I'm in a mess. I have a lovely 3 year old DS from IVF. Our chances of conceiving naturally are very, very slim. Or so we thought.
I ran out of my pill which I was taking to manage painful ovulation and periods and BANG, I fell pregnant whilst arranging a repeat prescription.
The reality is, I had not planned to have any more children and am very happy with our family as it is. DS and I have a special bond and I cherish my time with him. We are comfortable financially, I have just started my own business which is doing really well, and we're about to move to Devon meaning my husband will be away from home for a few nights in the week with work (too far to commute daily).
My worries are these:
- I HATED the baby phase and was pretty miserable with mild PND and very bored until DS was two.
- My business will struggle as I'm a one-woman-band.
- I love our holidays and time together as a couple and I know that this will be difficult for at least 3 years (holidays with young children are never relaxing)
- I'm 42. That has all sorts of implications for the baby and my energy levels
- If I have a girl, we will be heading in separate directions at weekends
- I don't feel "Happy" to be pregnant. I feel sick with worry.
My husband really wants a sibling for DS but I;m not convinced that's a good reason to have another child.
That said, I'm terrified I may never forgive myself if I have a termination. DH says he understands how I feel and wants to talk tonight.
How can I make this impossible decision, unless nature makes it for me!?