to have removed DD from swimming lesson

[lovelidl]

We have just come back from holiday, where DD, who had shown no previous interest, loved the pool. Jumping in. Swimming unaided etc in a pool way out her depth.

On our return I booked lessons for her, they were expensive and nearest pool is 20 miles away so not a decision taken lightly. Shallow, warm pool, 10 in a lesson.

First lesson was this morning and DD screamed blue murder as soon as she got in. After a few mins I went in and dragged her out the pool. I felt it wasn't fair to the other who were trying to learn while she carried on.

I was furious with her and promised I would be taking her no where in the future and there would be no more treats until the wasted money was replaced.

DH thinks I was being unreasonable and should have tried to make her stay etc and he thinks we should try again next week.

WIBU

I have read about half the thread.
Just wanted to say about a year ago I was in your shoes.
Dd (just turned 4) had been swimming with me since 3 months. Confident in the water, jumping in and turning round underwater, before swimming to the side etc.
I made a decision to move her from the mum and toddler class to proper swimming lessons (lots of reasons, won't go into that now).

I knew she had trouble adjusting to new settings so the pool recommended a couple of 1 to 1 lessons so she could get to know her teacher and the pool before lessons started.
First lesson, I sat on the pool side. She was fine. Second lesson, I went to the viewing balcony. She was more hesitant, but came out smiling.

First group lesson, she sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. I was beside myself. I didn't know what to do for the best. The manager said to leave her unless the teacher called to me. So I did. I felt awful listening to her cry.
The second lesson she was sobbing before we even got her on to the pool side. My dad had come with me (moral support - and my new baby was 4 days old so I wondered if I was being hormonal!). He was as agitated as I was. We were on our way down to get her out, but as we got to the poolside entrance, the sobs had subsided - it was about half way through the lesson.
Third lesson, she was unsure and clingy on the poolside and I had to physically hand her to the teacher but no tears.

One year on, and last week she was putting together a decent front crawl and having a stab at butterfly.

She still dislikes it when things change at the pool. New teacher this term - wobbles at the poolside. Last term she got put up a group and she didn't know the other kids and we went back to crying before the lesson started but she settled down after a week or so.

We've encouraged, we've taken her ourselves so she remembers it's still fun, and we've talked about why it's so important to learn properly.

Try and stick with it, but maybe with a gentle approach. And don't tangle her hair in the goggle straps or she will never put them on again and you will have wasted your money.....!!

squirrelled teachers and coaches know that but most parents don't. I was just trying to point out how important technique is and why swimming should be taught by a professional and generally not by a parent. There is also the 17 year old who dislocated his shoulder trying to impersonate phelps' butterfly stroke.

There is a big difference between an able pool swimmer and a strong swimmer who could get back to safety after falling asleep on a lilo and drifting a mile out to see. With a lot teenagers going on cheap seaside holidays involving lots of silly games in the sea it is really important that children are taught correctly. I was shocked on my first girls holiday at how vulnerable some of my friends looked trying to swim against a mild current.

Wow baby - she did well in a year!

I'm uming and aging with my secondbkrn and thinking of starting later, maybe 4? I'm not sure my firstborns early start made any difference. And 2 years is about 480 that could have be spent elsewhere!!

On the other hand you do meet little 4 and 5 year olds that swim brilliantly... So its obviously sometimes worth it?!

I think we're currently planning fortnightly swims so big one gets a practice and we have fun with the 3 year old.

OK not read whole thread so sorry if I've missed something/about to say something that's already been suggested etc etc, but what I did with DS2 (aged 3), when he started proper swimming lessons, (he has been in pool/beach before fine) on his first lesson I told him he'd be going in the pool like his brother.
On the day I took him over, and he immediately refused to get in (he's very stubborn) so I just turned around and walked away, waiting outside for 10 minutes. The minute I left, he got in perfectly fine, and was joining in with the other kids, and have had no issues since. Of course I felt awful leaving him (mean mother!) but it was the best thing I did and he's doing really well at swimming now.
MAybe you could try doing that next week?

I can see why you are frustrated but I think you are massively overreacting- she is only 4 and was probably overwhelmed! Or was just being a pain that day _ I say try again but be supportive... maybe get Grandma or her Dad to take her?

I don't think it's uncommon in the beginning. I think Iamoldgregg has a good point - my dd would play up horrendously for me but be absolutely fine if her dad took her. He's more likely to leave it to the teacher to decide if the behaviour is so unreasonble she needs to leave the lesson. Whereas I'd get stressed and embarrassed and intervene.

She loves swimming now and never misbehaves. I think it takes them a while to get used to the routine, then they start to enjoy it.

OP i wouldn't beat yourself up too much, ok you over reacted. Most parents have at some stage. Send her back next week with Dh. Promise a trip to the pound shop afterwards to buy some old tat a wonderful toy if shes good.

oh yes and I second bribes! DD gets a kinder surprise small chocolate and to have her dinner on the couch (big treat in our house!).

Four is still quite little. A lot of kids start swimming lessons at this age but it is ok to leave it for a bit.

But given that you have PAID and she HATED it, ugh, I would try to compromise.as others have suggested, give her a week or two off and take her for fun times in a pool with you or her dad (or both).

Phone the swim school and ask for advice on encouraging her back into the water.

Expect not much from the term. If she is feeling frightened she may even baulk at putting her head under. At this stage it is all about water confidence, learning to blow bubbles, dive for rings on the bottom etc.

Once that is in place, she can start learning to float, kick, stroke etc. Once she is into it, and assuming her teacher is competent, you can expect her to be able to swim lengths within a year-18months. But this early part, water confidence, can take a while for some kids.

I know you are feeling awful about this but really, in the big picture, it's such a small thing. You can all get past this with a bit of goodwill and patience.