To not want to meet nor have any clue how to handle this sexist arse?

[Vintagecrap]

I am meeting the boyfriends father tomorrow. I have been pre warned that he is rather sexist and is known for offending people.
He will refer to woman as ' look at that little machine' and ' the bird likes x, does she'

The boyfriend says that he would probably be diagnosed with some condtion nowadays, but as it is he is 60 ish and it isnt going to happen, and that in some ways his behavoior has led him to be successful as he has done very well for himself in terms of career and wealth.

All of his previous girlfriends have hated him, bar one, who let him suck her toes once ( and i cant imagine a situation where this would even happen)

The brother is also going to be there, he doesnt work, lives like a hermit, lives off family money and rarely speaks.

Normal course of the evening is to get awfully drunk, argue about politics and wave their arms around.

I really do not want to sit in the company of someone who thinks im a ' machine' because i happen to have boobs and a vagina.
I have no idea how to handle it at all really.

I know no family is perfect, but at least mine made my boyfriend feel welcome and he was sent home with a ton of food and cake.

I think your bf/exbf knows that he behaved badly and probably doesn't fully understand why he did. And from your point of view he hasn't behaved like this in the 4 reasonably happy months that you have been seeing each other (romantically) hence your dilemma. The only solution I can see is REMATCH!!. That is put on your own family get together on YOUR terms - and make it the most over the top demonstration of post-feminism that you can possibly put together. BF/probationBF/sbtxbf needs to be in on the PLOT and that's the criteria he needs to fulfil or he's GONE. You don't even need to use real family members, your best female friends you know to play the PART (my capitals indicate the key words).

BF/pbBF/xbf's role is to lure his dad (bro optional) to this 'family event' under the GUISE that you feel bad at taking things the wrong way (quiet at the back!) and want to make it up with some of your well-renowned 'entertaining' skills (true or not).

This then becomes a complete win-win situation for you as not only will you and your 'family' have huge laughs putting it together and doing it, you can also humiliate 'sexist arse' and test the BF/etc person.

MN can also come up with a really good 'Penis Song' to play please can I come?

I am the only one who's picked up on the fact that OP got behind the wheel of her car after a few wines?
Now that truly is atrocious behaviour.

BlackWings, read it again.

"I only drank half a bottle of wine between 6 pm and midnight. With food.

We shared a taxi back to the boyfriends.

I then stayed for 20 mins or so before leaving and drove my car back to mine, where I couldn't park.and had to walk in no light as the street lights go off at 12."

Half a bottle would be maybe 5 units of alcohol, your liver metabolises it at around one unit per hour; so five units over six hours, OP would have been completely legal to drive.

You can't possibly know that. Alcohol metabolism depends on many factors including bodyweight, individual metabolic rate etc. No way should anyone be driving an hour after an evening drinking. Totally reckless.

Oh and OP's post on p5 says 'a few glasses of wine' not 2 which would be well over 5 units.

Half a bottle is 2x 175ml glasses. 5 units.

One unit raises BAC by 15-30mg. The legal limit is 80mg. Approximately one unit is metabolised per hour.

Unlikely OP was over the limit, but way to focus on the point, BW.

Op, sorry to be one of the "OMFG LTB" brigade - I don't usually say that on mn, and this is why! Give yourself the time and space to make the decision that's right for you. Whatever that is, you will find support here

She drank it up til midnight. No way wouls her body have metabolized it before she drove.

Basically she drove 20 mins after a half bottle of wine.

Not good idea OP.

Yes that isnt point of thread though.

I am pretty surprised you are not definite about dumping this guy OP.

I cant believe people are arguing on here that its possible to drive 20 mins after a half bottle of wine. Scary that this is a common belief.

Will leave that now though

Fanjo, she didn't drink half a bottle of wine and drive 20 mins later, she drank half a bottle of wine over the course of 6 hours.

Yes. If she had drank it all at 6 she might have been ok by 12.

But drinking it til 12 and driving at 1220..no way.

I dont want to derail thread. Just am to read people thinking thats how it works.

Would you go to pub and drink several glasss of wine over an evening and drive home? Really?

Couldn't you all go off and start a 'metabolizing alcohol' thread? No one that's watched this thread from the beginning thought as Blackoutlook did - who is correct at least in the thought that even if she might not have been the only one that thought as she did, she/he was the only one that posted about it. Not saying it's not a valid point but could you "take it outside" please?

Ok but I had said I would leave it.

So no need to get on soapbox really.

Dunno, I never usually drink at all if driving.

But what's incorrect about having 2 units at 7pm, 2 at 9pm and one at 10pm (say) and driving at 0020 if the legal limit is just over 2 units and the body metabolises one per hour?

The maths of that seems ok to me, unless I've missed something...?

X post.

Sorry, OP, hope you are ok.

I would answer you..but have been told off.

I do think though..it's a thread showing care for OP.

I actually do care if she drinks and drives and gets hurt

Off to have a drink

I met my ex's family who were all kinds of ways dysfunctional and it really helped me understand him and why he struggled with trusting other people and being committed to them. So go as an act of love for your BF, maybe have a code word for if you absolutely have to get out?

Have you rtft ocelot ?

Actually, I've been reading the thread from the start and wondering when/whether to mention the drink driving bit (and tbh amazed that it wasn't picked up sooner). From my training, rule of thumb for driving after alcohol was to wait 1 hour per unit of alcohol, after you stop drinking. Personally, I think the op would definitely still have been over the legal limit to drive, but I realise that this is a support thread of sorts, and so don't need a telling off too.