to have removed DD from swimming lesson

[lovelidl]

We have just come back from holiday, where DD, who had shown no previous interest, loved the pool. Jumping in. Swimming unaided etc in a pool way out her depth.

On our return I booked lessons for her, they were expensive and nearest pool is 20 miles away so not a decision taken lightly. Shallow, warm pool, 10 in a lesson.

First lesson was this morning and DD screamed blue murder as soon as she got in. After a few mins I went in and dragged her out the pool. I felt it wasn't fair to the other who were trying to learn while she carried on.

I was furious with her and promised I would be taking her no where in the future and there would be no more treats until the wasted money was replaced.

DH thinks I was being unreasonable and should have tried to make her stay etc and he thinks we should try again next week.

WIBU

OP, you really do need to watch out for swim safety – a four year old shouldn’t ever be out of her depth at all unless an adult who can swim is within arm’s reach and watching her closely. A five foot deep pool isn’t safe for her if neither you nor your DP can swim. Also look at this Drowning doesn’t look like drowning and check the video clip – they make the point that a drowning child can look as if they are just doing dog paddle!

My DS got totally put off swimming lessons by a big swimming class at age 5. We ended up paying for one-to-one lessons in a private pool. He spent the first few weeks being gradually taught to put his face in the water and blow bubbles. Once he could do that confidence came naturally. Having his face splashed would have put him off for life!

My training took hours and hours of classroom and pool time on child development, biomechanics, buoyancy, propulsion, pedagogy, aquatic safety, stroke development, teaching methods, and a hundred other things plus months of shadowing, exams (pass rate 100%) and observed teaching before I was allowed to teach. Will you as an unqualified parent obtain the same results in the pool as me? I doubt it.

As I said though the lessons my children went to just seemed to involve getting the children (usually about 10 of them) to swim up and down the pool. The instructors didn't teach much in the way of technique so yes an unqualified parent who is a reasonably good swimmer would get the same results.

I may well have freaked out like that in your situation - as a previous poster said it would be the waste of money that upset me.

That's why we didn't do swimming lessons at that age (well, why we didn't scrabble together the money for it). It's too young for some children I think, and I just couldn't bear the idea of spending money we didn't really have when it was such a risk.

I was really glad when DD got her mandatory year 2 swimming lessons last year (and we didn't even need to pay, since the school used her pupil premium for it :)) - it gave her an opportunity to experience what we couldn't give her (for various reasons family swimming has not been possible - it sucks) and the best thing was it was with her best friends and even her favourite teachers/TAs were with them. She still had one freak-out though.

I am now finally starting to think about getting lessons for her age 7.

It's all about your legs being the right way round stripy. People mess up their hips and knees kicking all wonky and wrong angled. Don't worry if you are just doing some gentle laps but I would worry about young children with growing bodies.

whatever5 that's terrible from swim instructors POV. Lessons should be fun and teach correct drills and technique. Not lengths and lengths of swimming.

With regard to parents teaching children themselves, yes if the parent has some swim knowledge IE swam to high level etc then they could theoretically teach them themselves. However they wouldn't maybe have the range of floats/armbands etc available. Or the confidence msybe to push the child safely. I've taught swimming for 7 yrs and I still take my 9m old DD to structured parent and child lessons. I'm more then happy to teach other people's children how to swim but the thought of submerging her was terrifying. Much happier letting the "teacher" do it. don't know why I worried though, she's part mermaid

I do realise that's VERY PFB of me.

The amount of parents I see in public sessions trying to teach their children incorrect technique.

Swimming with bad technique is hard work, and not enjoyable. Technique is everything. You would not be able to swim in the sea or long enough in a large body of water to get to safety with a tiring splashy self taught stroke.

Pretty much every ex competitive swimmer I know wouldn't teach their own child. And that includes an ex-commonwealth swimmer. Basically, if you think you can teach your own kids how to swim properly (and therefore safely), you don't know enough about swimming.

whatever5 yes if it's a case of drilling kids up and down a pool with no correction of technique, then anyone can do that. However, this is not a swimming lesson and you should not be paying anyone to do this.

Another one absolutely shocked at the ratio. DD is 4 and has done a holiday crash course and will now be doing a term of lessons. She is learning in a council pool with council instructors. Max ratio 1:4 and instructors in the pool at all times. Parents not required to be poolside or anything. Also at this age can do parent and child classes with a slightly higher ratio.

1:10 and instructor poolside sounds dangerous to me, or at the least very unprofessional.

I've been there with DS. I took him swimming twice a week practically from when he was born, moved on to parent & child classes and he screamed and scratched and kicked and tantrummed and it was awful. So embarrassing and yes I was cross at having paid a lot of money for him to do something I thought he'd love just to be hit and screeched at for half an hour. He was nearly 4 at that time.

I persevered through the block I'd paid for, took him out after that and sent him to child-only lessons as soon as he was old enough, which he's now been going to for over a year with no problems whatsoever.

You've had a lot of good advice about what to do next OP. Just know you're not alone with having a child who suddenly reacts to water like a scalded cat .

DS's council-run lessons are 10 in a class, 1 instructor on poolside and one in the water.

Depends on the lesson. DD is 5, and she has about 1:10 with instructor poolside.

However she is very water confident, and the pool was chest deep for her. All the children were at least that standard, so the lesson was straight into teaching actual swimming and proper strokes.

My dd cried for the first couple of lessons but now does really well. She's proud of herself for sticking with it and now loves swimming. She was 4 when she started and would have loved it if I'd taken her out of the pool. I was tempted but we stuck with it.

I've got to say 1:1 lessons with a qualified instructor are a revelation for us having had dd1 and dd2 in group lessons. Dd3 has had literally 6 lessons and is pretty much swimming a width. Her teacher is also teaching technique right from the beginning.

It's a bit different from my old school sessions which involved swimming up and down fir what felt like honurs and picking bricks off the bottom of the freezing Victorian pool.

whatever5 yes if it's a case of drilling kids up and down a pool with no correction of technique, then anyone can do that. However, this is not a swimming lesson and you should not be paying anyone to do this.

The swimming instructors dd1 went to between the ages of 5 and 8 called that a swimming lesson though. The fact that several did this suggests it not unusual. I paid because I couldn't take two children under the age of eight swimming by myself.

Can I suggest you phone the pool and ask to speak to the person who runs the swimming ( there is someone at our local LC) or the instructor. I would ask what they can do to help DD. I would also try and take her with you to that pool before another lesson.

and yes I know a few swim teachers who send there children for swimming lessons as they respond differently to teachers than parents.

My attempts at teaching my DS he just wanted to play with me which is great for water confidence but not for swimming skills.

I am wondering if she has little experience with swimming pools ..She may need more fun .

Other thing if you were told there was a swim teacher in the water then you should query this.

As she is preschool depending on if you work etc you may be able to swap her to a smaller class. I used to do an early class as it had half the numbers of the later class

NannyOgg And how good a swimmer is he? Strong, confident? How far can he swim with an efficient stroke that doesn't leave him worn out? How long can he swim when out of his depth? Underwater?

My DS is now 13 and an excellent swimmer. He ended up taking diving lessons because he loved diving and he enjoyed the lessons. He's just naturally good at it, some people are I guess.

Swimming with bad technique is hard work, and not enjoyable. Technique is everything. You would not be able to swim in the sea or long enough in a large body of water to get to safety with a tiring splashy self taught stroke.

It isn't impossible to be a strong swimmer without swimming lessons. Swimming lessons were relatively uncommon when I was a child but many people still learned to swim with good technique if they went swimming often enough. I learned to swim well by copying my father.

Gosh I'm really surprised at the classes with 10.in and an instructor poolside.

I don't think I'd pay for that - I'd save and have a few private lessons here and there if that was all that was on offer!

The local council pools always have someone in the pool for stages 1 2 and 3. They can help with technique and hold the body as they go without wiggled for the first time (how on earth do they do anything but mindless swimming with 10 non swimmers?!)

Stage 3 in our pool is mainly without aids, they can all swim at least 5 meters and when they leave the class will swim the 3 main strokes well... Still about 6 in a class, often less, with an instructor in the pool...

My idea of a "strong" swimmer is someone who can swim an hour's club session, all four strokes. I've never known a self taught swimmer able to do that.

I don't think there's any point in formal lessons before age 5 though. Up til then it's all water confidence.

I would echo what the other swim teachers have said - my beginner lessons for age 4 plus had a maximum of 6 children, with a teacher and two assistants in the water.

Are you anywhere near Livingston? I'd suggest contacting Livingston and District Dolphins Swimming Club as they take children from age 3 - if that's too far away then they might know of other options closer to you. I'd always be tempted to go with swim club lessons rather than Council lessons, as Council tends to look at income and swim clubs are more interested in getting kids swimming and hopefully into competitive swimming.

My idea of a "strong" swimmer is someone who can swim an hour's club session, all four strokes. I've never known a self taught swimmer able to do that.

I know people who weren't taught to swim via swimming lessons who can do that including my father (who swam competitively). It's not necessary to able to swim all four strokes to be able to "swim in the sea or long enough in a large body of water to get to safety".

I have just had this. DD, nearly 4 loved thw water until I booked her lessons

She cried for 3 lessons, I had to hold her hand in the pool when she wasn't swimming but no way would I drop the lessons.

What I suggest, if possible, is a smaller class (10 is way too many IMO), or if you could afford private lessons for a short time.

This week DD let me leave her in the pool and go to the other side (where the seats are )

Don't give up though. Everyone should know how to swim.

tiny teachers and coaches generally don't do long breaststroke sets for growing kids, it's little and often so that the knees and hips aren't over stressed. DS1 had to duck out of breaststroke for a couple of years while he was growing rapidly as his hip flexors were very tight and it was sore. Two years of physio and he's back swimming breaststroke.

Parenting classes?! Because of reading a few lines on the internet?

Hahahaha!

You've had good advice OP and I don't have anything to add, but I couldn't resist expressing my mirth at the outbreak of sanctimony up thread.