to 'encourage' my dd to give up her hobby?

[georgieporgie1]

My dd(7) has been doing a hobby very heavily for two years, including doing competitions, with a large amount of success (not a stealth boast, just setting the scene). However, for a number of reasons this success is likely to not continue, and I suspect it's a large part of why she has enjoyed the hobby.
It's a very expensive hobby, which we had no idea of when we got into it, and means we can't afford family holidays, affecting me, dh and dd(3). It also involves a lot of afternoons hanging around for dd(3) waiting for dd(7) to do her thing, when dd(3) would rather be playing at home.

Some of her school classmates have recently taken up the competitive side of the hobby, and now the competitiveness appears to be spilling over at school in a not very nice way. My dh and I for various reasons hate the competitions and wish we'd never got involved, and my dd is certainly nowhere near as enthusiastic as she was, and never wants to practise.

However, she wants to keep doing the competitions. Would I be unreasonable to 'encourage' her to just do the non competitive side of the hobby, or even to swap hobbies? She is interested in trying out some other hobbies, but we have no idea whether they would suit her.

Cheerleading? Though I quite like a PP's suggestion of parkour.

My (probably not very popular) opinion is that a 7-year-old shouldn't be engaging in any single activity that requires a six-day-a-week commitment, competitions, etc. I wouldn't want a 7-year-old (or a 5-year-old, since the OP's child began this activity at 5) to be involved in an organised activity that required such a high level of commitment.

IMO young children should have the opportunity to experience all sorts of activities, and most of them should be completely informal, e.g. playing football with friends rather than belonging to a team. As they grow older (12/13ish), they might choose a higher degree of commitment to devote to a favourite activity. But for a child of 7, I would feel very comfortable telling her that this hobby was taking too much time and didn't really fit with the needs of the family as a whole.

No one on here gives a shit what the hobby is. People only ask so they can comprehend the whole picture.

Really no one has any fucks to give.

I know Theas18. The recorder can sound lovely. I play the tin whistle, its vaguely similar and I do love it. Maybe I should change my comment to: the recorder can sound lovely once its owner has moved beyond the 7 year old beginner phase.

My bid's on Quidditch...those broomsticks are really expensive!

Guessing some sort of dancing - Irish, ballroom, ballet or modern. Or gymnastics.

Anyway.

I have a friend whose daughter does a form of dance, only child so it doesn't impact on another child but, when it got to the competitive stage they had a sit down discussion and agreed that mum and dad would continue to pay but she had to be serious about the competing side, if she (dd) wasn't committed then she could carry on as a hobby but not the competition side.

Would something like that help? A discussion of the costs included.

Ermm I still want to know what the hobby is, and am disappointed that there are 5 pages of comments and still no mention of what it actually is. If anyone knows, pleeeese tell me. Ta

I personally wouldn't let one of my dc do a hobby that took such a lot of valuable time and money out of the family.

I am an equal parent to all of my children and wouldn't see one suffer for another.

Tough luck, there's not enough time and money around for this hobby in the context of a family with another, equally important child. That would be decision made for me.

Is there not a hobby that the whole family can enjoy? My dd did Irish dancing and all the little sisters also took it up and usually outshone their big sisters. Then my dd went in for horse-riding and the stable was full of families who would have one horse or pony between them and all enjoyed themselves.

OP - if she was committed it would be different but sounds like she doesn't want to practice.

Tell her that you won't pay for and take her to competitions unless she puts in the practice.

It would be easier for us to suggest cost cutting tips if we knew what the hobby was.

As for the time commitment for DD3 could you share the competition runs with another parent? It would reduce petrol costs as well as giving you more DD3 time.

As for family time maybe go for quality over quantity - it doesn't take long to play a board game or visit the playground.

Ok I'm going with disco/freestyle dancing, those costumes are stupidly expensive!
We have a couple of ex-freestylers at our current 'normal' dance school, they moved over to do ballet/tap/modern instead. It's cheaper, much less diamanté a and dance colleges prefer it... Possible?
Obviously not a possibility if it's sailing

Gymnastics is expensive, time consuming and masses of practice. Wouldn't out the op though.

Can't think of a single hobby that would out the OP, she's jut being awkward surely.

You can't afford the hobby, it's impacting on the entire family which is unfair. Why would anyone make everyone suffer for a hobby the child is not that committed to?

Competitive beekeeping?

Marbles?

Colouring in league?

I've got it - tennis ???? Not that I care , I just like a puzzle!

Another one for the recorder playing massive. I don't think the op's expensive hobby is recorder somehow, unless she's antique pearwood instruments every term.

Quidditch

Pmsl

Dance Moms.

Chess.

It's Chess Club.

I can see how it starts tbh as we have similar.

DD started dancing, for the first few weeks it was leggings and trainers so no cost apart from the lesson.

Then it was a pair of shoes, then she went to a little competition, had fun and wanted to do more.

Costumes, shoes, wigs, tiaras, hotels for competitions in the arse end of nowhere... It all snowballs.

I was thinking chess think !

Don't say chess! One of mine has got into it, and I'm relieved that, at the moment, it appears to be free.

I'm nosy about the hobby too. I'm trying to work out what hobby a) costs £1000 a term b) is so niche that telling us what it is would out the OP c) is simultaneously so popular that loads of the DD's classmates are doing it, and there are frequent national competitions d) is something that a lot of DD's 7-year old classmates are already considering as a career.

I can't think of anything that could fit all four criteria. I mean, how many 7-year olds have any kind of idea that their hobby might lead to a career later on?

She takes part in Junior Beauty Pageants, betcha :)

I reckon mine will do chess. He looks the type.

She's part of Abby Lee Millers junior elite competition team??

Baking or spelling bees.

Those ingredients when you're doing a mini show stopper must be pricey. Or maybe it's the lists of spellings and the dictionaries.