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Original poster

To have expected my BF to text me on hol?

219 replies

Angel1983 · 21/10/2014 06:54

I've been together with my bf for over a year now and the relationship has had its ups and downs but is generally pretty good.

A couple of months ago my bf announced that he had booked up to go on holiday with five of his friends who are all single. I was ok with this. It subsequently became apparent that the hotel he was going to was very much based around 'adult' activities.

However, since he has been on holiday he hasn't contacted me at all. It has now been 5 days and I have had zero contact from him. Not even a quick text/email to say he has arrived safely. It is possible that his phone doesn't work abroad so he couldn't text me but he would definitely have been able to email me. The hotel he is staying at has wifi available at a small cost.

When he was on holiday last year (shortly before we got together) he texted me almost every day and we see/talk every day when he's home.

Am I being unreasonable to have expected my bf to make some contact whilst he was away? Even a quick 'I'm fine - I miss you, see you when I get home' text/email would have been enough to stop me from worrying.

Thanks! Sorry this is so long

OP posts:
Daria01 · 25/10/2014 20:29

Poor guy! What bad luck with technology he has! Hmm

As others have said, you're well rid. If he persists with the 'sorry I couldn't contact you' bs, can you just tell him it wasn't working, the whole holiday is the straw which broke the camels back? Tell him you're not naive enough to believe he's been faithful. Then block his number.

DollyDreamboat · 25/10/2014 20:38

And how has he been since he got back?

Original poster
Angel1983 · 25/10/2014 20:40

I haven't seen him. He was responding to my text ditching him.

OP posts:
DollyDreamboat · 25/10/2014 20:44

When did he get back? Sorry he's a knob.

Only1scoop · 25/10/2014 20:46

Regardless of his pathetic excuses for zero communication....all lies. His choice of destination is enough on its own to dump.

Disrespectful twat.

Original poster
Angel1983 · 25/10/2014 20:46

He got into London this morning. We live near Leeds so he's stopping overnight at a mates house in Hammersmith. So I probably will see him tomorrow or Monday.

OP posts:
MrWalletwithMothsonboard · 25/10/2014 20:47

He sounds absolutely gross and thick as pigshit if he can't understand why you would be upset about his "holiday"!!! Thanks Angel for making me appreciate just how wonderful it is to be single. Wish you all the best and please please do not let him back in your life. Just be single for a while and think about what you deserve from a relationship. x

Brummiegirl15 · 25/10/2014 20:52

Well I'm not someone who would ever say LTB and I would defo get sneered at on here for being v laid back. But that's because my DP would not dream of doing something like this!!! Fuck me!! You've done the right thing my lovely. I thought he was about 21, as that's the kind of twatty things young blokes get up to when egged on by mates. But late 30's!!! He can quite frankly, jog, the fuck on.

And by having a go at you, by saying "what's your problem" is him being defensive as he knows he's being a twat! Good luck, don't break and well done you.

Remember, you deserve to be treated like you are the most important person in the world. Anybody who doesn't agree need not apply. Life is too short to be treated like shit but it sure as hell isn't too short to start again and find someone who will care for you and treat you how you deserve to be treated x

Only1scoop · 25/10/2014 20:54

In his 30's I thought he was a young kid....Confused

DollyDreamboat · 25/10/2014 20:55

I am also a 'cool' wife Wink

But there is no fucking way I would put up with this.

Aeroflotgirl · 25/10/2014 20:58

Oh good you can dump him in person

my2centsis · 25/10/2014 20:59

Thinking of you OP! There is no way he didn't cheat on you but you sound like and awesomely strong lady!!

eddielizzard · 25/10/2014 21:08

well, i wouldn't dump someone solely on the basis that he went to a hotel and didn't get hold of me if otherwise the relationship was good and he treated me with respect.

i don't get that feeling here. you talk about him being an hour late for dates. making out that you're over-reacting. only you know the true situation. if it's this on top of a load of other stuff then yes, it would be the last straw.

Sallystyle · 25/10/2014 21:44

Really eddie? not even a hotel that specialises in adult themes or whatever the hell it is.

AcrossthePond55 · 25/10/2014 21:59

You've done the right thing. He doesn't deserve you.

I asked my DH what he would have done and he said he would have bowed out of the trip in the first place as being wrong for someone in a monogamous relationship. And he says if he HAD gone (which he wouldn't have) and he'd been dumped via text by someone he really loved, he certainly wouldn't have stopped off at a mate's on his journey home! He would have bee-lined it to her door to try and make it right!!

BastardGoDarkly · 25/10/2014 22:21

What? How disappointing, what a shit, lazy excuse 1/10 for effort Angels Ex

Really...really hoping you tell this twat to piss off when you do see him.

Waltermittythesequel · 25/10/2014 22:42

He doesn't even care enough to think of a half decent excuse.

Tinkerball · 26/10/2014 01:45

Couldn't get his phone to work and locked out of his email? What a terrible lie sorry bad luck eh?!

18yearsoftrying · 26/10/2014 05:19

Didn't you say up-thread that he knew your number from memory? No excuse then.

He also could have used someone elses email just to say 'Arrived safely'....but he chose not to.

He has a lot to learn in life.

Nessalina · 26/10/2014 05:56

Worst. Excuse. Ever.
To be fair, you knew that was exactly what he was going to say when he got back. In this day and age there are so many ways he could have got in touch, even if he didn't know your number anyone of his 4 partners in crime could have sent you a FB msg just to let you know what was up. Or did all of their 'phones not work'? Hmm
Anyway, it doesn't really matter what bollocks he makes up - as others have said, when you see him, don't make it about him, make it about you.
"I made myself perfectly clear when I got in touch. I am not happy with this relationship and the lack of respect I am given, I do not want to continue it further. so fuck right off"

GoldfishCrackers · 26/10/2014 07:07

Ignoring for a minute all the stuff that went before, about how you would have treated him in this holiday scenario:
You wouldn't have gone on holiday with 5 single friends to a sex hotel.
If you had you would have been very apologetic and reassuring.
You would have made every effort to be in touch whilst to keep in touch and to reassure you (Facebook, borrowing friends mobile)
The minute you switched on your phone at arrivals, receiving the you're dumped message, you'd be in touch.
You'd make your way home ASAP.

You've now made space in your life for someone who cares about you as much as you care about them.

eddielizzard · 26/10/2014 09:18

U2TheEdge, umm i guess not. i didn't even know these hotels exist. i wouldn't think my dh would be interested in going.

(btw, you know the edge is trying to be a massive wanker by tearing up 125 acres of pristine malibu coast line to build 5 mansions?)

2rebecca · 26/10/2014 09:23

Public phones exist, bet his room had one. If he couldn't be bothered walking to a phone or spending a few quid he's not much of a boyfriend.

Aeroflotgirl · 26/10/2014 09:24

If he really desperately wanted to contact you he would have. He received the dumping text, he is waiting a day or 2 to see you, not there like a shot wanting to make things right, speaks volumes.

makeminered · 26/10/2014 09:43

So he hasn't even rung you to talk about it, now he's back in England? It's still text communication? He's still sticking with the plan to stay at his mates?

He's not trying too hard to win you back is he?