To think that nasty and callous responses seem to have increased on MN recently?

[Tinytillytot]

On AIBU and relationships? Some of the responses have made me feel really down on behalf of the OP?

I've seen in the last couple of days:

One MNer advising they would NOT want their husband talking to a "depressed person" a few times a week (OP had depression and a close bond spanning a few years within ex colleague who had obv. become a great friend)

One MNer asking "FGS is this the 50s" when an obviously devastated woman asked expressed anger and disbelief at possibly (almost definitely cheating) Dh AND the OW

A woman angrily labelling a landlord with a dilemma greedy and immoral for not GIVING AWAY her house to a tenant unable to pay the rent

And just a general increase in the eye rolling, dismissive and cutting put downs to some generally hurt people reaching out for a bit of support?

It's as cold as a nuns t*t in MN world at the moment.

[Maryz] said it better!

Yes, but it can get ridiculous. I did a tongue in cheek op last year and it inadvertently upset another user.

I apologised because, well it's not nice to be upsetting people even by accident. I asked for the thread to be pulled.

It SHOULD have ended there. Instead it ended up with a pile in against the upset poster saying why should the thread be pulled, who did she think she was etc.

Then I got laid into for disagreeing with them.

It's was bloody horrible

So if you see it and think the OP is getting uncalled for nasty responses,call it on the thread.Starting whiny threads about the bullies blah blah does fuck all to stop it.

I agree usual. What is the point in starting a thread when you could just post of the thread in question and be specific.

I often see people post 'those of you who think...'

No, address the poster by name, say what it is that you think is out of order. Put it out there for everyone to see.

Otherwise, a thread like this just makes everyone think you are talking about someone else and nothing gets addressed properly.

I think there is a bit of competitive straight talking in aibu - people who are convinced that the op must, always, be unreasonable and want to set out to prove it. That makes some threads go completely tits up in a very strange way.

Absobloodylutely... Specifically re people overly trying to be the no nonsense straight talking sassy type....

I couldn't agree more with usual

Just call it on the thread, for heaven's sake.

I got horribly, horribly trolled on another forum years ago. Outed all over said forum. Real name, phone number, the works so I learned to be very thick skinned. It's been oddly and pointlessly nasty the last few days. Oh well!

Yeah I think people do call it in the threads to be honest.

bottled that's horrible. It should be illegal.

It is now. Thankfully. It was so frustrating that there was nothing I could do.

bottle argh sucks! Hope nothing irreparable came of that. This happened to a friend of mine recently and it was an absolute epic shit storm. The Internet is scary

I think people do call it in the threads to be honest

But OP didn't, she started this thread instead.

I stick up for anyone that needs it.
Even if I'm the only one.

It's the veiled "I'm superior to you but I'm just within the guidelines" responses that piss me off. I have always been against the "hide poster" requests, but I'm beginning to agree.

I also agree with calling it on the thread. So I'm a hypocrite for posting on this one. But I'm so sick of the undercurrents and fucking agendas of some posters!

StickEm

Tbf lots of people's did call out the nasty responses on the 3 threads I mentioned above. I didn't, that's true and I completely agree that I should (I've only done it once) Point definitely taken on board...

Good god this again? Every couple of weeks we have 'Mumsnet's turned all nasty'. NO IT HASN'T HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE SAME - SOME GOOD, SOME BAD, SOME UGLY POSTS. Is exactly the same as it was six years ago when I stumbled across AIBU and thought 'wow these are some intelligent, feisty, interesting, and some downright mad scary women here - I like'. Hth.

back there do seem to be peaks and troughs though.

I like to think I call it on threads, and definitely don't just agree with everyone because it's the easy option.

But I don't see why the OP shouldn't start a thread about it either, if it particularly bothers her tonight.

Erm, OP, I don't want to alarm you but I think something has gone wrong with AIBU. We are five pages into your thread and there has been no nastiness and (shock, horror) plenty of reasonable discussion and even some (gulp) agreement

Oh sorry, backbystealth, I didn't see you there

But not everyone's been on MN for years and I've never seen a thread saying this before? I'm less than a year on MN and just wanted to ask if everyone agreed things seemed increasingly hostile or thought I was BU?

Should have realised the first rule of fight club is never to talk about fight club....my bad :)

I felt I got a few nasty responses on the 'relationship board' and it surprised me as I felt more like I was in AIBU.

However once I said that to their credit no more harsh replies followed.

It's definitely best to confront it there and then. No point moaning about it afterwards.