a swingers hotel! I wonder how long it would take you to realise that something was a bit different about it?!!

Sallyingforth · 21/10/2014 13:29

Well you certainly wouldn't want to get into the pool!

Pickledradish · 21/10/2014 13:34

Maybe he's got "Montezuma's revenge" and has been stuck in the "kharzi"!

DeMaz · 21/10/2014 13:44

If he was just 'lounging by the pool' and generally not doing what his single friends are doing then he would find ample time to send you a text.

In fact, he'd have enough time to be texting you quite a bit.

GoldfishCrackers · 21/10/2014 13:45

He's done you a favour, Angel, by being so utterly nobbish that he crossed your line. You've saved yourself god knows how long in a shit relationship when you could be happy on your own or with someone who respects you. In the long term, you might want to figure out why you sold yourself so short. You sound lovely.

Angel1983 · 21/10/2014 16:46

Thanks everyone for your advice. Still not heard anything from him. I actually want to hear his excuses face to face so I can let him know exactly what I think of his behaviour.

The thing that is also bothering me is that I can imagine him laughing about me with his mates, as I know one of them in particular resents my relationship with him.

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 21/10/2014 16:48

He won't care what you think of his behaviour so don't waste your time.

Why care what one of his sleazy mates thinks.

Don't lower yourself to give him the time of day.

Fudgeface123 · 21/10/2014 16:50

Get rid of him and do it whilst he's away. He doesn't care about you or your feelings, pack up and move on

tawnyowlsrock · 21/10/2014 18:18
Shock
pictish · 21/10/2014 19:26

Whatever you do, don't swallow any "I didn't shag anyone, I just sat by the pool, I wouldn't do that, I love you" shite. Or any "you're paranoid/crazy/so insecure...how dare you accuse me?!" bollocks either.

There's only one reason a person goes on a holiday like that.

bigbluestars · 21/10/2014 19:31

I agree with pictish.

A man who thinks it's OK to go on a holiday like this whill have no qualms in lying about where he has been dipping his dick.

pictish · 21/10/2014 19:43

Also he will tell you his phone ran out of battery/didn't get reception/didn't work abroad/feign crossness at his phone company/make up some other problem that prevented him from contacting you.
Bat it away. If he's wanted to be in contact with you, he would have been.

He didn't contact you because having to give his girlfriend a second thought on his fuck jolly would have been a drag.

I'm telling you this because you believed his rubbish about the sex hotel having been booked by accident. You need some pointers.

pictish · 21/10/2014 19:53

Sorry to be blunt like - I'm not trying to hurt you...but really. I can imagine this tosser showing up and putting on a show.
I'm afraid you'll crumble. I really wouldn't want to see that happen. His behaviour is outrageous.

Angel1983 · 21/10/2014 19:57

Pictish - no you're right. I've made my decision and I actually feel a strange sense of relief. The amount of tears I've shed over this man the past year has been unreal.

Thanks again everyone.

OP posts:
WitchWay · 21/10/2014 20:00

Make sure you post about his pathetic excuses

Grin

Seriously though - sorry it's come to this, but glad you've seen sense Smile

BirdhouseInYourSoul · 21/10/2014 20:07

I don't think I'd ever answer another text/call from this twat.

Honestly, just accept that it's over and get yourself together.

He clearly has no respect for you and expects you to have no respect for him either. If he did eventually track you down face to face just tell him that his behaviour told you everything you needed to hear about the state of your relationship and you had no desire to hear bullshit from his actual mouth too.

You deserve so much better but only you can ask for that.

Flowers
pictish · 21/10/2014 20:09

Me too. Sorry OP, it's a barrel of shit, and you don't deserve it. xx

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye · 21/10/2014 21:35

An hour late for your dates??

Shock

Please ditch him. You're worth so much more!!

Littleen · 21/10/2014 22:13

Glad to hear that you've seen sense and will leave this guy be. He doesn't seem to be a very good boyfriend, and you can get a better one. !

Angel1983 · 22/10/2014 14:58

By way of update, I texted him last night to ditch him. I doubt he will even give me the courtesy of a response. Not even sure I want one.

Single again but it it's got to be better than being made a fool of hasnt it?

Xx

OP posts:
Wonc · 22/10/2014 15:04

Well done.
Grin

BastardGoDarkly · 22/10/2014 15:07

A million times better love Flowers

And a trillion times better than catching gonorreah (sp) not wishing that on adult holiday boy, oh no

Fudgeface123 · 22/10/2014 15:08

You've done the best thing Angel Grin

captainmummy · 22/10/2014 15:18

Aw - but I wanted to find out what his pathetic excuses were! Just for lolz.

ANyway - well done, Angel. Can only get better.

DidoTheDodo · 22/10/2014 15:20

Just arrived at this thread with a huge "well done" to you Angel for dumping the sleazeball. My jaw had dropped some distance at his antics and excuses so I was delighted to read your "seen the light" update.