To not want to meet nor have any clue how to handle this sexist arse?

[Vintagecrap]

I am meeting the boyfriends father tomorrow. I have been pre warned that he is rather sexist and is known for offending people.
He will refer to woman as ' look at that little machine' and ' the bird likes x, does she'

The boyfriend says that he would probably be diagnosed with some condtion nowadays, but as it is he is 60 ish and it isnt going to happen, and that in some ways his behavoior has led him to be successful as he has done very well for himself in terms of career and wealth.

All of his previous girlfriends have hated him, bar one, who let him suck her toes once ( and i cant imagine a situation where this would even happen)

The brother is also going to be there, he doesnt work, lives like a hermit, lives off family money and rarely speaks.

Normal course of the evening is to get awfully drunk, argue about politics and wave their arms around.

I really do not want to sit in the company of someone who thinks im a ' machine' because i happen to have boobs and a vagina.
I have no idea how to handle it at all really.

I know no family is perfect, but at least mine made my boyfriend feel welcome and he was sent home with a ton of food and cake.

If we all kept firmly on-topic then MN would be dreadfully boring, privatepike

If he recognises he has a problem and wants to do something about it,
could you direct him to AA?

Even if he just went to a few meetings and listened to what people have
to say, I'm certain he would identify with a lot of it!

Thread Still rumbling on then.

I've seen him twice, both for a few hours.

I don't think it was planned. He is very sorry about it and has said he is very shocked at how he was.

However. He kept shutting his eyes. Said it was because he was embarrassed.

He didn't bring it up when I saw him. I had to.

He drinks too much. I suggested help but he wants to do it himself. Don't think that means he is serious about it.

He seems very sad and Down to the point where I felt like I had to console him. Not really what you want.

I've realised the dad's behaviour is by the by and it's all about how he was
And I don't think I can reconcile it.

So, have you dumped him or no?

Sorry, I'm confused!

I'm going to.

Sorry vintage, it is a crappy situation :(

I needed to think about it and see how he was.
But based on how he has been when I have seen him, I know it's got no legs.

Sorry, Vintage but you really are doing the right thing!

If you are genuinely not sexist, you don't suddenly become sexist by drinking alcohol.

He is a sexist arse. The fact that he's only let you see it once doesn't change the fact that those are his values.

Trust your instincts vintage.
Deep down inside himself, he reckons it wasn't that big a deal. Fundamentally.

It's a shame, but there you go.

I don't know if he can be helped or not, but after 4 months dating I wouldn't put yourself and your dd through the pain of finding out, so I agree, go with your instincts. Sorry this one was a disappointment , onwards and upwards though (and with a fantastic anecdote). Thank goodness you went, on reflection! Better to know now.