to not know what to do about Santa

[KleineDracheKokosnuss]

DH suggested I ask you lovely ladies for advice . And yes, I know it's not even Halloween yet...

I have a DD, who is two. We are coming up to her first Christmas where she might have a vague idea of what is going on and could understand a little about the various customs. I'm not religious, so Christmas for me is just a mid-winter feast/party/bit of time off work that I can spend with my DH/DD. The problem I have is what to do about St Nick. I can't decide if I should tell her he is real (and have to disabuse her later/risk having her spot that mummy lied) or perhaps take a different approach (in which case what approach?).

In part, I wonder if Terry Pratchett has it right and you have to tell children the small lies (tooth fairy, Santa) in order that they can later wrap their minds around the big 'lies' we use in society in order to be society (truth, justice,...). On the other hand, it just feels really wrong to me.

As an aside MNHQ when can we talk about xmas on the normal boards, some posters think there is a specific date?

december 1st

can you link me ultra.

Ultranumb- is that information from MNHQ or on the talk guidelines?

There are rules about when and where to speak of Christmas? How odd.

Can we speak about christmas after the event on the general boards? Is there a cut off time for that too?

Is that when the rules came into being? Seems very odd.

Two is far too young to say that Father Christmas is not real. I didn't tell my son until he was 11, although he suspected before then. Having kids believe in Father Christmas is lovely, and all part of the festivities.

I find it odd that people are discussing Christmas now- the first lot will decorate at the end of November- and then on Boxing Day people will be posting that they are clearing it all away!

Some people have lots to plan and arrange. Working out travel, menus, budgeting, family expectations and visits, booking flights/theatre tickets etc.

Can we speak about christmas after the event on the general boards? Is there a cut off time for that too?

Not sure ladies, I have asked MNHQ so we can pin this down.

We do not want to tread on toes after all

Having said that I really dont think this is the thread for the cosy christmas topic world.

delp why is it odd?

Autumn is well under way, people slowly start to make arrangements, people travel over xmas, brains start to think of budgets, costs, shops start to do offers...decorations are creeping into shops and mainly for me anyway, as the on set of cold weather, nasty driving conditions and also the almost suffocating short days, its night and black and dark, I feel claustrophobic dreading all the illness, colds, viruses and misery that can come with winter - Winter IS Coming - Christmas gives one a little beacon of light in all that darkness, a little beacon shining out, saying " dont worry, we will celebrate, we will fight this, we will have light, in the darkest days, we will have light and hope.

And something to look forward to really..

I would have thought that "christmas" chat may pop up in many places.
Single parent forum/ bereavement/ religion/ food/money etc. As you say Amouse some may be too serious for the celebratory christmas board. What is the system for policing the "christmas" topics that may end up elsewhere?

aibu was full of "mil ruined Christmas" and "aibu about my present" and "Santa didn't wrap things properly". It was a PITA [sigh]

Well thats life Maryz. This is what happens, Mils do ruin xmas. Fact. Sometimes.

Its already started, with a few tortured souls dreading xmas asking for help...

What is the system for policing the "christmas" topics that may end up elsewhere?

Hopefully MNHQ will shed light in this dark corner soon...

Surely it's easy enough to ignore Xmas threads when they have the word Santa in the heading.

There is too little awe and wonder in the world - she will never have another childhood, another chance to believe in magic...santa is real.

I agree Tara.

We have a Scottish Brownie living with us, ( a type of house elf) he even has a little copper door on the skirting board that he can nip in and out of to the forest or the netherworld. He is mischeveous and often hides things. He does have a sweet tooth though so if we leave out a sweet or biscuit for him usually the lost item is returned promptly, My 14 year old DD often loses things and I am forever cleaning up marshmallows and pieces of chocolate from the Brownie's doorstep.

Now before anyone things I am completely bonkers- neither me nor my DD actually believe that Brownies are real. It's true that we have a little door and we leave offerings, but it's all just a great game.

THe leaving of offereings does actually work, but I think it works because it is a memory aid, a little jolt to the brain's subconcious to help us remember where we last left something. THe missing items are usually ones we have misplaced and forgotten, but the act of putting out a sweet and then going to look forces our memory to think a little harder about where we left it. Nothing supernatural.

Either way, it's fun, my DD and I laugh about it, but it's true we do give sweets to our imaginary friend.

Having a Brownie in the house makes our lives a little richer, a sperkle of magic, a little more fun, and does help us find things.

Santa is in the same realm.

I'm with you op, my parents never pretended that Santa was real and I still had amazing Christmas's growing up, we had presents, lovely food, board games, movies etc, I got very excited by it all despite not believing for one minute that Santa was real. I will be taking the same approach with my own kids.

Happy its hard to explain if you have never had it, but xmas of course will be fun, but do you get that its not magical because there is no magic in mum and dad buying gifts, yes, its ultra exciting, new presents and toys, and yes so exciting to look forward too, but its not magical in the same way.

there is no yearning and longing and wondering becuse there is no need for it.

Big LOVE the sound of your brownie!!!! enchanting.