New boyfriend called me a 'project'.

[proseccofiend]

First time poster. Please be nice. Been seeing a lovely guy since June. Met OLD. Not to dripfeed, but on Saturday after a fun night out after a few wines, we had a bit of an argument. I know I can be bolshy and assertive. Fiesty is probably a nicer term though! I am younger than him, but only by a few years (I am late twenties) He told me he didn't want a 'project' but otherwise really liked me. I told him it is not a Taming of the Shrew situation and to take a hike if that's what he thought. But I do like him a lot. AMIBU?

Dunno?! I'll second your request pedant for a picture!

Which book, prosecco?

Also, I've sent you a PM...

Good for you OP, my jaw was dropping as I read his side of things!

The book was 'Gone Girl', Pedant. I've jumped on the bandwagon because the film was excellent.

It's funny about being short. I broke up with a very tall boyfriend once after he told me he hadn't been expecting a pocket rocket and had gone out with me because he thought short girls were quieter.

Seriously? Who do these guys think they are?!

Funnily enough, this guy was only 5"8, to my 5"3...

Only 5'8"?!? That's slightly below average [men's] height, not exactly short, but it's sure as fuck not towering over you.

Ooh, dear, prosecco - this guy just gets better and better. Is he available now? I mean, like, grrrrrAAAOOOOWWW!

Ha! I'm guessing he is available now, yes. He's still trying to contact me. I got a message yesterday asking if I'd 'managed to calm down yet'. Knob.

'managed to calm down'?!

Please please tell him to get tae fuck again, just to press home the point. That whole "calm down dear" or "don't overreact" is the one thing absolutely guaranteed to make me blow my top, to educate the fuckknuckle in what an overreaction truly is.

Grrr. OP, lucky escape.

Have just come back to this thread after reading the beginning of it.

Prosecco - you rock! I lol at you saying your piece and walking out.

Wtaf is on about with height? My DH is over a foot taller then me but in 18 years has never felt it gives him carte blanche to dictate my behaviour.

'managed to calm down yet'

HUGE red flag here love, HUGE!

He doesn't care register that his behaviour is in anyway unacceptable and he thinks that you have a duty to put up with whatever shit he throws at you.

i do hope that you will be ignoring him...

I am 5'6", so an easy 5'8" in heels... would he think he can tell ME what to do? or when I am wearing my heels, would that give ME the right to boss him about?

Would he even date someone his natural height (shorter than average for a man)?

A complete prick love. you are well shot.

the guy i have been seeing says his height is 5'7", yet I'm taller than him so guessing he's 5'5" at the MOST. girls on the dating thread have introduced me to the term Internet Height :) I would not presume either one of us to be deferential to the other in any way shape or form.

My previous boyf was 6'6", he didn't boss me about either.

Make up fantasy replies, but FGS don't give him the satisfaction of sending them...

Such as

"No, haven't 'managed to calm down' yet, why? Have you managed to fuck off to the far side of fuck yet?"

I read your OP when you first posted, and have just caught up with everything.

What a complete twatbadger. You have had a very lucky escape from this patronising, belittling, controlling wanker. "Have you managed to calm down yet?" - seriously? Tell him the 1950s called and want their attitudes back.

At least you know your spidey-senses are in full working order, and I'm glad you saw him for what he is sooner rather than later. The only downside is the next woman he meets might not have the self-esteem that you do, and end up in a LTR with him

for you prosecco

I do think that an answer along the lines of:

"Thank you for your message. You can rest assured that I will never 'calm down' (as you put it) on the subject of being treated like a fellow rational human being, with all the rights and privileges thereof. Kindly stop contacting me. Yours sincerely, prosecco."

would do it (and be deeply satisfying to press send on)

Who the fuck is he, Michael Winner?

How typical that his response to your rational concern, is to "girlie-ise" it by implying upset on your part. I'd be tempted to reply "Yes, I have, dearest. I was on my lady period, but now I can go back to being the calm and submissive girl you deserve. I'll pop over and iron your shirts, now."

The minute yiu show appropriate assertive behaviour he criticises you? Actually, name calls as well.

He is a twat, possibly inadequate and wants to put you in your place.

Oh sorry, I did not read the previous page.

You did the right thing.