To think that nasty and callous responses seem to have increased on MN recently?

[Tinytillytot]

On AIBU and relationships? Some of the responses have made me feel really down on behalf of the OP?

I've seen in the last couple of days:

One MNer advising they would NOT want their husband talking to a "depressed person" a few times a week (OP had depression and a close bond spanning a few years within ex colleague who had obv. become a great friend)

One MNer asking "FGS is this the 50s" when an obviously devastated woman asked expressed anger and disbelief at possibly (almost definitely cheating) Dh AND the OW

A woman angrily labelling a landlord with a dilemma greedy and immoral for not GIVING AWAY her house to a tenant unable to pay the rent

And just a general increase in the eye rolling, dismissive and cutting put downs to some generally hurt people reaching out for a bit of support?

It's as cold as a nuns t*t in MN world at the moment.

Of course YABU OP, I thought you said you'd hung out in AIBU, you should know by now that everyone is U

HTH

Fair enough body sorry if I came across heated..

However, there are some very judgy harsh spiteful posters here. It is as if they feel the need to reassure them selves of how perfect they are by showing others how imperfect they are.
Surely that's not what my is about?

I do appreciate that there are some amazing FMs here. Who I do appreciate.
I am one of those that takes posters at face value, asmall I do in rl. Of they fool me so be it. I would rather reach put than scorn.

There's always been those though, the first thread I clicked on was about some sort of altercation and someone answers WHAT, YOU LET YOUR CHILD EAT CRISPS?

Crisps? FOR CHILDREN?.....

Lol...

Are, flipping phone

always been this way though many will claim that to be untrue

I think as time goes on you get used to seeing it and it becomes less of an issue, which is pants really

I'm now disturbed by that picture of Worra's eyebrows.

I must admit that I got an email from HQ pointing out that I was "a bit...mean and aggressive" last week. I should never have clicked on that thread about the poorly hamster I did get a bit heated, but I honestly think I've seen worse.

And I avoid Relationships because so much of it makes me cross.

Oh my no, YANBU. There are posters who take positive delight in going out of their way to be thoroughly unpleasant to others and seem to offer nothing constructive whatsoever. I think I know them now enough to steer clear of certain threads. No comment seems to be innocently made does it, it's all loaded statements to some

But then it says more about that person than anything else. Not easy if you are on the receiving end though or you've had a crap day. It's unnecessary language online or in real life.

There's also some brilliant advice though. The Conception, Pregnancy and Miscarriage forums were/are amazing with some great support. Much more gentler - but then if you never need to visit those areas you wouldn't know would you!

And you get the comments about what you can and can't post and whether you are new or not. This isn't some exclusive club you can post about anything you like whenever you like. Never understood that attitude.

It has always been like this Freudian, why else would threads like this keep cropping up. If you are fairly new, like OP says she is, how would you know that something has just happened 'recently'? No, it's been going on for years and will continue to do so.

Look out for the next thread with similar title OP and you'll see what I'm talking about.

I think you have a point OP. I've been around a while and I was thinking there was a fair bit of harshness around.

Sometimes it isn't even what is said, it's how it is said.

I think FreudiansSlipper's point is a sad one. We shouldn't allow ourselves to become inured to nastiness. Teeny little flakes of your soul die when that happens.

Fairenuff yes that is what I said

others will always claim its not like it used to be

yes but sometimes you get tired of pointing it out but bullies should always been pulled up

not many like to admit on here there are favourites, inside hilarious jokes or cliques but there is

mn favourite disagrees with the op look how many will suddenly pile in not always outright bulling or name calling but certainly belittling others goes on often which is no better

it is the same on all public forums

I've just read the Dress Down thread, and I'm amazed the OP got off as lightly as she did.

BadLad, I just read it too and some of those comments were unnecessary and got really personal! Calling the OP uneducated was a common theme.

freudian very true that on the favourites post. Some levels of hero worship that are baffling to me but oh well. Each to their own. As a pp said it happens a lot on all sorts of forums. Still reminds me of being at school though.

You have to be selective about what you read and what you choose to take on board.

dogs

worra do one! I can move my eyebrows independently.

Sorry freudian pp was you need sleep..

Funnily enough I was thinking this. I was also thinking that one particularly unpleasant, nasty poster actually has a few different nicknames and accounts and flits between them on a post to create a supportive negative vitriolic arguments. You can tell by their style of writing. Mainly on AIBU this is. That said there are of course still as ever so many lovely supportive and very funny laugh out loud posters to redress the balance. But there really is no need for some of the spiteful, twisted, slightly obsessive comments. I mean one poster actually copied and pasted various posters comments from completely different threads to make a completed unjustified attacks on some poor MNers. Boardering on the insane I'd say.

Funnily enough, MNHQ ran a "let's clean up our act on AIBU" thread, not 3 months ago.

It was amusing how it changed things for about a week. People were being all lovely and supportive to each other, threads were all "well I think you're being just a teensy-weeeeeensy bit U, but dont worry just stay around, we're just about to have our daily group hug".

Then a bun was thrown, and all hell breaks loose. Phew, thank goodness for that, back to normal!

I've just read the Dress Down thread, and I'm amazed the OP got off as lightly as she did

The OP didnt get off lightly. People knew the OP was a complete daft windup and had more sense than to waste their energy arguing. I thought "bloody well done MNers, dont give a windup merchant the satisfaction!" Maybe that's the best way, just kill a thread with kindness, pat the OP on the head, and they'll stop timewasting!

Often times I wish that I were speaking with someone anonymously, on MN, so that I could give them my straightforward opinion on what they happen to be saying to me.

here you go OP

That didn't take long did it.

It didn't take long at all. It's clear from a lot of the comments on here though that many MNers and not just the newbies feel that there has been a rise in nasty posts recently, very recently. If there are threads about this throughout mn history then maybe there are patterns or bursts of aggression, maybe a study would prove its linked to the moon or sumfink.

I see a few of the same anti "MN can be mean" posters are all over that one as well. Surely if a thread is so tiresome you just ignore and move on to the next one?

It's more tetchy at certain times of the year, around school holidays and Easter I find.