Pool Changing Room.

[Roobix04]

Ok not sure if I even have an issue just wanted to see what other people think.
So yesterday me and my 17 yo dsis were at the pool with 6mo dd and a woman came into the changing room with her 2 sons. One was about 6 and the other was 10/11. They got changed in a cubicle but with the curtain open. I was across from them wearing just a towel trying to dry my hair and not flash anyone and my dsis was supposed to be getting out of her bikini while making sure my dd didn't roll off the table. The thing is the older boy was obviously reaching the stage where he's getting curious about women's bodies which is fine but it meant he kept looking at us. We both felt a little uncomfortable about exposing ourselves to him. I'm definitely not implying he was a pervert or anything but I think he's too young to be exposed to my slightly saggy body. I think at that age he's old enough to go into the men's on his own. So were we being unreasonable or was that a little weird?

*shame, not Shane!

In the female changing rooms I mentioned feeling awkward in upthread it was common for women to walk around nude. If you tried to shower in the open showers in a costume you would have felt more self conscious as you would have been the only one - and a lot walked around naked holding their towel in their hand
There were 4 or so full length cubicles with no doors/screen/curtains - and they were on the way to the pool - everyone walked past ...rest were basically benches.

I hated it having been brought up more modestly (and also having to put the stocking on) - and one of the worst experiences was in showers - bent down (bottom to the wall, slightly bent knees) to pick up my shampoo and as I stood up straight in my eye line was something from the centre pages of a top self magazine - a woman was bending down putting cream on her legs....not something I want to see...yuk...

most private gyms i have been in are quite open about nudity in (single sex) changing rooms

the showers are fab so definitely not ones you would keep a cossie on for

changing rooms spotless

quite a different 'vibe' at our local pool

Male privilege?

I don't want women or older girls around while I am in a state of undress. It would be offensive to me. Barring the case of a doctor who happened to be on site dealing with a medical emergency - and in any case doctors are somehow different - it is simply unacceptable. If that means that a man can't take his DD swimming once she reaches whatever age is fixed, and 8 sounds right - or has to wait while she faffs around in the ladies' changing rooms, so be it. Equally a mother can't bring her son, no matter how young, into the men's changing room.

It's not male privilege, it's not female privilege, it's adult privilege, and I claim it.

I expect most 11 year olds would fine to go and get changed on their own even though the thought of it would worry a lot of parents.

Bloody hell me and my friends were going swimming on our own at 11. Either getting the bus there or getting a lift with a parent. God knows how we coped with getting changed without mummy drying our toes for us in the big bad female changing room...

11 is secondary school age! Do these parents need to go into school to help their little darlings get changed after pe?

Fair point, Andrew!
I guess we were just saying 'male privilege' because on this thread it's been the mums complaining about other women not wanting their sons in the female changing rooms. Let's be honest: throughout their lives, it's girls & women who have to put up with inappropriate male behaviour (cat-calling, whistling, groping etc) more than the other way around. Why shouldn't they have a safe space where they can walk around undressed and not be hassled?

MrsDeVere, that's really unfair to your son. . All the gyms and pools I've been to here have one or two family change rooms with a separate entrance, lock, etc. No child should miss out on swimming because of change room logistics.

Koala on this overwhelmingly female forum most complaints come from women!

I entirely agree with most inappropriate behaviour being male and that women are entitled to a safe female-only space when they are undressing.

It just happens that that is (I think) the only time men need the same thing in reverse, and in some pools (like mine, with its bench and locker arrangement and nowhere for cubicles) that restricts some people from coming there at all at some points in the lives of their children.

I think the female changing room should be for females. My gym has a rule that boys from 8 years old have to go in the male changing room which I feel is appropriate.

Of course the problem will be that a lot of parents will not let boys go in the male changing room or toilets because they are apparently full of perverts - which is why partly why the queue for the ladies is so long. My 6 year old does come with me at the pool, but would be embarrassed if he was made to use the ladies' loo which he stopped using when he was about 4.