To think that nasty and callous responses seem to have increased on MN recently?

[Tinytillytot]

On AIBU and relationships? Some of the responses have made me feel really down on behalf of the OP?

I've seen in the last couple of days:

One MNer advising they would NOT want their husband talking to a "depressed person" a few times a week (OP had depression and a close bond spanning a few years within ex colleague who had obv. become a great friend)

One MNer asking "FGS is this the 50s" when an obviously devastated woman asked expressed anger and disbelief at possibly (almost definitely cheating) Dh AND the OW

A woman angrily labelling a landlord with a dilemma greedy and immoral for not GIVING AWAY her house to a tenant unable to pay the rent

And just a general increase in the eye rolling, dismissive and cutting put downs to some generally hurt people reaching out for a bit of support?

It's as cold as a nuns t*t in MN world at the moment.

honestly? I don't think it's that bad - see the recent abortion thread which was supportive and kind - I just think some people get short shrift for needing the bleeding obvious pointed out to them ...Eg asking MN'ers to stalk the OW or expecting someones wife to tolerate a co dependent emotional affair may well be unreasonable

Yip agree with you, I actually think some people see it as a competition as to who can be the rudest to the OP.

The trolling has increased too... Maybe posters are picking up on it more easily

In fact one featuring an OW has been taken down today as it seems it's not quite what we think!

Oh fuck off

OK

This is a thread about threads

Take it up on the threads in q, challenge in situ

No change from normal IMO.

MN is quite a lefty, judgey, holier than thou place.
Occasionally however, it has proved really insightful and helpful.

I agree. I've found myself like this --> when reading the replies to some threads recently. I then wondering if I've stumbled into some alternate universe as surely most reasonable people wouldn't be so nasty and obtuse to someone in an obvious dilemma. The one that got me tonight was the bailiff council tax debt thread. The poor OP is a single parent with 6 month old twins who is down to her last lot of money. But because she happens to be a higher than average earner, with the exception of a couple of posts the first few pages people are basically ripping her apart when it's really fucking obvious she's distressed! Thankfully a lot more posters came with helpful advice and support.

I don't get it, if you read an OP and it pisses you off stop fucking reading it! I can understand if the OP is an obvious troll or really is being a fuckwit, but there are a lot of just nasty posts pulling people apart when they're quite obviously distressed about something.

Just because someone is genuinely hurt doesn't mean they're not the ones in the wrong or haven't brought the situation on themselves. I don't see the sense in ignoring the elephant in the room.

I don't think its changed. You get used to the tone after a while, and can prejudge what will be said on any type of thread.

Sometimes the viciousness can shock, but no more now than in the past. (I lurked for years before I joined, it all looked terrifying)

I agree OP, some posters seem to respond in such a superior way! We all get confused and make mistakes, it's fair enough to be constructive but some people seem to relish kicking a person when they're down.

So challenge the responses you find unacceptable and /or report. MNHQ if they agree with you will send an email to the offender.
Threads like this keep surfacing so regularly it's getting tedious.

I blame name changing for a lot of it

Too many people can be a bitch in one NN and sweetness and light in another

But what can you do? I understand the need for some people to name change. I just wish HQ could find a way to stop people abusing it.

I've noticed a lot of stupid/ uninformed posts lately. But maybe I'm just noticing them more?

AIBU is basically bear-baiting for trollers and keyboard warriors! I bet the people who post nasty replies wouldn't say half the stuff they do on here in real life. Most of them don't even READ THE POST PROPERLY and jump on people! I read recently somebody calling an OP 'stupid' for spilling something! This being said, there are some nice, useful responses.

Actually I don't think it's too bad at the moment but it' still rubbish when it happens. It's been much worse. People seem to be challenging the horible posters much more.

Oh yes agree with Worra. I'm annoyed with people name changing just to be bitchy, such as the thread today about the baby boomer greedy parents. It's hiding behind a namechange in a cowardly way. If you cant post something under your original name then maybe you shouldn't be posting at all.

I can understand name changing for a certain person problem, but not just to have a good old bitch about someone.

I think it's been like this for a long time. Loads and loads of supportive posts, some not so much and a few downright rude. Situation normal.

Yes the name changing is often just used to be unpleasant.
MNHQ have made it clear they're not prepared to do anything about it though.

What maninawomansworld says is pretty close to the mark. I enjoy the cut an thrust of the downright intelligent debate here, I am re-reading The Womens Room after many years thanks to the FF, we are more than a load of "whinging Harpies" thanks odious Matthew Wright. "All human life is here" snd the support is pretty good too

I re-read The Womens Room just a few weeks ago Charlie. What's the FF though?

I think posters are fed up of the trolling TBH.

There is a lot of it about.

I genuinely feel that sometimes some robust commenting is needed - you can't just keep saying 'it's alright hun, we love you' sort of stuff.

I agree there should be no need to be blatently rude but I am one of the posters on the 'food bank' thread who's comment was seen to be callous and uncaring ...... sometimes (not particularly that thread) people do need to see that their own actions may have allowed a situation to develop and I believe we should all take responsibility, as far as possible, for our own actions.

I do get fed up with the threads where people moan about their unhelpful husbands and then say something like 'and I am pregnant with our 2nd/3rd child' - how on earth do these women have sex (let alone another child) with these useless men .

Feminist Forum, I enjoy lurking there as I learn a lot....