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Original poster

To have expected my BF to text me on hol?

219 replies

Angel1983 · 21/10/2014 06:54

I've been together with my bf for over a year now and the relationship has had its ups and downs but is generally pretty good.

A couple of months ago my bf announced that he had booked up to go on holiday with five of his friends who are all single. I was ok with this. It subsequently became apparent that the hotel he was going to was very much based around 'adult' activities.

However, since he has been on holiday he hasn't contacted me at all. It has now been 5 days and I have had zero contact from him. Not even a quick text/email to say he has arrived safely. It is possible that his phone doesn't work abroad so he couldn't text me but he would definitely have been able to email me. The hotel he is staying at has wifi available at a small cost.

When he was on holiday last year (shortly before we got together) he texted me almost every day and we see/talk every day when he's home.

Am I being unreasonable to have expected my bf to make some contact whilst he was away? Even a quick 'I'm fine - I miss you, see you when I get home' text/email would have been enough to stop me from worrying.

Thanks! Sorry this is so long

OP posts:
Mouthfulofquiz · 21/10/2014 09:33

As an aside, when you've only been together 'over a year' (I'm reading into this, over one year but not two) there shouldn't be 'downs' in a relationship! You should still be smitten with each other. If you aren't then perhaps you shouldn't settle for what is obviously second best?

rockpink · 21/10/2014 09:38

Do you mean it's a Club 18-30 holiday ?

Only1scoop · 21/10/2014 09:39

Dear lord is it that hedonism place Grin

pictish · 21/10/2014 09:41

So...he's off on a jolly with five single pals, to Costa Del Sex Camp is he?
Ok. Hmm

Original poster
Angel1983 · 21/10/2014 09:44

No, it's not an 18-30 place. He's in his late 30s. I think it is popular with people who like to swing but from what I've read, the hotel seems to be based on nakedness and s*x whether swinging or otherwise......

OP posts:
JustSpeakSense · 21/10/2014 09:46

You need to prepare yourself for the fact that he has gone on holiday to have sex with other woman. You need to get rid if him.

pictish · 21/10/2014 09:48

Umm...well, seeing as he's taking a holiday like that without his partner, it's pretty much over isn't it? Isn't it??

Look...I'm a laid back sort - I'd probably get sneered at on here for being a 'cool wife' - but that would be a case for instant dismissal for me.

Halfling · 21/10/2014 09:50

My second ever LTB on MN. This couldn't be clearer. Your BF has gone on a swinger's holiday to have sex with other women. Obviously staying in touch with you is not convenient. Please dump him.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 21/10/2014 09:50

Crikey.

I would be pleased he hadn't texted!

Only1scoop · 21/10/2014 09:51

I'd be clapping my hands....

Lucky escape....

Ugh I wouldn't want to plop myself in that jacuzzi Blush

PinkyAndTheBump · 21/10/2014 09:51

First question would be "so when are you off down the clinic to get tested?"

cherrybombxo · 21/10/2014 09:55

Another one in the LTB camp here. He sounds like a knob, you wouldn't see me for dust if my DP did this.

WerewolfBarMitzvah · 21/10/2014 09:55

I'm sorry OP, he sounds a bit gross TBH.
If a mate had booked my DP into a swinging hotel by accident, he would either endeavour to get it changed or not go. He wouldn't feel comfortable in that situ, I don't think.
In your shoes, I'd leave off contact and see how quickly he gets in touch once he's back. Then meet up and dump him.

TheWitTank · 21/10/2014 10:10

Wow about the adult activities. What a knob. My first ever LTB. Flowers

JohnFarleysRuskin · 21/10/2014 10:12

'adult' is such a funny word in this context, isn't it?

Ragwort · 21/10/2014 10:13

Oh for goodness sake, it is perfectly clear what sort of holiday he has chosen to go on.

Have some self esteem, end the relationship yourself and learn to choose better next time - or remain happily single.

Only1scoop · 21/10/2014 10:14

I'm imagining sun beds with purple crushed velvet adornments....and those plastic swingy beads on reception....

As for the pool I hope environmental health are taking regular samples....

Course he knew he was going op!!

He was hardly going to admit he knew was he

FunkyBoldRibena · 21/10/2014 10:19

Woah love - you are open minded!

Is it really worth getting het up about a text when all this is going on on his 'adult' holiday?

Original poster
Angel1983 · 21/10/2014 10:20

Despite how upset I am about this some of the responses are making me ROFL.

Just looked at the bedrooms - they have red 'sexy' lighting available for the convenience of guests......

I really do need to rid myself of this fool who doesn't deserve me don't I?!

OP posts:
pictish · 21/10/2014 10:20

Yes indeedy.

TheWitTank · 21/10/2014 10:22

You do my lovely. He's a fuckwit.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 21/10/2014 10:22

red 'sexy' lighting - or 'adult lighting' as I like to call it, is always wrong.

OP, yes, this man is a horror.

Only1scoop · 21/10/2014 10:25

Gosh it's not at all up market this joint....as it would be 'mood lighting'

Not that I'm an expert Blush

Yes darlin....chuck his satin sheeted sorry ass to the spermy waters and....

Run run for the hills

Rantymop · 21/10/2014 10:35

I would have chucked him for wanting to go away on the holiday anyway.

Even if it wasn't to a seedy hotel, what else would he be getting up to with 5 single mates anyway.

Dizzywizz · 21/10/2014 10:38

Um definitely dump him...if my dh friend booked this hotel by 'mistake' (yeah right!) it would be changed or he would not go, simple as. Sorry you are going through this.

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