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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have expected my BF to text me on hol?

219 replies

Angel1983 · 21/10/2014 06:54

I've been together with my bf for over a year now and the relationship has had its ups and downs but is generally pretty good.

A couple of months ago my bf announced that he had booked up to go on holiday with five of his friends who are all single. I was ok with this. It subsequently became apparent that the hotel he was going to was very much based around 'adult' activities.

However, since he has been on holiday he hasn't contacted me at all. It has now been 5 days and I have had zero contact from him. Not even a quick text/email to say he has arrived safely. It is possible that his phone doesn't work abroad so he couldn't text me but he would definitely have been able to email me. The hotel he is staying at has wifi available at a small cost.

When he was on holiday last year (shortly before we got together) he texted me almost every day and we see/talk every day when he's home.

Am I being unreasonable to have expected my bf to make some contact whilst he was away? Even a quick 'I'm fine - I miss you, see you when I get home' text/email would have been enough to stop me from worrying.

Thanks! Sorry this is so long

OP posts:
ApprenticeViper · 22/10/2014 15:29

Well done OP, you know you've done the right thing even if it hurts right now.

Single is way better than being made a fool of, and being treated with less respect than a doormat.

Flowers Cake and Wine for you. Something tells me you won't be single for long.

pictish · 22/10/2014 15:49

It's miles better. xxx

Blondeshavemorefun · 22/10/2014 15:51

Glad you have dumped him tho sadly sounds he dumped first iyswim

The fact he was going away without you was bad enough (tho obv couples can go away with just friends) let alone going with 5 single men to a swingers hotel

Obv is going to sleep with other woman

You deserve better and I would make an app at the std clinic to make sure no little surprises are found later

Waltermittythesequel · 22/10/2014 15:55

Well done! Wine Cake Flowers

sykadelic · 22/10/2014 18:32

Well done OP!

FWIW - I did a Contiki tour around Europe for 28 days. I managed to e-mail my then BF (now DH) every other day. I couldn't text but I sure went out of my way to find an internet cafe!

FeckTheMagicDragon · 22/10/2014 19:02

No the OP is def the dumper, skanky ex-bf the dumpee :)

Expect radio silence, or a text from one of his friends phones saying he's lost his/had no mobile/Internet access. Expect excuses/pleas/guilt tripping/proclamations of innocence.

Ignore and block. Even without the no texted just going to a swingers hotel with a bunch of other blokes tells you all you need to know.

Well done OP :)

rockpink · 22/10/2014 19:04

Good on you !!

MrsDutchie · 22/10/2014 19:07

YANBU. I would be pissed off if that was me!!

MrsDutchie · 22/10/2014 19:09

Well done on dumping him. If he can't treat you with respect now, what makes you think he'll do it later?

Big hugs but you'll sure appreciate a good guy when he does come. Consider him your toad! xx

GoldfishCrackers · 22/10/2014 19:10

I'm loving your work, Angel Grin

QueenBean · 22/10/2014 19:18

Well done OP, lots of tough love on this thread, glad you made the right decision!

Get on tinder NOW and start swiping like your life depends on it, if nothing else it will give you an ego boost to have someone appreciating you, however small it is!

Please come back and update us if you hear back from the lying bastard him

charlieandlola · 22/10/2014 19:21

Good work OP . Onwards and upwards

Bowlersarm · 22/10/2014 19:28

Good for you OP. Well done for taking the decision and not hanging on with the hope it might get better.

Shockers · 22/10/2014 19:38

Good on you!

I'd have been tempted to say you'd met someone nice in his absence, just so he doesn't get 'ownership' of being dumped because he was a twat.

But that's just me being a bit petty...Grin

QueenBean · 24/10/2014 19:44

OP have you heard anything?

LoveBeingGetAGrip · 24/10/2014 19:52

Good for you

Angel1983 · 24/10/2014 20:05

No, I haven't heard anything at all from him. He is back in the uk tomorrow so I will provide you with an update if he does decide to text (now that he hasn't got all of the ramdoms at his disposal).

Should amuse you all to hear his sorry excuses. My money is on not having any wifi in the hotel. Xx

OP posts:
DidoTheDodo · 24/10/2014 20:06

Keep up the bravery Angel! I'm going for loss of battery excuse!

Only1scoop · 24/10/2014 20:08

Oh I'm sure those hotels have optimum wifi ....even if its just in 'communal' areas....Blush

You've done well Op to ditch ....
before he brings home 'the itch' Confused

Angel1983 · 24/10/2014 20:10

Well, even if the hotel didn't have wifi, there is loads of Starbucks etc which offer free wifi. He also has my telephone number.

Clearly just a case of ignoring the fool who loved him and treated him like a king..... Xx

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 24/10/2014 20:13

Well 'king Ming' has had his day Op....

"Next"

TortillasAndChocolate · 24/10/2014 20:19

Well done Angel, and just be thankful you didn't get stuck with him for longer. Just keep coming on here if you need reassurance or support

YouAreMyRain · 24/10/2014 22:11

How did you find out about the hotel?

Neverknowingly · 24/10/2014 22:23

OMG. Well done for dumping him. had you not then you would have had my first LTB too. I feel scummy just looking at the hotel links.

if one of my friends booked a hotel like either of those without telling me, I would have refused to go or pay - sod the friendship! also, I have had some crappy cheap phones/plans in my time but ALL have easily worked on holiday. Accept no stupid excuses.

NeedABumChangeNotANameChange · 24/10/2014 22:32

Even if his phone is not working he could borrow one from a friend to just send one text. Whatever his excuse I think you need to ignore it.

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