To report a mother to the head

[squidge08]

bit of a rant here but AIBU to have reported a mother who shouted at my child to the head. I was absolutely livid! She even had the audacity to shout at me!

That was one major drip feed, from your earlier posts I would say YABU.

When DS was in Y1 he and another child in his class were playing together with DD1 (a toddler at the time) before school. I was watching from the side of the playground with DD2's pram, his Mother was sitting on a bench chatting with her friend. At one stage the C started dragging DD1 across the playground on her knees, I called (shouted) across the playground to get him to stop as he was about to hurt her. The Mother, then came over and had a go at me because, I told her child to stop hurting my DD1, I was never to speak to him again and I should have spoken to her and got him to deal with the situation. Of course, by the time I ran to her, interrupted her conversation and she acted, DD1 could have been seriously hurt.

However, from the drip feed, I am no longer sure who is in the right.

I think that probably there is her version of the situation, your version and somewhere in the middle, what actually happened.

Or Bloody your "advice" might be to the kind of person who couldn't give a shit what you think, turns round and gives you both barrels or reports you to the head for threatening behaviour. Not really worth it over a very minor incident. If you whispered that in my ear I would have burst out laughing and thought you were slightly deranged!

OP is getting a giant shredding for not much at all.

Her Autistic son accidentally bumped into a child.

The child's mother shouted at him and made him cry.

OP then told the woman not to shout at him and said accidents happen.

The OP then went to the HT to complain

OP may have overreacted but she doesn't deserve this vitriol. It makes everyone here look silly.

Maybe I got brought up different from some of you.
I've found it works though.

OP you didn't see what happened, and didn't hear what the woman said to your son, so why you are reporting to the head I have no idea.

This happened to me a while back...a wee lad in the playground kicked a football at my dd's head - she was 4 at the time. He missed by a baw hair, and I snapped "be careful! You almost hit her in the head!"
He was in tears, and his mother was none too pleased. She didn't see or hear what happened either...and came over all grim faced on the word of her son. She accused me of shouting at him too...even though I didn't.
I didn't budge an inch - I will protect my own over hers every single time.

Your son will get over it.

Nicknacky!!

"Accidents happen"...what a lovely way to brush off the fact her child got hurt.

Agree Nicky

But it wasn't a big deal, so why get all shouty?

Vitriol?!

Where?

Worra I suppose she was feeling defensive due to shouty mother upsetting her Autistic son. Many would.

ThatBloodywoman, it is taking that a bit far isn't. Do you know what the consequence of threatening someone like that. They might drop you where you stand.

No vitriol. And really, you're taking this story on face value? Even the bits that directly contradict the other bits? Why?

Grockle all you have on MN is face value. If one assumes people are lying then ALL threads would turn into bun fights.

Some horrible attitudes to the OP here.

If this was the other way round, and there was an OP saying "was IBU to shout at a child for accidentally bumping into mine, then shouting at the mother who then told me her child had autism?" there would be a unanimous YABU.

Instead we're seeing every word being picked apart, doubting the story, accusations of drip-feeding (so what? sometimes people post the OP in haste), and comments about it being the OP's first post. Plus the same old thing that being the parent of a child with, or having disabilities like ASD/ADHD means that you only deserve kindness if you keep quiet and know your place.

It just sounds like a situation that got heated, with some rudeness from the other woman, and some understandable defensiveness from the OP.

The head said the other mother's behaviour was 'appalling'

Don't believe that for a minute.

That bloody you sound ridiculous from that comment, not scary - as Nicky said, totally inappropriate, out of contect and over dramatic. All comments like that get you as a reputation as a loon to keep away from ...

It will intimidate some people ThatBloodyWoman but it's a high risk strategy, either you'll risk being reported for making threats and banned from the playground or people will realise that it's an empty threat and laugh at you, then what do you do? Also you might be able to intimidate many people with your 'advice' but sooner or later you'll sidle up to the wrong person and get a swift head-butt for your troubles or find them and their mates waiting for you down a dark ally one night. Seriously OP that is terrible advice, you'd quickly descend from having some other of the parents feeling sympathy and making allowances for your child's behaviour because of his ASD to the weird psychopath whose child is aggressive because, well just look how his mum behaves.

I think posters have just become a tad confused during the drip feed of circumstances ....

s-posts with claphands

You said it much more succinctly than me

I totally agree.

I shouted at someone else's child this morning ....8yo walking to school on his own, tagged along with DD & I (same class) - he saw a friend in the school grounds and ran across a side road (full of parent's dropping off) without looking first... shock meant that I really did shout...no intention of apologising - if I see his mum I'll mention it to her ... wonder if she will report me to the head teacher too?
Just hope someone would do the same for my DD if they saw her do something equally silly ...it takes a village and all that...

That might get laughed at if she's lucky, she might get floored as she is deemed a threat to the person she is having a quiet word with.

Claphands, you can't have any face value when half of the OP's post say one thing and the other half say the opposite! It's not guessing that someone is lying, its just basic logic that they have to be.
You can only go on face vale if there is some internal consistency.

No it doesn't say one thing then another. She didn't express herself well. That much is obvious to anyone who spends ANY time on here.

Her posts were short and she drip fed which made people confused as to what happened.

As the mother of an autistic DS1, I would say that in the first scenario you gave us, YABU. You should have apologised on behalf of your DS, as he would not have known to do so himself.

In the second scenario YWNBU as the other mother sounds to have gone way past the point of reasonable conversation.

Only you know which version of events is more accurate.

ahem, either she went to the head or the head came to her...both cannot be true. Likely it is all exaggerated. Just apply logic.