To report a mother to the head

[squidge08]

bit of a rant here but AIBU to have reported a mother who shouted at my child to the head. I was absolutely livid! She even had the audacity to shout at me!

Do I dare ask what EBM is?....

My DS has ASD and also doesn't understand the need to apologise, nor would he ever expect an apology. However I see it as my job to teach him that he should apologise if he hurts someone.

How would you feel OP if someone hurt your DS? Would you shout and be upset? You have to put yourself in the shoes of the other mother.

I would dearly like to know, Ora. I've been feeling quite concerned ever since it was mentioned by a pp. One would hope it had been thawed out by now...

Expressed breast milk

Am surprised at people feeling it was OK for the mum to shout at OPs child.

Whatever happened. We should still be able to control ourselves and not shout and rant at children, as adults.

Methinks a few of the people giving OP the hardest time are not averse to a bit of shouting in the playground either.

Also at a loss about EBM. (Sounds intriguing, though!)

Ahhh! Thanks want !

Ah, thanks, wantto.

No the hamster was ill and hadn't eaten for 3 days....they fed it frozen breast milk and I think they expected 'ahhhh blessssss' how sweet. What they got was 'get the poor pet to the vets'....which they had no intention of doing for 'only a hamster'

It was the suggestions to 'sidle up' to the other mum and 'whisper' in her ear and the unspecified 'consequences' which I had issue with ThatBloodyWoman. I don't think anyone thinks you're a menace to society though and your last post sounds far more reasonable. I don't think it's generally ok to shout at other people's kids, unless its to stop them doing something likely to harm themselves or others. I think it's fine to challenge someone on this but not threaten the not only because it's not on to go around threatening people and it makes you look a twat but more because people assume bullies are essentially cowards and when confronted will back down but that's not always the case.

Wait, they didn't think a frozen hamster was EBM, did they?

I didn't read the hamster thread, life is too short, but EBM stands for expressed breast milk.

I would have thought the head had far better things to do than get involved in parents' squabbles. This sounds petty beyond belief.

I just don't type fast enough, onlyonescoop! (and I have such a gothic imagination)

Well I'm glad it clear to you now ILove !
Sidle was used in its context of unobtrusively, whisper I its context of quietly -nothing more sinister.

I think the act of challenging them is quite adequete.

I still don't get how I would be threatening in the sense of something menacing though.
I see it as pointing out that there would be a consequence to their actions.
Think of how many times in our daily lives we use 'threat' in order to teach or modify behaviour ......if you keep shouting you won't be allowed to watch x today for example.A threat of reaction to action.But not menacing.

Am surprised at people feeling it was OK for the mum to shout at OPs child

Did many people say that though?

Some did.

You are very blase about a child getting hurt and very concerned about another child getting shouted at. Since if sounds like you didn't see the incident or the shouting at you child, might be a good idea to talk to the other parent about what happened.

Ok I am surprised at ANY people thinking thats OK.

Oops, replied to page 2 and it's page 7 now. Serves me right for eating and MNing.

I was under the impression that the op did want to deal with it, but the other mum went off on one?
Or have I misread the whole thing?!

Of course it's not alright to shout at a kid under those circumstances. A boy ran smack into me and Ds outside school yesterday bcause he wasn't paying attention. So I said, what most people would say which was 'oops sorry' and walked on.

Goodness that woman sounds a little deranged. From your later post I don't think you were being unreasonable in those circumstances. Any adult who reduced a child to tears by shouting at them is fairly out of order IMO.

I think that bloody woman it was your phrasing - but especially the threat of undefined consequences, which read very much like "'av a go if you think you're hard enough" or a "gangsta" veiled threat of violent repercussions. As you say parents frequently "threaten" children with consequences, but for one thing you don't have that relationship with another adult, and more importantly its always better to define the specific consequence (no screen time? :) Involving the school?) Ratherthan issue a vague open ended threat!

Nobody has said its OK to shout at other people's children (except in the rather different instance of the busy road example somebody gave) but lots have said its odd not to apologise if your child hurts another, and odd to behave like a child telling tales about other parents to the head of your child's school.