to 'encourage' my dd to give up her hobby?

[georgieporgie1]

My dd(7) has been doing a hobby very heavily for two years, including doing competitions, with a large amount of success (not a stealth boast, just setting the scene). However, for a number of reasons this success is likely to not continue, and I suspect it's a large part of why she has enjoyed the hobby.
It's a very expensive hobby, which we had no idea of when we got into it, and means we can't afford family holidays, affecting me, dh and dd(3). It also involves a lot of afternoons hanging around for dd(3) waiting for dd(7) to do her thing, when dd(3) would rather be playing at home.

Some of her school classmates have recently taken up the competitive side of the hobby, and now the competitiveness appears to be spilling over at school in a not very nice way. My dh and I for various reasons hate the competitions and wish we'd never got involved, and my dd is certainly nowhere near as enthusiastic as she was, and never wants to practise.

However, she wants to keep doing the competitions. Would I be unreasonable to 'encourage' her to just do the non competitive side of the hobby, or even to swap hobbies? She is interested in trying out some other hobbies, but we have no idea whether they would suit her.

StripyB you can reinstate tennis unless it's some gilded club. Yes I too paid 100 for DS's latest racquet but it doesn't stack for age 7. At that age it's all cheaper/less intense (you can look on the LTA website how many hours per week training suggested). Group lessons were cheaper than swimming lessons at the council pool. And if they are really good and have been spotted then small amounts of funding kick in. DS is nowhere near that level but a boy at our (subs for a child 50 for the year) club recently played for team GB boys so I have some anecdotal evidence.

OP, nobody knows who you are or where you live, you have an anonymous name on an Internet forum. Unless your child is involved in a hobby that includes an absolute microcosm of human interaction, and involves about ten people in the whole world, your chances of being outed are minimal.

People are now only interested in what the hobby is, so FFS put everyone out of their misery and tell us what it is.

We all want to avoid whatever the hobby is like the plague!

Wow! hak and Korma Didn't realise there were so many Irish Dance families on MN. Just bought dd's dress for Oireachtas. No change out of 1,000 once I bought the full wig and the new hard shoes. She loves it, she really does - please tell me I'm not insane for enabling her habit!

Downamongtherednecks My dd did Irish dancing for five years and I found that the weekends we didn't go to feisanna we spent as much in a couple of hours in the cinema as we did the entire weekend at the feis.

But I don't know what I would have done if I had had another child that wasn't interested in Irish dancing to think about.

Mexican thanks, she has got a lot out of it. DH takes ds to his hobby, but you are right that I spend a huge amount of time at feisanna. Terrified of our first oireachtas this year!

Any chance you could put the hobby in a list of 5 others it could be ie
Sailing
Riding
Shooting
Gymnastics
Pole vaulting?

Downamonggtherednecks I've an IDer too, she's not in Comisiùn and nowhere near your DDs level but it's still mega £££.

That said it's been so good for her confidence and I'm hoping she keeps it up through her teens rather than hanging round the park with silk cut, cheap cider and unsuitable boys like her mother

I don't really understand what the big deal about telling people what the hobby is. Presumably she's not the only 7year old child on the planet doing this hobby so not sure how it would 'out' the OP. Having said that I only want to know because I'm nosy.

OP will you tell us if "the hobby" has been guessed correctly by anyone on this thread?

"Which sports can be enjouyed for fun and without silly expense?!"

Principally, the non team sports. The problem with team sports is that you pretty much have to be in a team that's at an appropriate level for your skill, and then how much time and money is spent gets decided at a team level. You can't be on a synchro skating team but decide you'll only do half the practices and competitions and wear a cheaper dress than everyone else - but as a solo skater, sure you can.

There are also sports which have a history of not being funded by the participants. Football is the big one, not sure about rugby and (mens?) cricket.

If the OP's not comfortable telling us what the hobby is then she's not comfortable.

But she'd get a lot more useful, specific advice if she did tell us. And I struggle to understand how revealing a hobby which has multiple participants per school class could be identifying.

Not much change from £2000 last time I upgraded the main piece of kit for my DD, and that was second hand. But her old one went to DS who competes at a lower level - and she should now be set for the next decade. That sort of thing is why we really need to know what the hobby is. £2000 for something to last her until she's 30 is rather diffferent from £2000 this year, £3000 next year, £5000 the year after that...

Tennis.

I don't see the relevance of the type of hobby, except to satisfy our nosiness! My opinion is she is 7, the expense of this hobby is adversely affecting family life, and having a negative impact on dc2 who is spending his time hanging around. It's a no brainer - it cannot continue. It is unfair on everyone else. Just because she enjoys something doesn't mean it is essential. Probably a very important life lesson in living within a budget, not being able to have everything you want, and compromising for the sake of the family. She'll find adult life an awful lot easier if she understands those concepts.

Once upon a time many years ago when I was a child expensive hobbies did not happen, because even those who considered themselves well off couldn't have found the money to pay for them. We all grew up fine, undamaged, and able to budget.

My half brother does an expensive sport and like your dd competes at a high level. My dad and step mum eventually had to MOVE HOUSE to facilitate training. He does it every day even Christmas day unless the conditions are dangerous ( lots of you have probably guessed what by now!)
Thankfully he is now sponsored so gets
a lot of free and subsidised equipment and even transport to some competitions. Is sponsorship an option for your dd?

I have no idea what hobby would cost this amount but there really is a huge amount of stealth boasting on this thread!

I think it's LARP ... 100 for a sodding rubber halbard! And DS1's Ogre teeth cost a fortune ( It didn't help that he kept taking them out and sitting on them ) It was a huge relief when he died and came back as a human ...

The OP's having a laugh with us, being coy about the hobby, so I've just discovered!

Not wanting to out herself? Impossible! She's a new poster with less than 50, innocuous, non identifying posts, and most of those are from this thread

I agree with Skylark that she'd get more specific and useful advice if we knew the hobby. But as I said upthread, the fact that a 5 year has been able to compete in the hobby narrows it down a lot.

Makes me chuckle though why anyone actually gives a flying one....

You can't afford it ....she's not shining at it ....possibly look at something else....

Keep new hobby all super secret squirrel as it makes you very interesting to others apparently .....

Might try in myself....always fancied naked trapezezing

You can't afford it ....she's not shining at it ....possibly look at something else....

I think this sums it up.

I'm still that the OP diddled us out of knowing the hobby on the pretext of exposure yet she's a new poster with most of her posts on this very thread.

Perhaps she's Madonna